well my girl always bugs me about this and right now i just dont know what to do.. at firts i told her i had 3 just to shut her up but then i fucked up and she found out i had more so i said 5 lol the thing is that right now we are up to seven and she crys everytime i tell her what i want to know is.. is this going to damage my realtionship i was trying to keep it small because i wanted to seem cool at first but not like a man whore and now that shes finding out it actually hurts me becuase i really love this girl and i dont want to hurt her feelings i mean i would not like to be with a girl that has had a shit load of diffrent sex partners imean just my opinion the worst part is she has only had 1 guy and that was the only time she lost her virginity and then i came along so it makes it worst i feel like shit and idont know what to do anymore :/

I had one girl before my current girl and she had 10 guys before me. I couldn't care less. And if she loves you she won't care either. I told her and she also told me. It's just about honesty, trust, and tolerance.

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What I like in life is nothing more but living it.

to be honest you should have just told the truth. Once you are in a "relationship" you gotta be honest about stuff, it will bite you in the ass eventually... always.

However, now you're in the situation you're in you've basically gotta apologise and be honest. How is she finding out that its more if its not you telling her? You could try to do damage limitation but if she's gonna find out and its gonna keep upsetting both of you there's no point.

tell her the truth but remind her that its a number that doesnt matter, etc etc. play it depending on her personality etc. My gf's only been with one guy and im obviously on more girls than that but ive never lied to her and she doesnt really care. Make her feel good, use your experience to good effect "ive had x girls but theres something different/better/more exciting/ whatever you like" about her... good luck bro

I would wait a while before I tell her.

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http://www.themodernfemme.com

thank you for the advice guys i will put it to good use ireally needed some good advice since iwas stuck in this situation for a while now and did not know how to handle it...

I agree relationships are all about honesty. Tell her the truth. Otherwise she will never know the real you. What's the worse that can happen? If she cuts and runs (highly unlikely) then she isn't the girl for you anyway.

I made the mistakes of telling some lies recently and they came back to bite me in the ass. I ended up loosing a great girl. Oh well, every relationship is a learning experience.

Can't start a new topic yet, so I'll ask here.


What is the purpose of knowing how many partners your GF has had? Is it to make sure she's LTR or wife material?

I've slept with more women that I can remember. Seriously, I stopped counting a few years ago.

Currently I'm starting a relationship for the first time in 10 years. Do I want to know how many partners this girl had in the past? Well, in a way I would... but I'm sure any number she gives me is either a lie, or if it's true (and if I find it to be too big) then I'll be disappointed, or doubt her values, maybe think she's a slut.

On the other hand, I've started dating women who've told me I'm the second or third guy they've slept with, and I find this as much of a turn off as if she slept with 100 guys. I mean, really? Just 2? No challenge, too easy.

So honestly, I think nothing good comes off knowing how many partners your GF has been with.

Thoughts?

btw, I'm 31. Not sure how old you kids are, but when I was 18-25 I used to want to know.

Remember kids, curiosity killed the cat..

Wait a while....

That's something I wouldn't talk about, because she doesn't need to know. Just like how I don't need to know how many she has had. Women have this need to feel special and unique, and she WANTS to hear that she's the only girl you've been with. We all know that that's ludicrous, especially because she may have been with twice as many guys as you have been with girls. Nonetheless, that;s what she WANTS. The less information she has, the more her mind can fantasize and fill in the blanks, and she can justify or BELIEVE that she's the only one, and when she finds out about one, she can justify to herself that you never lied.

If you are properly making your girlfriend feel like she's special and appreciated, she won't even think about this.

If you are going to answer, though, tell her THE TRUTH. Lying will get you nowhere, especially since women really respect a man of integrity. It's a matter of temporary discomfort that she's not the only girl you've had, vs the long term pleasure of knowing you're a man who wouldn't lie to her.

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Jazzy Jeff: "My love for you is like a river,
Like a summer breeze that makes my soul shiver,
One look from you is more precious than gold,
Let's grab some BBQ and go get busy!"

I think I actually said that to a girl that was questioning me about it. I normally leave the topic alone. I think to myself her past is her own and my past is mine. Truth of it is I actually don't wanna know the number.

If you have slept with like 50-1000 girls I would lie if I were you. I first hand knew a guy who was engaged and one of his buddies dropped the bomb of how many chicks he slept with (100+) and his fiance freaked out large, almost called it off cause he never told her!! Guess my point is if its high as hell, lie and take it to the grave.

Complete honesty with women, warts and all pays.
Why?

You dont have to juggle the truth vs BS down the track and come unstuck.
She respects you because you have respected her by being honest.
Affraid of the potential answer, she may refrain from asking touchey questions down the track (perfect!)
You both always know where you stand.
You are showing the alpha strength that she wants to see (a weak man covers up his past).
You are showing you are not affraid of losing her.
If she is hurt, well-she asked the question so its partly her fault.
You demonstrate you are proud and confident in who you are.
You stand a much better chance of getting honest answers from her back.
She will be more inclined to trust you in general in life, helping you get out of potentially sticking situations down the track.
Im sure there are more...

Nice post, where you hit a bunch of very valid reasons. Jot this down, men. You'll want to reference this post later...

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Jazzy Jeff: "My love for you is like a river,
Like a summer breeze that makes my soul shiver,
One look from you is more precious than gold,
Let's grab some BBQ and go get busy!"

don't lie, just tell her. that way she'll cry once not over and over again.

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Even the most naturally gifted can learn to become better.