The gf:
26 years old engineering grad student. Very pretty and easygoing, but the definition of a female APC. On student loans and pretty poor at the moment. Italian, been here 3 years.
Me:
30 years old average looking guy, but well groomed and dress stylishly. I have a good natural game with a few big holes I'm trying to fix. I own a small business and got no money problems.
The situation:
Been good friends for about 5 months. She was chasing me with very little subtlety after 4. We started dating about a month ago and were seeing each other regularly and had very good sex on most if not all dates. She lives with her ex-bf out of financial need and he's leaving the country in about 2-3 weeks.
The problem:
The bf had always been in the picture and was jealous of me from day 1 of our friendship. When we began to date, she didn't tell him. Gave her a pair of old speakers for her laptop and he got suspiscous. He confronted her and she told him we were dating. Called her names and told her she disgusted him. Real gentlemen stuff here.He basically took vacations he had saved so he's now home 100% of the time and checking her phone log, emails, txt msg, etc.
I called her after this, not knowing what happenned and she was actually panicked when she realized it was me, probably fearful of him finding out. She hung up after 30 sec of mumbling non-sense and told me she'd call me back later. I got an email at 2 am (he must've been asleep) explaining the situation to me and saying it might be best for us to "put our relationship on the ice" until he left in about a month or so.
I was a bit confused, but I could see the kind of quicksand she was in. Last thing I want is to cause her trouble, so I replied to her that it would be the mature thing to do. It was a long email (not a novel though) and it was very positive. It was saying that all would be well, that I'd be waiting for her, that it would all be over in a few weeks and we'd be able to go back to seeing each other then.
It was maybe 1 am when I sent it, but she replied about 15 minutes alter saying she would like to reply to this wonderful email I had just written her (with all the happy smilies and stuff that she usually makes when she's in a good mood). She also said we could probably see each other next week and that she'd write me when she'd come back from her trip to NY. Yes, she actually went to NY right in the middle of Irene. Crazy I know.
Now it's wednesday and I still haven' heard from her. I'm actually worried about her being in NY in the middle of an historical hurricane and being with her emotionally abusive ex-bf. I have the feeling I can't really call her (for fear of getting her into trouble) and I'm afraid that If I send her an email it could end up being read, or I could appear needy.
I know that the most likely best course of action is just waiting it out and trust her, but I can't help but be worried about her well being. I know she cares a lot for me, as I do for her. I just wish she'd stuck with her first plan of just waiting until the ex left.
What I think should be done:
I think I should just let it slide until he leaves and then re-evaluate if I really want to be with that girl. She's great to be around and all, but I'm not sure anymore about being with her after this. I can get the whole being stuck in the middle of a jealous ex (I prefer not to think violence was involved at some point, but it wouldn't surprise me sadly), but I feel like the butt of the joke here. I can't really call her because I don't know whether or not she'll be home when I do, but there is just no way that she stays home 100% of the time and can't call or text me once in a week. I'm genuinely worried about her, but I kinda feel like an AFC if I put up with this whole mess.
Any advice? Please be respectul.
Sorry for the wall of text.
CHAT