Both of you are really childish.

It was really shitty of your gf not to communicate how she was feeling about your relationship a long time ago. It was also pretty shitty of her to move out and not tell you until the last minute. On that note, you should have confronted the situation once you saw the signs. When she said I dont know if i want a relationship, that would have been the time to confront that calmly and break up. I dont know if it was your ego that made you not have some simple conversations. Girl says she signed a lease to move out suddenly, hold on...why would you even start this without talking to me...blah blah blah, call out the nonsense excuse and end it. Or, girl says later I dont know if i should be in a rs...break up. But you've been afraid to confront things. You put the blame on the friend. You didnt confront the changes or the move out. You didnt confront the statement. Instead, you ghost her, once you see she was gonna hurt you. I get it...you freeze her out lets you retain some control as she goes crazy. You dont have to hear her tell you its not you its me and get hurt. A break up didnt have to be like this on both sides. Both of you really suck at communicating like adults.

Whatever your value is, whether you make a lot of money, or you're badass PUA alpha, no one has an obligation to stay with you. People want different things, and its a trend on this forum for guys to take a girl not wanting to be with them way too personal. Not everyone wants a lamborgini, some people want an SUV, or a beetle, or an economical car. A lamborgini salesman doesnt feel hurt that someone chooses a station wagon over his car, he realizes people have different needs and not everyone is going to want a lambo. He doesnt think Lambos are shit when someone passes them up for something else. Dont take her prepping to break up personally. I have exes who are happier with new bfs and I'm genuinely happy for them. Doesnt mean the new guy is better than I am in some way or has more "value," maybe he likes going concerts more than I did, maybe he is better at the family stuff they wanted. My self worth isnt attached to someone picking another option.

That being said, she handled it poorly with respect to communicating where her head was at. Maybe she's a selfish bitch, maybe she didnt want to hurt you, maybe she didnt know herself. But regardless, she should have communicated with you, and you should have as well. Instead of looking for a girl who lifts, maybe look for a girl who communicates? Maybe look at how you've communicated in this relationship and do better. Maybe thats why it happened like this. How did you communicate in this relationship? From what I see, its been ego based, quick to deny, and ignore. Maybe this is why it went down like this. Maybe if she had been honest and told you her feelings were changing months ago, you'd have gone into we're over mode instead of listening and deciding from there. The failure here isnt that the rs ended; rs end, people change and realize they want different things, no big deal...the failure here is that the communication was so poor.

Sorry about your pain Bro, but I laughed so hard I sharted a little!

Men = Logic. Try to fix everything. It's not working, but damn Bro you sure keep at it.

Women = Emotion. Feed on drama like a grizzly eating a salmon. I bet her pussy was so wet after calling the cops, she had to change.

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

like said, you made your impact first, now she fucked up. She did no expect that you d kick her ass. It was nice bro. Your next step should be stick with no contact till she begs. But if i were you, wouldnt accept her bitchy behaviours.
Well done.

_________________
Carpe Diem, Dolce Vita...

Psychal power comes through Mental strenght.

This pretty much nails this post and every other guy thinking he is in a "special" situation when it comes to a break. Like we've already stated OP. We've seen this exact same thing before; slightly different variables, but the emotions motivating the action are the exact same emotions we've seen on this forum hundreds of thousands of times before. And the emotions are the only thing thats relevant to her when making the decision.

As a man you're thinking about this from a perspective of "time" - its only been two weeks since the signs started. Time is LOGICAL, it doesn't matter if its only been 2 days. In the world of emotional whats felt no matter how long its felt is all that matter. Even though its been much more than two weeks. Its just only been two weeks since the OBVIOUS signs have shown. The less obvious hints are there often months before.

The best thing for you to have done was to take my advice about calling her and ending things from your own position of understanding and maturity. Not only would she have been begging for another chance, but you would have also been in a frame of mind to attract someone of higher quality very shortly. Now you'll have to experience some pain, hurt, and confusion. You'll have to rebuild. But on the bright side, you'll be able to rebuild yourself into someone thats better than you were.

There is no special situation OP. You're reading all of this material from all of these different guys, you're asking dozens of people on the forum. And its all the same shit. There is no MAGIC PILL. It doesn't exist. Once you start thinking the normal rules don't apply to you, that you're a special case, that you're experiencing something no one else has thats when you lose.

Nothing about your behavior is showing that you have the strength to go cold turkey and completely leave the girl alone but that is the best thing for you. You don't need to read another article, you don't need to make another post, and you don't need to do another google search. Just LEAVE THE GIRL ALONE COMPLETELY. She texts don't answer, she calls don't answer, she comes knocking DON'T ANSWER. Its going to hurt. A huge wave of emotion is going to come and your mind is going to trying to rationalize a good excuse for why you should talk to her but ignore it. The mind can be your best friend or your worst enemy when you're faced with intense emotion. Just because something "feels" like a good idea doesn't mean it actually is. Thats what women do. They do it if it feels right. So when you feel like contacting her because its getting tough not to, and you've thought of a good reason for why you have to talk to her IGNORE IT.

I know its a waste telling you that because you're not going to listen, but that is what you have to do if you want the long term benefits from the growth you'll experience over the temporary satisfaction of being there when she comes. She'll never respect you if you take her back. She moved first, and you took no stance, you showed no back bone and that is when it was official to her in her mind that she needed someone else. That was the last card you could've play. The card to challenge her and declare that the relationship can't continue under these cirucumstances. But you waited for her to make a decision. You didn't lead. Its Game Over bro. Take your ball and go home. You'll live to play another day.

_________________
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This is the best thread ever, it's like reading the funnies while I take a shit.

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

Reasonable solution, OP take heed of the advice.

Thanks Eddie Fews.

She sent a long ass message today. So after reading the following I take it no contact is the best way right?

Eddie is right. I have a sensational urge to talk to her and be around her. She was my best friend and lover who I had no issues with. I wanted to drive over her place tonight but I didn't. There's no way she would even speak to someone rationally and would lead to fighting:

HER TEXT:

I was in a terrible state last night, I had to call the doctor because I thought I was having an asthma attack but it was an anxiety attack.
You scared the shit out of me last night.
There has been a group of men hanging around near the parking spaces where I live. I actually turned back and went back to the shops last weekend to avoid them, when I came back again they had gone.
When standing out the back I've heard a couple of lads getting sick the other night so as you can tell I am weary of where I live.
Because you wouldn't text or answer the phone to me I was worried about you so didn't expect you at the door.
When you were wrapping at the door it took me by surprise and when I went to the door I couldn't see anyone through the peep hole. You knocked again and I shouted who is it, what do you want and no answer. At this stage I was agitated and phoned the police. They said they would call around because when I was on the phone they heard you banging and I was crying.
Then you text me and I grabbed the bag from outside.
You know what state I was in last night, you got my voice messages and my texts.
I was on my own and scared and I had an anxiety attack which is why I was ringing you but in the end I had to call someone else.
They way I see it now is that I really don't know you.
I would never do that to someone, and I was really shocked that you would; you were the cause of my anxiety and you didn't have the decency to pick up the phone to me after you worked me into a state for the whole night.
This could have all been avoided had you not acted like you have been by not answering the phone or texting back. All you had to do was call me last night and tell me you had just dropped my stuff off instead of scaring me half to death.
I don't think there is anything else that can be said so good luck with your life and you won't be hearing from me again.


------

I know this isn't a special situation. I'm on board with you guys.

But that is the last thing she said. She knows I give a shit because I've helped her through so much and constantly.

There are a few different things here going on:

1. Your no contact thing was a way to get her to respond emotionally to your absence. No contact strategies to make a woman respond is like rolling dice when you absolutely don't know where they really stand with you and your current situation. Also, it is a pretty weak because not once did you make a stand for yourself and then break contact. How hard would it have been to tell her that people living together and in a relationship would consult each other before making major decisions? You went to see a movie and had sex and cut contact.

2. She is now trying to manipulate you into being the bad guy in all of this. She is able to justify her actions because of your actions. She is telling everyone what you've done so all the friends and family know what kind of guy you really are and gathering her supporters. She is playing the victim like she's done in her other relationships(see her pattern?). This, like before, is because you didn't make a stand for yourself.

Agree with her that it's time to move on and seriously move on. I'm not trying to be harsh but the sooner you realize that she is revealing who she really is, the easier it will be for you to let go.

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mpuaforum.proboards.com

You have to be kidding me if thats a serious question.

No one gives two shits about anything she tries to play on your emotions with to try manipulate you and win your attention back. We have ALL had it happen to us. She'll play every card. We don't care.

You don't have to post her emails, her text messages or tell us that she called. We don't care and you shouldn't either. You're situation is not special and the advice is all the same. IGNORE HER NO MATTER WHAT SHE DOES. Whats so hard to get about that?

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Need Coaching? For 1 on 1 Coaching via SPAM, Phone or Instant Messenger - Email: EddieFews@Gmail.com

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It doesn't matter what she's selling to you. Nobody is manipulated, they allow themselves to be manipulated. Deep inside there's a kernel of doubt towards the other person's intentions, go with that. You're allowing yourself to be strung-along, settling for whatever scraps she throws your way - so long as its attention she's giving you ('good' or 'bad') its still serving a function of stroking your attachment needs, while at the same time keeping you in harms way. This is your decision.

If you seriously think your situation is somehow unique, you've deluded yourself. Snap out of it.

Op, what she is doing, emotionaly manipulatiob for getting your attention back. All chicks doing that, when they get left. It is only the beginning. Try to stay unaffected by her manipulations. Trust me she will come back more and more. But think about from otherside, how could you have a relationship with someone who u cannottrust. Your ex should be max your FWB after that pooint. Your situation is not unique. So you ended the relationship, she is infront of your door, either u ll open the door or not, she deserved nothing. Do not let her fuck you up again. Stay Sharp Bro.

_________________
Carpe Diem, Dolce Vita...

Psychal power comes through Mental strenght.

DO NOT BECOME FWBs

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mpuaforum.proboards.com

What did you guys fight about? Be honest please

Just be prepared for his next post that says:

"She called again and I picked up. I know know shouldn't have. Here's what she said "..." What do I do now? Do I go back to no contact?"

_________________
Need Coaching? For 1 on 1 Coaching via SPAM, Phone or Instant Messenger - Email: EddieFews@Gmail.com

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I'm beginning to have another view on this. Shit is fishy and not adding up. I can see this being a girl who fell out of love, was selfish and is now manipulative to ease her conscience after leaving. But looking deeper, I have to ask, why would a chick change her passwords and bank stuff before a break up? This means she'd assume you'd do something and that you'd pry after she left. That tells me you're that type, added to the fact that you even found out she had changed the passwords (thats not something you'd just stumble across without snooping). Yeah, you checked her shit, you have a history of doing this. So she takes actions that would suggest you're controlling, and wont take a break up peacefully. Which with the denial of the situation on your part, failure to ask relevant questions, I'm inclined to believe.

I mean, what if she had done it the rght way,ie a few months ago just told you she doesn't know what she wanted. Lets be real, you'd kick her out. You'd check those emails. You won't TALK about it or try to understand, as evidenced when she finally DID tell you she didnt know how she felt (not breaking up with you) you froze her out, dropped her shit off. Can I really blame a girl whose bf cant accept that she's not feeling the same? Can I blame a girl for changing her passwords when her bf snoops? Can I blame her for giving 2 days notice when you'd freeze her out and say "you broke up with me..leave" if she DID give notice?

One thing that also stand out to me are you said that your fights had become less and less. Not something you can say if things were as great as stated even before it changed. So there was a good degree of fighting. Were these fights you, or her?

My words may be harsh but just an honest opinion. Could very well be a chick who left in a manipulative, fucked up way. Could very well be she's sucking a dick now. But could also be a chick who had to leave like this because her bf couldnt be honest about the relationship, would snoop through her shit and would kick her out the moment she said she was unsure. All I know is that if a bf checks emails, would want her to cry for the makeup sex and cant communicate maturely, a girl is bound to run. And if a girl leaves like this with 2 days notice, and has to change passwords, there is something you've shown her to make her that paranoid. Even a shitty gf would just leave but not worry you'd be checking emails. That says that some of this, stems from your actions and you need to be honest with yourself if you dont want to have it happen like this again with someone else.