Damn Neo!

Thank you for the reality check. Sometimes I can't see the forest thru the trees.

The you explain it, by looking at me thru her eyes' I failed her by not being rock solid when she needed me to be.

Yes, I messed up big time when the going got tough. I let her down when I should have been the rock she needed.

Fuck if it isn't hard to say it probably is over. I think she is. Good therapist but she probably realizes that. Since I'm so "emotional" maybe she is letting ne down slow and easy.
Kudos for her if she is. I pretty much know in my heart we are done...

Thanks neo!

No problem. The only thing you can do now is not initiate text, but you can bait her thinking positively about you. For eg, instead of if she asks, "How are you over" over text, wait a few hours and text back ," had the craziest night/day." She may go either way at this point and this would be a way to start new. Honestly, if it were me, I would suggest starting over. I know you've tried to tell her your feelings, but I don't mean in that way, and you may have already tried talking to her so much that saying start over may seem like you cant give her space still. If you are able to talk to her , just say CASUALLY,"I think things got crazy, but I enjoy being with you and f'd up. Let's start over and go slower. I think we got into things too fast. Hi, I'm Gomike" If she agrees, then keep things casual and flirty as if you started dating. This way you show you can take a step back.

Key to the above is CASUAL. The vibe shouldn't be "I really want to be with you and I'm saying this to get another chance." But, "Hey, i messed up and I can learn from my mistakes" If you dont believe this, it wont work.

That is good advice neo, I appreciate that for sure. That is what I tried to do over the past few texts to her...

What is weird is that I "slipped" again and sent her this at 9:30 this morning:

I miss you...
Just so you know...

Right after I sent it I thought to myself: "Fuck Mike, you just won't ever grow some nuts and get a clue will you...Can't you learn even a simple lesson?"

No reply from her so I was thinking, "Well, at least I'm calling it to the end anyway. I mean, if she is the slightest bit interested, I'll probably hear something back, and if not, I'm ready to realize it's over".

At 1:45pm she texts back:

"I'll be ready to hang out when I feel better.
I feel worse today. My sister has strep so I
hope I don't catch it because I don't have health insurance!
Slept 12 hours in the last 2 nights. I wouldn't want u to catch this."

Neo, I feel a lot better. I like your idea about the "starting over" thing. Even if it isn't "agreed" by talking about it, that doesn't mean I can't do it anyway.

I'm glad that so far I haven't done any hard-core game playing like freezing her out, or prolonged no contact because damn if she hasn't been super sick these past few days.

Anyway, I'll keep us updated.

why do you keep texting her gay shit like that? im going through a lot worse than you me and my girl were living together for 6 months and planning to have a baby and she ups and leaves on me.. and im hanging strong during NC.

Lol. gomike, I think you don't need any more miss you texts to her. Try this:
Steps to keep from texting someone:

If you have android or iphone, download a text app that allows you to hide incoming messages from certain people. Then add her number to the list so you you can't see her messages until after Monday when you put the code in. If you have a good friend, ask them to put in the code so that you can't unlock it yourself.

Delete her number and all incoming/outgoing calls/text messages. So you can't contact her. Until she does first but you'll just jump on it when she does so you may need to do the first thing.

Turn your phone off for the weekend. No one is going to die or have some serious emergency. Take a phone vacation. Let the phone die and just leave it off.

Make yourself a promise. If you contact her in any way, give a friend $100. Or rip $100. You can do more depending on your income. These steps will help you with self control. I would just turn my phone off and do other things

Its so funny because you contact a woman who needs space more than I contact either one of my gfs(I have 2 right now)

Considering some of your posts in your topic, you don't really have much right to call someone out on "gay shit."

See neo how f'ing blind I am?

Here it looks like she might be relaxing about me a touch and, based on how you explain it to me, I'm still way too much.

Maybe I feel bad that she is sick, but I know honestly it's that i can't seem to not contact her...

do you really think no contact is the best thing here now that she is chatting me up a little bit here and there?

Honestly, I'm scared to go no contact...I have no idea why?

The whole "no contact" thing is something I've never done like say, bungee jumping, which would also scare the shit outta me! haha!

Anyway, i'm still working on listening here...

A simple "Hope you feel better and let me know if you need anything" would work. It's nice and you're saying youre there if she needs something but not like you're trying to push your way back. If you're text is more than 10 words you're doing something wrong. I'm sure by now you've texted something worse or driven over there with flowers and a teddy bear by now lol.
She's trying to be apart but still text you, but that's only gonna make you jump in an push her away.

Damn neo... you are f'ing funny man! I laughed my ass off reading your post!

how the hell did you know i texted over 20 words? haha!

Actually it wasn't too bad.

It was basically, "sorry to hear you and Charlene (her sister) are still sick, let me know if there is something I can do for you, I'd love to talk more, but why don't you set the pace as to what is comfortable for you.

So hopefully not too bad...

At least i'm not super texting like i was doing! Damn, I look back on that and just go WTF? was I doing?...

I do have the teddy bear and the flowers in the trunk on my car ready to go though... haha! (NOT)

The only thing wrong with that text is "I'd love to talk more, but why don't you set the pace."

Just kinda sounds like you will settle for anything, as long as it's something. Seems a bit needy and desperate to me.

That is a good point Rough...

I didn't think of it that way but yes, it could come off like that for sure.

Obviously I meant it like; "Hey, I'm not pushing you to get back to me, just whenever is cool"

In fact, that's probably what I should have said instead...

Well, like i mentioned before, at least I'm not bombing her phone with texts, i'm not emailing her anything, and i'm not calling her on the phone... just what you see here is all I'm doing, but even that is a lot possibly.

I really hope other guys who did what i did read this f'ing thing and reel themselves in before it gets too late.

Me? I think i'm lucky to have gotten this far. Damn, back 4 days ago I think it was Chinopants said: "You have the right to ask her for nothing!"

You guys are wise dudes man... I'm learning more everyday...

Lol gomike. Just keep relaxing. Also, try to use less words. Trust me on this.

"sorry to hear you and Charlene (her sister) are still sick, let me know if there is something I can do for you, I'd love to talk more, but why don't you set the pace as to what is comfortable for you."
could've been said simly as "That sucks, I'm busy with work (or whatever)but don't be shy if you need something"

You don't want to get her back WHILE giving space. You want to give space and when she comes back, that's when you can discuss stuff.

Picture this, she was thinking, "I just need some space, Mike is overwhealming me and the drama lately, I just need some time for myself. I'll let him know I'm still sick and what's going on."
Then you text the message that you did and she reads it and thinks "why is he still mentioning US. I don;t need to think abt us right now. I feel smothered."

as opposed to if you texted her my version, "Aww...he's still there for me and doing his own tyhing too and enjoying his life...maybe we CAN work. I'll see how this goes..."

okay, cool neo, that makes sense in not addressing my needs at all, especially when giving her the "space" right now.

I am waaaaay more relaxed now, especially when i know it was more than over for me for sure. you can't have what isn't there, and in this case it was her that was almost all but gone...

Obviously I won't text her anymore tonight, but I was wondering if I should send the "good night" text?

Still kinda puzzled by that one...

I do like the train of thought that would be created by using your text idea... I'll try to think more along those lines.

"if I suddenly flip to no contact whatsoever it will look like I'm "pouting" or being a little bitch about it.
".
No. She has stated multiple times she wants her space. Didn't you notice how when you stop talking to her her texts to you seem more enthusiastic? So many things wrong on this thread but since I'm coming late to the show I'll just wait a bit until you post some more info

Oh and I would suggest not to send her a goodnight text. Just leave it alone man. Don't compromise (like someone else said) by just texting her once in a while. You were trying to text her minimally, but you "slipped" this morning which seems creepy as hell especially when she has responded to those kind of texts multiple times by saying something along the lines of "Wow now I need more time alone", etc.