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For years I'd heard her gripe about how only ugly guys hit on her, and how fed-up she was of not being approached by 'good looking' men. She'd often disavow the entire city, saying "there are no good looking guys here! I want to move to LA!". We actually met online, she wanted to date but for me she was too passive (I like my women feisty w some backbone). I digress. My point is day after day she found fault in the environment around her, never once looking at herself and taking accountability - it was the same narrative all the time and although she's a very sweet and attractive girl, she was putting this standoffish vibe out to the world around her. She has a Kim Kardashian-like face but would often go about her day with a blank look of indifference - not very welcoming, and perhaps intimidating to some men.
In addition she was around 27 at the time but dressed like a 20 year old yet the demographic of guy she'd wanted were more interested in sophisticated women; the way she carried herself in combination to her fashion was incongruent with the type of men she was wanting in her life.
Myself, I like fit, petite girls with a lil spunk, vivacious types with grace. I know where to find these, or at least put myself in environments where the probability of running into them is higher. I also wear more fitted clothes because, well, I feel attractive to myself in them, and I know they took are typically looking for that in a partner too. Keep myself nicely manicured (never know when you'll cross paths) and generally hold open body language, smile and keep my head up so I don't miss an opportunity. Also, when I'm with friends I am laughing, having fun, and have a chill vibe about me which others take notice of.
Maybe its time you look at yourself. Good looking women can't sit on their laurels and expect the gallant Prince to come along and sweep them off their feet. Generally they'll get a lot of clinger/needy types, sugar daddys etc.. Maybe the answer is opening yourself more, so the guys you are attracted to will feel more inclined to talk to you.
Just a thought.
That was a really nice post... and touching in a way. Believe me when I say I dated ugly guys.. I really mean it. When I was introducing them to relatives, neighbours, family, friends, I was getting a pat on the back and a sympathetic look and was told " you can do better!". They didn't hint about it,... they were telling me.
I really don't know what you mean about opening myself more. If you define it I will listen to you carefully and take it on board.
P.S. Oh I like the environment I live, I love my job, I love my gym and my workouts, I can't wait until I have money to fix my computer to write music again, I like the friends that I have (they are like family) and I wish one day I'll be able to have a nice manicure like yours... because mine always wears off with so many showers a week.. and. :/ I can't afford gel manicure every month!
What I mean by opening yourself up is changing the frame of your interactions. Rather than sparking up a convo with somebody to 'win' them over, instead see it as an opportunity to meet your own needs for connection, for example. More self-gratifying as opposed to other-gratifying. It is self-full, not selfish.
I like engaging with people most days because it gives me a chance to use my humor and dry whit - things I enjoy doing. If the other person is laughing, hey, well great I just brought a bit of sunshine to someone else's day. Making them laugh isn't my objective, it's a byproduct of having opened myself...
CHAT
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