I will never understand why guys play like this with women.

Either:
a) she is interested and has long term intentions
or
b) not that interested and doesnt have long term intentions

If a), now she thinks oh, he's going on dates, guess its not that serious. I should go on dates.

If b) now she cares less that she was stringing you along.

And its just plain silly. You're seeing this girl for a while, taking her to weddings, fucking her raw...guess what...now as you state you're going on dates, get ready to be asked to wrap it up again. Girls, dont want to get rejected too. Its not like girls just think rejection is fun or no big deal. So now you push her into "i need to protect my feelings" mode, which just over complicates this situation.

You need healthy communication in a rs. And that starts BEFORE the relationship. This "I wont ask direct questions about behavior I'm seeing" thing, carries into the relationship if it happens to where now its weird for you to be direct. Dont get me wrong, I dont think this will end well and the ex bf stuff is red flag to me. But I just dont know why guys try to play these games with these chicks they dont even know where they stand with. Girls over think things. They have friends and articles telling them not to do this not to do that. Maybe one day you acted uninterested and she took that to mean she should cool down. Maybe she is dreaming about her ex and contacting him. Maybe she know she is moving in a couple months and doesnt know if she should tell you. Maybe a whole bunch of things. Why on earth do guys think that the answer to confusion is NOT communication, rather guessing games.

See the animal in his cage that you built
Are you sure what side you're on?
Better not look him too closely in the eye
Are you sure what side of the glass you are on?
See the safety of the life you have built
Everything where it belongs
Feel the hollowness inside of your heart
And it's all
Right where it belongs

What if everything around you
Isn't quite as it seems?
What if all the world you think you know
Is an elaborate dream?
And if you look at your reflection
Is it all you want it to be?
What if you could look right through the cracks?
Would you find yourself
Find yourself afraid to see?

What if all the world's inside of your head
Just creations of your own?
Your devils and your gods
All the living and the dead
And you're really all alone?
You can live in this illusion
You can choose to believe
You keep looking but you can't find the woods
While you're hiding in the trees

What if everything around you
Isn't quite as it seems?
What if all the world you used to know
Is an elaborate dream?
And if you look at your reflection
Is it all you want it to be?
What if you could look right through the cracks
Would you find yourself
Find yourself afraid to see?

N2: I'm confused by the nine inch nails reference?

I understand how it can be seen as playing a game but isn't it technically a form of communication in itself? Obviously not the best form of it but my intentions were not to play games. I brought up a theoretical situation so that we could communicate each other's thoughts on the matter. It's not like I asked for her opinion, she gave it and that was it end of convo. We actually talked for 15 mins on the subject, after giving her thoughts she asked for mine. I let her know I wasn't interested at all in going on a date with someone else and I'd rather spend more time with her as I liked doing that, she also made comment that she hadn't been going on dates with anyone else since we have been seeing each other. Btw I f'ed her raw two times after having that convo.

We had quite a few "deep conversations" as she called them over the last week. I commented on the fact that we hadn't texted as much, she agreed that we hadn't and said she's never really been a big texter, never was really into good morning or good night texts, yet she seems to send them to me quite frequently. (Distance was her reason for that)

During one of these convos she made a comment about her ex after which I asked if they still talked. She says they are civil and still talk to each other once in a while.

I'm not sure how it will end either, but she seems to still be quite interested as she's investing a lot as well. She drove over 250 miles in 3 days to see me/spend time with me. Hung out most of the weekend and she plans to come up on Wednesday this week.

I hope you realize you're treating this relationship more seriously that called for.

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

You're right, we're not in an official relationship and I'm trying to analyze every single detail. I just need to sit back enjoy the ride and not worry as much.

Just let it ride Bro. Have fun, bang her like a screen door in a wind storm. Leave space for other options.

_________________
They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

She flaked on me Wednesday night, and had pretty much denied me too hangout any day this weekend, said maybe she would come up this week though.

She turned off like a switch? And I don't know why? I'd like to know wtf I did wrong or why she's acting differently.

I guess I got my answer, time to eject and move on?

Let me edit that last sentence for you:
I guess I got my answer, time to eject and move on.

_________________
mpuaforum.proboards.com

The 'relationship' supernova'd for her.

If a girl truly likes you she'll MAKE time for you no matter what. She's putting up clear signals that its over.

Eject, out of respect for yourself.


The NIN song refers to how we create our own illusions and live by them. Very powerful song.

I did bring closure to this, she initiated text the other day, we talked blah blah, I asked what her plans were last night, she had none. I invited her to come up and she agreed, but ended up flaking at the last minute.

I questioned what her intentions were, she said she likes hanging out with me, enjoys the fun we have together and really likes me but she wasnt ready for things to get serious and she knew I wanted serious, she thought that wasn't fair to me. when we first started hanging out she thought she was ready to be serious but recently things changed. I could tell things changed but failed to realize it.

Also explained she was recently in a long term relationship and she felt she needed to be single for awhile and thought I should go on that date I asked her about.

Long story short she's young (21) just got out of a LTR, wasn't ready for something serious not with me atleast and probably wants to explore/bang other dudes.

I really think I let my insecurities get the best of me, she is the most good looking girl I've been with and I felt that without that gf title she wouldn't stick around. That's probably about the point she started backing off.

I do appreciate the responses and conversation,anywy, I'm over it and I'm going to take this as a chance to better improve myself and start re-investing in me again.

Everything other than this is largely you making excuses for yourself/her.

It's irrelevant that she was in a LTR before.
It's irrelevant that she's young.

Because even though those things may have added to the cause, 95% of it was what I quoted above.

However, congratulations on having the balls to admit it. Not to us, but to yourself. Keep that attitude up and you'll do real good real quick.

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

I haven't read the entire thread by the way.. Just responding to the original post.


My first question is now that you're so aware that you've completely fallen off from who you used to be what have you done about it?

This is another one of the other thousand stories on the forum just like this. Overthinking is definitely playing its part but what you're beginning to feel is a shift in the attraction. Your alarms are beginning to ring, but this can be corrected if you get your head out of your ass, boss up, and get back to focusing on you and your own improvement. There has to be some level of detachment on part of the male. The moment the girl becomes more important that your dreams, goals, and daily routine you will be looking at a relationship that may have a 3-6 month life span at the most. Incredibly common btw.

Edit:

Just read your last post. Just move on man. Its not that she wasn't looking to get serious as it is that she wasn't looking for a guy that was that much more serious about her than she was about him. Had you been a bit more focused on yourself she'd be the one pressuring you to entire a relationship despite what she thought she wanted.

Take the life lesson, the good memories and use them to grow. You're only 21.. And i know that means nothing to do right now because all you know is your current reality, but trust me when I say that this girl won't matter in a year. You'll feel down for a bit, may not get the attention you want, but eventually it'll all fade and you'll build back up into someone stronger than you were before all of this.

_________________
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You're right I did lose focus on myself. The problem is I would always ask her if she had plans for the weekend, she would generally say no and because of that I would almost feel obligated to hang out with her. Those insecurities would come up and I felt if I didn't hang out with her she would go out and find someone else. Stupid I know.

I really screwed up last week when she flaked on me the first time, I got pushy and needy and again felt if I didn't see her I would lose her. I need to figure out where this is coming from and fix it as it seems to be a reoccurring problem with myself and women.

I've accepted the fact that it's over, moving on is going to be the tough part. Especially considering she is still down to hanging out and is open to sexting

I am going to learn from this though and work on my inner game as confidence seems to be a key player with my insecurities. If there's any readings or books anyone can recommend I'm open, I've been doing some searching here on the forums.

check these threads.

pua-lounge/topic190620.html

posting.php?mode=reply&f=1&t=197547

approaching-and-opening/topic190187.html

_________________
Need Coaching? For 1 on 1 Coaching via SPAM, Phone or Instant Messenger - Email: EddieFews@Gmail.com

Show Support, Buy The Book: 'The Secret Laws Of Social Wisdom - Click Here

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