It was an interesting read.....

So what happened at the end?

To be honest...I don't really know.

After she sent me the "We need to talk" text. I was really tempted to reply with, "No we don't. It's over."

But like I said before, I was really curious. I also needed to get my shit from her place. So I went over there to talk to her. It was a long conversation, but the basic gist of it:

Her: I feel really bad. I've got so many things going on right now...blah blah blah...I don't know what to do. I don't think it's fair for you.
*To me, this sounded a lot like, "I need a break, but I don't want to say it, so I'm going to make you do it."*
Me: So what do you want to do?
Her: I don't know what to do.
Me: Well, the "We need to talk" text means the same thing in every language. You're right. You have a lot of things to take care of. I think we should take a break so you can focus on fixing your shit.
*She starts crying*

For the record, zmbcm1, I took your words into account and I agree. But she was so damn cute just sitting there, I couldn't just straight break up with her.

Here's the thing...her life really IS a disaster right now. I won't go into all of the details, but her family is falling apart, baby daddy issues are getting really complicated (she's still married to him), tension with her roommate, and a few other things. As she explained some of the things that happened last week, I started feeling really sorry for her. At the same time, a lot of these issues are self-inflicted. At this point, I switched my attitude from "confused boyfriend" to "friend mode."

I should mention here that I've always been attracted to "broken" girls. This has a lot to do with my past. She is no different...lots of broken in this broad.

Her: I just don't want to burden you with all my problems.
Me: (paraphrased) I'm my own man. I pick and choose what will burden me. But you don't understand that you could have always used my shoulder to cry on. When you keep me completely in the dark, I don't know what to think.
*More tears*
Me: You have to realize that you can't fix everything. I know you want to help other people, but you have to get your own shit taken care of before you start thinking of other people. That means taking care of yourself and your daughter before trying to save everyone else.
*I was referring to a couple people in particular*

I lightened things up after that, and we just chilled and talked about some dumb shit for awhile. She asked if we were still good. I didn't really know what she meant, so I said, "I'm always good." I took her back home, and we hugged it out. As she was leaving I said with a smirk, "Call me when you're horny. You know I can take of that." She laughed and went inside.

...and after all of that, I forgot to grab my stuff...

I did send her a text late last night...it had nothing to do with us. There's some crazy shit going on in her hometown, and I just asked if her family was safe. She answered.

So I figure I'll hit her up in a few days for a booty call and see what happens.



Lol...it would have been a lot easier if she had fucked 10 dudes and spit in my face. Anger is an easier emotion for me. As of right now, I'm pretty much over it. I can let her go without it hurting. I may have caused myself some unneeded grief, but hey, live and learn.

I think my biggest problem is that I don't have any really close friends...aka, people I can talk to on a serious level. When I find a girl that I can actually open up to, I expect her to be my best friend as well...probably not the smartest thing.

OP, it sucks you had to go through that but I guess there's always some good to take away from it. I was in the same boat as you as I wanted more conversation initiated by the girl because I felt that I was the one initiating all the contact, even though she was always willing to meet up.

That being said, Betamax brought up a good point which I would like him to elaborate on if he could:
How do you avoid setting up this precedent early on in the relationship? There was some mention of a 1:1 contact ratio, then later an acceptable 3:1 ratio when you're in a relationship.

Thanks,

K

_________________
In a world of compromise, some men don't.

To avoid setting up such a precedent, you need to set yourself some rules the moment you meet an HB. Such as these:

BY ORDER OF PRIORITY:
1) Never send more than one text at a time unless they're consecutive texts. By consecutive texts I mean something like four texts within a one minute span. If she doesn't answer your text, the ball's in her court to respond. Exception to this rule is if you send a text killer (e.g. "k" "alright"). Although if you have decent texting game, you should know to never send text killers. Instead, don't respond until you have something clever, witty, and/or funny to say.
2) If you're the first to go to bed, then ball's in your court to be the next to initiate the next day or whenever and vice versa. This is because if a couple connects tremendously, any girl will want to stay up hours past her bed time to talk to you.
3) After a date, whoever called it quits first is responsible for initiating next. Again, if a couple connects tremendously, any girl will want to stay out as late as possible.
4) Whoever was the least social between the two during the last conversation is responsible for initiating next.
5) Did something just really exciting or urgent just happen? Then it's okay to break the above rules and be the first to initiate.

Apply these rules by using your judgement and you won't get caught being the first to initiate constantly.

OP you sound like a needy little shit and the fact that you have already cheated on her and she has no idea is just shocking. The way you say you'll go see her in a couple of days for a booty call shows just what an immature jerk you are. You know damn well she would dump you if she knew you'd slept with someone else so quickly and so easily. In fact she'd be deeply hurt by it and would probably never trust another guy ever again.

Why can't you morons just keep it in your pants? Just because you (OP) were in 'a mood' with her because you always have to initiate contact doesn't mean you have to go fuck someone else you LOSER. I would love to see your face if she unexpectedly blurted out that she had fucked another guy and cheated on you. I bet you'd hate her for it and go mental.

The worst thing guys can do to women is cheat on them and you all know that so what do you do? Cheat on them. I somehow doubt she'd ever do that to you because she sounds like a lovely girl while you sound like an entitled, poor me poor me little fucking shit. How you can sit there while she's crying about all the awful things happening in her life and not feel an ounce of guilt that you cheated on her is beyond me. I hope she dumps you because you 100% deserve it.

Digital_Spy is obviously a victim of infidelity.

Here is a history lesson for you, Digital_Spy. We are the product of alpha men. Our beta ancestors perished in the gene pool. As for women, they evolved to carefully select their men. Women who wisely chose men that would help protect both their offspring and the women themselves were just as successful as alpha men in passing on their genes. It appears you have trouble selecting your men. So I'd advise you to pick up a Cosmo magazine to educate yourself on selection. And once that's done, get back in the kitchen where you belong.

I'm still not sure if Digital_Spy is a pissed off chick, or a white knight omega completely beyond help...

This reads like a disaster... So now she's married and a trauma survivor too?
Every time you tell us more about her, I'm more worried about what you'll tell us next.
You really should stop trying to be just friends/FBs with this chick. Until your feelings for her are gone with the wind (and I assure you right now, they are not), you should not be around her or even talking to her because you won't get over her until she's out of your life.

Lol, I like fucked up girls. What can I say?

Well, final update...hopefully:
I hit her up a few days ago. We agreed to meet up last night. I finally got some clear answers out of all this. While I was depressed at home, she had been going out. Long story short, I told her I have to stop seeing her. Then I fucked her to remind her of what she's losing, and went home.

She's not worth all this shit. I've got a couple other girls just dying to get some, so I think I'll do that for awhile.

The end.