wow just as i was thinking about breaking up with her she send me the following:

"Hey maybe im leaving here around 9 or 10 i don't know if you still want to talk?"

plot twist!

So i guess im talking to her tonight...

GF: "Hey maybe im leaving here around 9 or 10 i don't know if you still want to talk?"
Me: Yes
GF: Yea you don't have to if you dont want otherwise ill stay...
Me: No we're gonna talk
GF: Ok


Im really in doubt now if i should listen to hobbit and make it all good or just dump her because im getting tired of this emotional rollercoaster

now you're going to talk to her. as an emotionally stable adult.
explain your view of the world. DO NOT accuse her. just explain your feelings.
LET HER explain hers. DO NOT jump on her. LISTEN.
then decide.
if there are chances to make up the whole mess, then make it up. set your frame, but don't let your huge ego blow in your face. be understanding. you're even allowed to be emotional this time. but of course, don't let her walk over you. set boundaries.
if you feel the whole thing has blown out of proportion, then initiate a mature break-up. which means, you don't shout at her "you dirty bitch whore..." but you say "I feel we might have too many issues to fix in this moment. the best thing for us is probably to take separate directions. I am sad about it, because I still care for you, but I am not sure this will work out given what we said". mean it if you say it. if you do it as a plot to get her to beg you, you might be disappointed.

_________________
nice guys don't get laid
"It's disrespectful not to bang them when they sleepover." (Hellhound)

See? You can do it if you really want to.
No need to make decisions before the actual meet-up. You will know what to do when you've listenned to each other.

Ask her what bothers her and tell her what bothers you. Be respectful with it. And expect the same from her. If she's not respectful in this case that's a complete BS and means she's either not willing to continue or is too immature for a serious relationship.

_________________
"Bros before hoes"

Relationship guide: extended-relationship-guide-vt170687.html

http://wayoftheplayer.com/become-a-player/instinct

Ok i just talked with her for like 2 hours or something and will give you guys some cliff notes:

-She acted mad on text so instead of beginning the talk with the problems i started with a fun conversation on a party she was at and if it was fun and what crazy things happened, this got her into a more fun mood and then i started talking

-Asked her about the weird & distant part
-Said i was a little distant sometimes when we met and she said the times it happened
-The times that happened she was late for our meeting everytime by 15 minutes + and i was a little pissed about that so thats why i acted distant, i explained this to her in a calm and nice way and told her that it wasn't my intention to be distant, she understood

-She told me that on SPAM she always says nice stuff and that i sometimes act like i want to ''end the conversation" i explained her that this is not true and also told her that in my opinion we talk a little too much on SPAM, i said that i love it whe n i get a message from her and that it always makes me smile but that it feels that we talk so much on SPAM that we have nothing to talk about in real life, she said "yea but i hardly see u" i said "then we will meet more"

And a little more things like this that aren't that interesting

When we were walking i think she shit tested me hard, she had a purse and said ''could you carry my purse?" i replied "you are very muscly, surely you have the power to carry it yourself!" (she always makes jokes about her non exsistant biceps)

So i didn't carry it, 30 minutes after that we were still walking and she again asked if i could hold it because she had to fix her pants/shirt whatever, this time i did hold it for like 10 seconds

Shit test passed?


Anyway guys, there is one disturbing thing i would like to share, there is this guy who i have been friends with for 7 years and he recently met my GF thanks to me and nothing weird or anything but a week ago i found out by reading the text conversation he and my GF had (She showed me herself) that everytime me and my GF have a fight he has been talking bad about me against her and basically trying to end it between us, he also made up some stupid lie about how im gay and how everyone thinks im gay, and he said this in a serious way not in a joke kinda way

So after reading this i didn't consider this a friend anymore (what friend would do that?) i didn't start a drama, i just deleted him from everything and didn't want to see him anymore.

My GF still keeps talking with him because they became friends, i told her that i am not judging her or that im mad at her, she should talk to whoever she wants, i just told her that i am not that happy about it because this guy "betrayed" me after 7 years of friendship and that he can't be trusted in my opinion, she said "yeah if u say it like that i totally understand"

Now here is the disturbing part:

My GF told me that he asked her to meet up 1 on 1 because he wanted to tell her some really bad thing i did in the past (but probally to tell all the bad things i ever did and get us to break up so he could have a chance to bang her, but whatever).

(the thing he wants to talk about is that 2 years ago i got into a real bad fight whilst drunk with an old friend and it was bad, but i told my GF about this already)

My GF said that she would meet up with him at first, but she told me she kept canceling and now they haven't talked for a week or something, she then asked me "do you think i should go?" and i told her

"I am not deciding for you it's your choice, but how would you feel if i met up with Laura (friend of her who talks about her back and blabla) and she would tell me all the bad things you ever did? How would you feel? Im not saying you shouldn't go, if this happened to me i would be curious as hell aswell! But if you don't trust that i told you the truth about this then i think we have trust issues aswell, either way, i won't get mad or judge you if you go, its your choice"

She told me she wouldn't go, but its quiet disturbing actually.



Anyway guys, after this everything is fine between us, we got really horny on the way back home but she had to leave as her mother kept calling her to come home, argh.

Thanks a lot for all the people that helped so much! Hobbit, pumpington,In$tinct, Tonyking and seagull-sfmv you guys are the best thanks a lot! Im pretty sure i forgot some people but these are the people whose names i know out of my head lol, thanks so much!

I think you've handled this farely well. And it's out of comparison how much better you handled this than you handled it previously. I'm proud of you. Learn from this and always always keep your cool head. If the girl gets in your head it's all gone. You've seen it yourself now. I wouldn't worry much about that "friend" thing either, however I feel sorry for you that a mate of 7 years backstabs you like that just for a pussy. Moreover it's your pussy. You did well on breaking all contacts and you did also well when you were talking about it with your girl. Just one thing if she suddenly starts acting weird and you haven't changed your behaviour I'd be damned if it's not the other guy brewing some shit. So keep that in mind, but don't worry about it until you should. Keep doing this kind of attitude, because I don't think you need my words to prove you that this is the good way to go. You've seen it yourself. I hope the best for you guys.

_________________
"Bros before hoes"

Relationship guide: extended-relationship-guide-vt170687.html

http://wayoftheplayer.com/become-a-player/instinct

Well done as it was not an easy situation at all.

Try saying no to her a lot more. Never be needy. Get totally rid on that idiot 'friend'.

Oh yeah. One more thing.

Nest time you fuck her, fuck her harder!

Whoever fucks them controls them.

What a thread... I'm glad we finished that

Well, this was interesting.

_________________
-Baddo

I read the first page of this thread and skipped the rest. Didn't need to read any further.

Due to the emasculation of men in today's society, and lack of male role models to teach us how to become mature masculine men, we have turned to women to teach us how to be men. As a result, we have become comfortable being defined by women and have come to seek the approval of women.

What that means is this: We, as men (or boys, rather), have given away almost all of our power to women. Instead of having a confident, self-assured mindset and approaching a relationship with "I'm a great guy, let's see if this girl is good enough for me," we approach relationships with "That girl is beautiful, if I'm lucky she'll think I'm good enough for her." And so we spend our time trying to prove ourselves to women, and not realizing that the women have fucking issues too where most of the time the ones we are dating AREN'T good enough for us. But, we fear women's disapproval so much, that we tolerate their shitty behavior and even end up apologizing for it, or blaming ourselves for it.

The bottom line is this: Your GF is insecure and needy, and obviously has jealously issues. As a man, you should never accept neurotic bullshit from a woman. Set your boundaries, and be willing to walk away. There are plenty of secure, confident women out there who won't go bat shit insane over a text smiley face. Have standards and integrity, and don't allow yourself to be treated that way, by anyone.

The post by Sidnee is about as good a post as I have seen in a long time on this forum.

Totally accurate.

Over the years we have been believing the opposite of what is the truth.

We have been standing on our heads and therefore making incorrect decisions completely in contrast with reality.

Time to get our heads off the floor and stand tall gentlemen before it's all too late.

We can do this and often times yes I know it's not easy but we can do it together as a team and others are doing the same around us on all the various forums.

The problem is there are not enough Men around and too many AFC's.

No girl really wants a fucking AFC! They do not want to have to lead, they cannot do it properly and therefore fuck it up.

Thank God for Mystery, Neil, Carlos et al.

+2

Total respect for your contribution on this thread.