In all honesty, when I was together with my ex, I wasn't interested in any other women whatsoever. I didn't think of them sexually and I wasn't curious in any way as to how it would feel to be single for just a second. I was happy the way things were.

But of course, she was my first love ever and everything I've just said could mean absolutely nothing due to the fact that it may all have been scarcity.

However, if this still IS relevant to your interest, I shall continue:

1) It all happened automatically. I felt weird because I noticed no other woman interested me. Almost a scary feeling.

2) My strong attachment to monogamy is most probably based on the way I was raised and made to believe things were supposed to be. Monogamy has always been my one and only way of having a relationship. Polygamous relationships have never made any sense to me and I could never imagine myself in one.

I'm disappointed at how slanted that article was. I was hoping to read more details on which areas of the brain lit up for men who scored low on that sexism questionnaire.

Aside from nurture, I'm actually more curious about what the nature is. I have no doubt that all the factors you listed (reading LRs, watching porn, etc.) amplifies the tendency of men to view multiple women in a sexual way, but do some men actually have the nature to reserve their feelings of lust just for their significant other? And, for those who have the nurture to overcome their nature of feeling lust for multiple women, do you think they're actually happy (provided that they were born with the full ability to feel sexual attraction, special conditions aside)?

Another question to the guys who actually felt sexually only about their significant other: what kind of nurture led you to feel this way? (details)

Also, to quote one of the greatest men to have ever lived:

- Johnny Depp

When i'm dating someone and it's serious, we're not bound by sex. We're bound by love.
I wouldn't mind her having sex with someone else(as long as it's just about sex).

But really that's not cheating since both parties have to agree.
It would be cheating if you go screw other chicks, knowing that your gf won't necessarily like that.

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I know, right?

but what does a relationship become if you aren't exclusive sexually?

a friendship? a friendship with benefits?

why go through all that goddamned work of living with someone in the first place?

let's face it, relationships are a pain-in-the-ass,

i don't have anything AT ALL against people who have open relationships or swing.

i'm libertarian, live and let live.

but, to me, it's kind of like ... what's the point? why go through any of the work, discussion, awkwardness, potential complications, to what end?

to live with a friend who you fuck? who fucks other people? while you are fucking other people?

to be honest, i've never met a woman that had such a magnetic personality and characteristics that i WANTED to be her friend and around her all the time. hell, the only reason i sign on exclusive is because "it's the thing to do". women are a pain-in-the-ass. all that work. the flowers, the emotional bullshit, the mental fucking telepathy, and you don't even own the pussy? pms? menopause? psychotic breaks every 28 days? what's the point of buying the cow if you are going to share the milk?seems backwards, idk.

i've got a much more SIMPLE way of doing that......

it's called:

BEING SINGLE AND DATING

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what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

I've been thinking about this topic for a long time.
I noticed that for the first three years in a relationship, I barely even look at other women, but then I usually do and are attracted to them, a lot. I've never cheated. I was often wondering if it was possible to have a relationship and be with other people, but I have to say not for me. The degree of involvement just wouldn't be the same. I can buy into the whole social conditioning thing, but still we're conditioned like that and it would take many generations of different conditioning to change that. Open relationships are fine, but as I said, I don't think the degree of involvement is the same. One of the posters mentioned he wanted to be happy for the girl if she met somebody she really liked and had sex with him. I was often wondering if I could do the same, would it be the ultimate unselfish and unconditional love and is it just our egos that prevent us from living like that. I still don't know. I've done a lot of self-work to diminish my ego as much as possible, but when it comes to this, I still couldn't handle that. I asked myself, if there was no reason to feel insecure about it, if there was theoretically no chance my GF would leave me for the other person, would it be ok? And it still wouldn't. It may be the love that binds us and not sex, but as Mack2.0 pointed out, romantic love is characterized by sex, without it, it's only friendship. I'm perfectly happy when a friend has a good lay, because the friend still loves me, it's the love that binds us, not sex. There is no way I could feel like that if it were my GF. Exclusive sexuality is what makes a romantic relationship special. It's a gift so to speak. You mutually give each other the one thing you share with no one else. Everything else is shared in non-romantic relationships, except for sex. If you sleep with other people you're basically just friends with benefits. It could be a great thing too, but again, the degree of involvement is just not the same. I sometimes think the whole romantic love is bullshit and we would all be better off if it were different, but it is what it is, especially if the nucleus of our society is family. Without sexual exclusivity, it wouldn't be possible. So this is the social conditioning we get, but if we're not living in some tribes, I don't see it can be any other way. Even if we were living in a tribe for example, where everybody can do everybody, it's still exclusive to a point, because members of the other tribe can't get in on the action Ok, I'm digressing now, but it actually is like that. For example, if we lived in extended families, tribe-like setting, everybody takes care of everybody's children, all men provide for the whole tribe, everybody shares sex. What binds them all together is love, trust, empathy, care and again exclusive sex within the group. Ok, enough of hypothetical tribal orgies.
Anyway, I prefer to be single for the moment and just date. Because I know when I'm with somebody, no more poontang on the side

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rAFC and yes, I'm a chick.

I have bursts of being a lady, but it doesn't last long.

I disagree with you regarding sex.
A lot of people have platonic love affairs with no sex whatsoever nor mere physical contacts. These people are not friends, they are lovers.

You don't love your friend in the same way you love your girlfriend.
I mean you can have a fuck buddy , does that make her your girlfriend? no.

just my 2 cents

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I know, right?

^^ Yes, but those people in platonic lover affairs do not share the sex with somebody else, they just don't have sex.

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rAFC and yes, I'm a chick.

I have bursts of being a lady, but it doesn't last long.

Go ahead and tell that to my girl so she can get over her fucking ex.

hehe true,
What I was trying to say is that physical contact don't make of people lovers or friends.

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I know, right?

not so. because whether they are having sex or not, they are engaging their "sexual" energy toward one another.

the longing is there. the hope is there. the fervent masturbation in the shower thinking about her hot, tight ass...IS THERE.

know what i'm sayin?

the fact still remains...

why would i want to buy the cow and either:

A. not get the milk

or

B. share the milk

why not just...don't...buy the cow?

or aka- be single and date

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what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

Honestly I've been the type to have cheated on every gf until my current one...yes a guy is naturally gonna wanna fuck every girl he's attracted to and I know I have and still do, the only difference inow is the self respect and the self awareness I have, but that's what makes us human, We have a choice to follow our impulses and reap the consequences or choose not to cheat which makes me personally many times happier...but I tell you this.much...

I was honest with my gf about my past and she helps with needs...she switches it up as much as possible, We role play so psychologically I feel like I'm cheating...I know so new age but it works for me...I think what I'm trying to say is that do what makes you happy, and I can honestly say my gf does which makes me not want to ever cheat...even though I want to I ask myself is having sex with another girl gonna make me happy.maybe momentarily but the guilt will show and two will this girl make me as happy as my gf..doubt it cause my gf relentlessly tries and I know it sounds like a bunch of hoopla but you have to at least respect her for it

and if at one point it doesn't work anymore well try another approach, be open minded and a little discipline will go a long way...it helps she won't get mad if I look...in fact she gets ideas on what I'm attracted to...nothing in life that is worth having is easy and staying faithful definitely isn't but maybe I'm willing to pay that price for happiness and fulfillment...its just me though

Wow that is a mindfuck. I'm impressed at your creativity.

Lol I don't if that's a goodthing...but I honestly like it, its fun to act a different way...even the sex is different...she loves it too and helps with keeping it fresh, I honestly hate routine sex it loses its sizzle...won't look at a cvs the same lol