I just learned from her facebook messages that on that night she hooked up with a guy and she wants to be with him.

A note to the story: What happened was that after she broke up with me in December I didn't really care. I felt like a trapped bird finally released from its cage. So I did spent 2 months hooking up with as many girls I could. I found that my ex was superior to all of them but one (that girls had a LTR tho, and she didn't wanna see me again). So that was the point I decided to get my ex back.

Do you guys think it would be a good idea to tell her that I know she had been cheating on me? Print out and show her the messages I know of? What effect woud that have on her??


If you have any more thoughts on these, please let me know, I really appriciate it guys and its helping me a lot!

if you want to be known as a creep and have your social status shot down and shat on, then go ahead, if you don't want that to happen, then don't. Just get over it dude, she's not worth it, you just have oneitis, it's not love! Just get the hell over it! I'm not being friendly or empathetic here because you're raising serious red flags in terms of you having a healthy relationship with another woman in the future, this is just obsessive, there is nothing more that you can or should do, just don't do anything, it's over.

Thank you very much for your help guys, all of you! I really appriciate it.

Every time I have doubts or feel like calling her I will re-read this thread and remove all the negative thoughts. It works as a therapy for me.

Here is what I will have to do no matter how fuckin hard it will be. And I know it will be the hardest thing ever:
-get over her
-stop checking her email and fb accounts
-fuck as many girls I can to get over her
-improve my game and actively read the forums
-get over her
-get over her
-get over her

I've been in a similar situation dude, except I found out during my relationship. Sounds like your on your way. Commit to your path, clean out the garbage inside and out. You'll be a better man for it in the end.

It was said to me a lot, time is a great healer and it will be

I wish you well.

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~ Life is for learning ~

Damn man, this is going to sound harsh as fuck but its you're fault. I know you have got ypur advice and coem to terms with it but this is for anyone else reading this.

'If you lose, don't lose the lesson'.
Take what you have learned and use it to your advantage. Take what this guy has learned and use it to your advantage. He has gone through this pain and shared it with us so you don't have to.

If you are ever inn a similar situation your best bet would have been to say yes lets just be friends but then don't speak to her. So you would have been sending mixed signals and mind fucked her to get her chasing you again switching roles as it had been previously.

Waiting outside her house was some seriously creepy stalker shit. No guy should ever do that. It seems like a good idea to us guys for some stupid lame ass reason but trust me it will never been interpreted the same way. Worst thing is now is that the chances are she will be telling a lot of her mates that you were a creepy stalker just so her friends agree with her and make her feel like she has done the right thing. There is no way back now so just break all contact completely because anything you do will just snowball into an even worse disaster.

She sounded as if she acted like a right cunt towards the end mind. But his actions are what triggered it.

As for proposals you only ever propose on a high point. never a low point as a way to make things better.

Wtf, its not his fault that his girl behaved like a cunt whore, maybe he could've done a few things different,and maybe his game could use some work, but in the end she's dishonest, and he isn't.

So whenever a woman behaves like a cunt, its the guys fault, "he triggered it" because by default women are perfect little angels right?.... Bullshit

wtf...really? pffft

I must agree with this. What triggered all this in the first place was that I was never comitted to this relationship (not even after 3-4 years). She wanted to have kids and shit one day and I wasn't comitted at all... so she slowly started looking somewhere else.

This thread is full of treasure and some of the greatest advice btw.

I've spent the last 2 months on improving my game and working out and now I'm really seeing some resoults thanks to you guys. I have more options now and a new HB 9.5 girlfriend so I think I'll open a new thread about her because she really is a tought one.

one could argue that "his actions" are what triggered it.

one could also argue that "her lack of integrity" are what triggered it.

i'll let someone at a much higher pay grade determine which is truer...

_________________
what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

I thought this was a troll at first because I couldn't believe you would keep going back after she kept making it clear she had no interest and was sleeping with other guys, BUT, I then read you use this is therapy so I don't believe it is a troll anymore.
The best advice I could give is to keep yourself busy. Sleeping with women is good, but how could you "compare" the new women you sleep with to your ex if you barely know the new women? You have to give women a chance to prove themselves. Unless you are sleeping with completely unattractive females, and then you need to step up your game man.
Improve yourself. If you aren't a member of a gym, join. Read things to improve yourself and continue to improve yourself. Do anything, EXCEPT, contact your ex! Good luck man!

its something you wont be able to tell unless you get both sides of the story

oh and OP, going through a GF's email and FB is pretty bad.

I realize that it is easy to say "forget about her, find someone else, etc.". However in your situation, it is damn hard to put this into practice. I had a simillar case 2 years ago. I think that first of all you should calm down a little (i know, it will be difficult:)). Then you should focus only on yourself. Go to parties, meet with other girls, enjoy your life. You have only 1 life(i know, it sounds a little bit corny;) ), and it would be sad to spend it on chasing this one person. You deserve something better.

And if you really want back, in my opinion, you should follow this very important rules:
-do not contact with her, don't call, text, etc.
-NEVER show outside that you are sad, stressed, down. Show that you can enjoy your life. Go to parties, meet with other woman.
-This one is really hard: treat her like a regular friend. Don't show any special attention. Be nice, polite, but that's all. Do not show that you are angry or frustrated (even if you really are:))

This might help. But if she cheated on you, i really think that you should forget about her.