Ok i understand that were doomed to fail but thats ok with me because were going off to college in september and wed break up anyway but for the time being i still want to be together with her..so what do you suggest I do? thanks guys

Ok, 2 sides of this man...

1. You sell out. If you wanna be with her soooo bad that you are willing to wait for her like a loser while she bangs whoever then you are weak and needy. Since you are doomed to fail anyway as you say you seem to cling to the fact that she likes you but in fact she wants you as a last resort if she dont find others. Back up plan. And Whore???? Why would you use that word? People having sex on the first night arent whores they just know not to get in their way of feeling good.

2. You are the man. This is the other side. If you wanna be with her and dont care if she sleeps with others because you know that they could not possibly be better than you, then it is a strong decision. If you have such a great connection that you can let her play for herself but be confident that she is yours, then you are indeed brave. Unfortunately in your case I think that you dont feel this way.

The thing about these things is that the woman is often in charge. She can have sex with a new guy every night if she wants to. You gotta know that your game is good enough to do this as well. Otherwise it will be a game of who slept with the greatest number of people.


I could imagine having an open relationship myself if I wasnt actually planning a future with the girl. If I would feel in charge. If I would ... So many ifs. Think about your reasons for considering this. Will you be happier for it or will you be destroyed by it?

Fuckbuddies is another way to go...

ok, couple questions/statements..she will definitely not be banging anyone, i know this and you guys can question me but i for sure know that she wont..does that change anything you said? and no, i dont want to do this but if i said no i thought i would be needy and seem jealous which isnt what i wanted to convey so i told her id think about it and well discuss it another time..and no our relationship isnt at its strong point right now, and yeah the thing is i am kind of unconfident when it comes to hooking up with other people besides her..i think next time she brings it up im gonna say something along the lines of its really slutty of you to ask this and im not going to be your backup plan while you hookup with other people..do you ok this or should I say something else? thanks

Eeer, that comment is not the best thing to say. Avoid the word slutty at all costs. Erase it from your vocabulary. We want them to be slutty remember, with us. It is such a negative word for something good.

Anyways, whats the point of having an open relationship if you dont wanna bang others???

shes a 17 year old girl, she isnt going to be banging other people she just wants to hook up and have fun and i know this for a fact..but if i do decide to have an open relationship during spring break i will definitely not hesitate to bang anyone..

So you are going for an one sided open relationship... Check.

so your saying that if she isnt fucking other people than we arent in an open relationship? it not 100% open because she wont be fucking anyone else, but that doesnt mean its not an open relationship because she will be hooking up with other people, just not fucking

This might be a good thing for your relationship:

True, it will hurt most couples, BUT:

I have an open relationship with my girlfriend. We love eachother and see eachother a lot. We have sex a lot, but we are both free to date other people if we want to. After a lot of trial and error with this, we came to the conclusion that it's best to not talk about what we do outside of our relationship unless the other person specifically asks. Likewise, we trust eachother to stay safe, use protection, not sleep with dirty people, and get tested if we are going to have unprotected sex. We are responsible toward eachother, and it's worked great for us

We get to keep ourselves sexually satisified and it doesn not take away from the love we have for eachother....however, we do have a long distance relationship (not too long, only 2 hours apart, but the point is that we dont see eachother every day) and this might be why it works....either way, it can work if you are both in agreement and understand that it's just for fun and sex with maybe some light play and emotion with another person, but that there the other person is NOT seeking another lover

trappinu: I believe that what Ezo may be trying to convey is that you can't have a 100% open relationship if one of you is seeing other people and the other person isn't. If you're going to see other people, you have to accept within your heart and soul that she is free to do the same. IF that bothers you, that's ok... just don't do it. Personally, I'm not one for open relationships. Whatever your style is...

And just in case you needed another opinion... the word "slutty" = bad news. Try it one time. I guarantee you'll literally see a switch flip in her head before the smoke starts coming out her ears.

So ultimately... good news and bad news, bro. Chillburg is right that your relationship as you know it is over. That ended the minute she mentioned seeing other people. The good news is that no matter what, this will be a learning experience. The even better news is that you have an opportunity for it to work out to your advantage. As long as you convey that you are high value and "in demand" AND that losing her is not going to break your heart, you are at least on equal footing with her if not holding the upper hand.

Get over the fact that she is not "yours" but also realize that YOU are not hers. Make sure she knows it, too. Say things like: It's fine with me, since we're headed off to college in the fall, anyway. But are you sure you'd be ok with me seeing other girls, as well? Because if we're going to have an open relationship, I don't want there to be any negative underlying feelings, and I don't want one of us to get hurt.

If you do go this route, realize that if she really is ok with an open relationship, you have to be ok with that, too. Otherwise, tell her: Sorry, this isn't something I'm ready for right now, and I think it would be better if we just broke up.

The way to come out of this on top is realizing that she's just a girl, and whether or not you ever see her again you still hold your head high. Because you're a high value guy, right?

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Live Your Truth.