you are posting alot lately on how it sucks and about open relationships.
you posting this much already is a flag for noticing a bad relationship, if you got a healthy relationship you don't post this much or you don't post at all.
first of all you are asking me what i should do ... i could joke about hooking up with her mom, or best friend daily and plain serious , but i would break contact and freeze out instead of lowering myself to her level..
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seriously? thats what you would do? she is 100% kidding around though
is she really kidding ? then why are you even posting this - if you really think she's joking, stop defending your illusions. you talk about she saying shit to you and you communicated to her in a proper way - we aren't talking about this problem we are talking about your relationship.
If she makes these jokes daily...do you really think she is joking ?
im going to give you a reality bitchslap... first of all you are completely disrespected by her and her actions - and you know it - sometimes it turns into love and sometimes it turns into hate but all those feelings are based on dissapointment.
2nd you don't know how to deal with it otherwise you wouldn't ask us for advice.
3th You are refusing to give up the relationship tho you know it sucks.
You are lying to yourself....deceiving
You don't even have a relationship ... stop talking like you have one because you don't - you just don't make jokes like this on daily base in a relationship. she is way too disrespectfull and she sounds way too immature YOU DON'T GOT A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP ! people who i pickup and fuck within a week would make these jokes - because we don't have a relationship ''yet''. in my opinion there is no such thing a ''unhealthy relationship '' you either got a relationship or you don't got a relationship, you either love someone or you hate someone - Decide and stop being undecisive.... Humans thrive at clear intentions
Lets start with you first !
you got serious issues and everybody got issues but you aren't aware of them, you are posting alot about the truth on how it sucks and so forth but at the same time you are defending your ''relationship''. your ego is at work here... everything about your ''relationship'' sounds bad ( what you told us until now), still you are defending it because you don't want to let go of the ''feeling'' it gives. You are holding on because you are in'' love'' with her and she doesn't loves you as much as you love her and it makes you angry.
Love is a personal defenition DO you really love her or are you afraid of losing what you got ? what do you got ? not much otherwise you wouldn't brag much about it, so what do you love ? you are just pissed of from what you're getting out of this relationship. EDIT: Honestly, WAKE UP. Your girlfriend talks about hooking up with your friends.
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You girlfriend talks about having an open relationship on spring break. Your girlfriend talks about hooking with your friends on spring break. You post about how the relationship sucks and lost its spark.
DUDE WAKE UP!
Waking up seeing the truth is not always hard , accepting the truth is harder. It's easier to deny who you really are instead of accepting yourself , same in relationships. If the candle isn't lon fire anymore and you don't have any matches you can't lit it again whatever you try, my advice is leave the candle and go to the supermarket to buy some matches. MEANING ; take a few steps back and invest into yourself so you can clearly see , clearly analyze and clearly decide. Even when you got new matches you can still decide to lit the candle again therefore taking distance or time isn't giving up.
Why would you cling on this relationship ? what does it give you ? until now i only seen post (of you) which were mainly created out of undecisiveness and frustration this merely reflect on how you stand in your relationship.
First advice Take a few steps back and let the negative emotions decrease , negative emotions are created out of ''not knowing what's going on'' or ignorance. when you are less emotional you can clearly see and analyse what's going on.
my 3 cents about this:
Your threads with title names :
1''really dont want to do this anymore..''
2''Freeze out or re-direct the relationship???????''
3''what would you do about this?..''
1. you see you are getting disrespected and so forth, you are seeing the truth but you are hesistant to handle or act. pure frustration it seems...
2. ''trying to drag a dead horse over the field'' you already had a quitting conversation(at 1) in your mind but somehow your ego is holding on and you want to try and rescue the ''relationship''
3. Undecisiveness and insecurity.. or we could say your mind is clouded - you are trying to seek confirmation of your thought by posting on this forum , you are waiting for someone to confirm your belief on how to rescue this relationship and when someone like hobbit replies on '' breaking up '' you are suddenly defending your beliefs.
You only defend when you got attacked , your ego is at work here - because you don't get the right confirmation you see certain replies as attacks.
Your Girlfriend is attacking you by the way... beliefs and opinions are what they are.
quitting conversation
Once you have thought about giving up you know your relationship sucks and you want to use emergency eject. It's like standing in a elevator with a hot girl... she wants to fuck you and you know it BUT she has AIDS and you don't have a condom - what do you do ? do you think you deserve a world of shittyness for a little bit of love/ excitement or would you step out the elevator ? you already thoguht about giving up - that's the truth about on how you value this relationship.
Do you eject on the right time or are you watiing until the plane crashes into some shithole ? Ejecting isn't always giving up .. you can eject but there is a word called inject so... Eject when things are like shit and inject when things are better. there even is a possible cure for AIDS but we don't see it yet !
Waht the fuck is the connection ?!?!?! don't listen to other people on this who brag about doing the same , don't even lower yourself to her level. i tell you you are already acting mature you are waiting and clearly thinking about what your going to say , you aren't sending angry messages without thinking it over.
she is acting immature , she can make you feel like you are shit but at the end she wants a BF who feels like shit..... WHO IN EARTH wants a Boyfriend that feels like shit ?.. wel she does. you anly wish bad things to yourself ( BF who feels like shit) if you are feeling like shit yourself - we can say she certainly have some issues and issues with respecting herself and other people.
Don't let her treat you like shit , but don't even throw the same shit back to her - because when you do the same you are only reflecting you are being the same as her. I think you are a cool guy because instead of becoming angry you ask opinions of other people - do you really think she post on forums as well ? she doesn't do shit...only pissing you off. When someone throws shit you need tot thanks that person.. why ? because when someone throws a pile of shit at your feet what are you going to do with it ? you could throw it back at her or you could build beautifull castles out if that shit, It's not the material but it's the Result that counts -build these beautifull castles get mindfull and let other people look to your art pieces so they can see what they did wrong. Show everyone you a learning and developing person.
SHE don't get angry on her... she has some fucked up relationship values and she doesn't enjoy having a relationship like i do... talking about open relationships and fucking friends is merely not knowing the real meaning behind relationships. the things she say make people feel like shit and she doesn't even realise it, does she have any real ''friends'' ? she is who she is .. ignorant and disrespecting...
What the fuck should i do well you can get a ferrari and impress her, tel her you are going to fuck her friend as well or punch her..... but the solution is really simple: do a freeze out and learn to live wihout her - get less emotional en get rational like i am right now. you are only frustrated because you are feeling certain emotions - it's all in your head, you can easily find your own solutions but you rather give in to negative feelings ( not accepting yourself). you want a normal relationship and feel well this is the case of course but the second case is ; if you don't feel really shitty you could accept her and this ''relationship''. it's a double sided blade because you want to deserve ( or wish ) a healthy relationship because you understand some values which she doesn't know. if you don't know how to act then don't act at all - take your time to decide your actions and don't let your actions get influenced by bad or overdoing-positive emotions.
your thought and emotions have to be lined up to the same level, don't breakup if you don't want to- even if other people tell you it's the best thing to do. and don't treat her like shit like some other people suggest.
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She is being a bitch dude, you know this, we know this, let her see you talking to some girls. that otta do the trick.
she isn't a bitch ... she's just ignorant and short-sighted.. this results in bitch behaviour. If you talk to other girls you only make her jealous OR she doesn't give a shit and date other guys. Of course we all talk to girls anyway but using manipulation to create negative emotions like jealousy isn't the solution.....even if she's jealous would you really think she learns her lessons ? she disrespected you daily and that indicates she doesn't think about her actions at all -one word : immature- .... if she sticks with you out of jealousy then your relation is based on jealousy. Of course you are talking like you got a relationship, if you didn't have a relationship you could make her jealous. i personally wouldn't take the effort to make her jealous.. she isn't worth that much effort il rather break up.
Actually i think hobbit and i are the only ones to tell you '' you are only AFC when you think you're AFC'' i actually believe she is AFC and i think many people will agree
freeze out... you are more important, this is your life... life is a box of chocolates and sometimes we got to eat the bad ones to realise we need a new box with better tasting ones.
o yeah and if you are going to worry about what she will be doing when you are freezing her out you got hell of a one itis for sure. We use the freeze outs to separate the sluts from the ladies, she will either apoligize or hook up with friends.
It's a good way of testing her out. don't hook up with woman on facebook and so forth, such behaviour only tells her bad behaviour is socially acceptable - therefore in this case i really recommend you to not hook up with girls on social community websites like facebook - just go to the club and talk to chicks.
How to freeze out like dark one said previously '' make your point and get out'' .. don't get angry ... just be short and direct. after you have made your point you leave and NEVER CONTACT HER AGAIN UNTIL SHE CONTACTS YOU.
just be the ionly one talking .... talk for 3 minutes or 5 minutes -very short and direct and LEAVE before she even comments - don't let her speak. Don't listen to her shit because sounding immature as she is she will only talk crap or making unplausible excuses to justify her behaviour. Act like your done with it .. act like your independent and not-needy.. and act neutral - JUST BE sure not to get swallowed/lured in a conversation with her girls always want you to talk and commit so they can justify. WOMAN hate it when you walk away without hearing their opinion.
CHAT
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