...

You don't get it do ya?

Oh well, good luck.

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I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

I'm pursuing this regardless so is there anyone who will actually help me.

Do you want advice or do you want validation? Our goal is to tell people what they Need to hear rather than what they Want to hear.

You want to hear; Yes, you're right. Her indifference probably doesn't mean anything, definitely keep pursuing; she's probably playing hard-to-get.

But fuck that, we've been through the shit, and this is your chance to bypass being dragged through the whole sloppy stinky pile.

But I guess you wanna fucking smell it yourself.

You want a one minute fix to a shit pile that's been crusting and piling for a while.

Well here's your quick fix, Power Rangers Band Aid to stick over it, because you ....... Because you lack .....

Anyway. Don't cry, profess your undying love, beg, buy her a car. If you can. Fuck her. Yep that's right. Fuck her long and hard, get up in her guts like your out on parole. While your fucking her, slap her ass and ask her "Who's ass is this!?!?" Do this until she breathlessly says your NAME!

Am I a douche? Maybe Bro, but I've fucking been here.

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

Lol. Yeah right you want to be her bf because she's been through so much. You're so noble.

Do you not understand how bad this looks now? A chick who has been raped and less than ideal family life broke up with YOU. Can you not see how much it must not have been working for her if she left? That's like a one legged chick breaking up with you.. You know when that happens you must have been shitty.

But the she's been through so much that's why I want to be with her is classic. For that I'll say play aloof on your date.. Flirt.. Maybe mention how you've been going out and check your phone. Turn her on and push her away. Have her chase you. Then when she gets you back and dumps again in six months refuse to move on again and give it one more try. Then pull out the big guns and tell her how much you've been there for her and you 2 should give it another try. When she refuses... Guilt trip the fuck out of her. It's not that you don't have confidence in yourself or self respect.. You're just a good guy who wants to be there for her.

This has FAIL all over it.

Guys, let this to be a lesson to you. This 'spark' will be very short-lived, weeks, or a few months at best. This guy is bidding time and on a collision course to a depression and more pain.

The fundamental issue here is the OP lacks self-acceptance, and this lays at the core level. Techniques, lines, frames, and other strategies won't work in the long term because they simply mask insecurities which exist at a core level.

This guy will be fighting battle after battle like a game of whack-a-mole. Tonight he may leave feeling the interaction was great, but a few days from now, next week and on it'll be something 'new' to deal with, another battle, the struggle commences, And its an inner struggle to try and be a way his brain isn't programmed for will create a lot more unrest for him.

Right now he's riding a bit of an ego high because he has the date tonight, and he's likely feeling like "Eff you guys! Im gonna game this bitch and woo her all over again" but sadly there's no real change, he's just riding the wave and like all waves it shortly comes crashing down.

Some guys (and girls) just don't want to do the work, or simply aren't ready to.

Rather they just want to be spoon-fed the answers for that instant gratification fix.

Sometimes people don't notice or appreciate the things we do for them, until we stop doing it. Then they are like, “Why don’t you stalk me anymore?”

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

Here's an idea:

Escalate, escalate, escalate.

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Uncertainty is the root of all progress and all growth.

If anyone's interested in what happened...

We met at a spot we used to go to all the time next to a movie theatre by her house. She got in my car and we just started talking about what we've been up to and telling stories and shit with some light kino. After about 10-15 minutes we went into the movie theatre to get a drink as they have a bar inside. As soon as we sit she says she will pay for the tab (which was only one drink each). So more talking, more light kino, more dhv blah blah.

After about 15-20 minutes at the bar she wanted to go for a walk to the park closeby so I agree and as we are walking the sexual tension started getting higher, she "accidentally" grabbed my hand at one point, we made a few sexual jokes, and were overall very open with eachother about our sexual past. So chilled at the park for a bit and on the walk back we stop to sit on this bench by the lake. She starts talking about how she's been missing me and that she "might have made a mistake". I didn't expect her to say that so soon and I didn't really say anything about getting back together but I didn't say anything about not getting back together either.

She curled up next to me and we laid in the grass for a little while. Once we got back to our cars we said goodbye and hugged and immediately after the hug SHE initiated a little makeout sesh.

We made plans to shop for a birthday present for my little sister (no specific date on that yet though) said goodnight to eachother and that was the end of the night.

To anyone reading this... Yes most of the time these other guys commenting in this thread are right about moving on and saying forget the ex but it is entirely dependent on YOUR SITUATION.

Yes this isn't a complete success story yet but last night was a huge step in the right direction of reconciliation and if it is achieved you just have to remember to stay true to that cool confident guy you are when you first meet a chick and try to get rid of the negative things about you that made your woman stray from you in the first place and that's how you'll keep her.

What cool confident guy did you become over the past 3 weeks? Huh? You didn't move on you went back to her after she dumped you. By cool confident guy do you mean show her you have no better options and self respect? I mean if she wanted space and you couldn't go 3 weeks... I don't know what you see here to think this is something.

How does going back to her in 3 weeks display confidence?

Op it's tough to here but your situation isn't special. Get back together.. Honeymoon.. Break up again. You couldn't even move on... How can you ever give this chick space if even when she was your ex you couldn't? You even see it as KEEPING her. Like who is the prize in this? You can go on dates and act laid back but you're way more into this chick than she is to you. Just by the simple fact she left and you had to reach out first. You can stir up some emotions but when you're so invested in something and someone isn't.. Where do you think this story ends. How many guys have I told her don't go back to an ex... They get her back.. Laugh it off... Then back a few months later to say she dumped them again. Then I gotta go search their old posts to say where I said to move on and they didnt. Then n2 will praise my detective skills. Going on the record this isn't going to end well.. You're way too into her even if you can hide it sometimes from her. I write all this so when n2 is calling my detective in a few months...ill look like a psychic

Whatever dude. Not here to argue, if that does happen and we breakup again for good that's on me.

Thanks for everyone's support and confidence guys you're the best!...ha

This isn't a 'unique' situation. I've actually been through this pretty to to a T with my last girlfriend. In fact, she'd came back to me 4x (I allowed her in each time) and experienced just what you're speaking about. It felt so good, we missed each other it was like a sigh of relief almost upon seeing her again. The touching, the sharing of stories of whats been going on with our lives over the past months of no contact, the warm fuzzy feelings etc..

Lasted at best maybe a few weeks, a month or so if lucky? Then what, the attachment cycle insidiously crept back in and we'd implode. I see this happen over and over and over again with couples who are just a poor fit for one another.

Do you see what you're doing here? Each paragraph I read of yours I cringe a little more because its transparent how you're LOOKING TO HER for reassurance that things are 'good' much like an anxious child looks to his mother that things are ok. You've already given up on yourself, and threw away any potential for self-acceptance just for some reassurance from her, some scraps. You're the thirsty old man in the desert and your neediness will become apparent to her soon enough.

This will not end well and I tell you this from both a professional and personal POV.
You're right, this isn't a success story, at all, in fact it's a cautionary tale to the rest of those paying attention.

You aren't cool nor confident.

You are masquerading as cool and confident, without having done any real work on yourself.

Your CORE, your essence is the very same it was and that's why she'd left.

Now you're building a tonne of anxiety on yourself to BE a certain way without having made any real changes in your life.

You're riding a high at the moment because she showed you some affection last night. Like a heroin addict, you got your temporary 'fix'.

Tomorrow, however when she pulls away, or you perceive her to be pulling away the old you will show quickly. This, I can tell you was the same pattern that happened when the two of you met. You had low investment and were able to 'play' the cool guy, only for the facade/mask to drop quickly and expose your true self - the self that NEEDED someone to feel of any value.


You've sold yourself up the river already, and we're all on the bank watching you drown.

Like I said its on me. Thanks for your input.

Yep. And you'll be back here licking your wounds in no time.

You came here looking for validation to keep things going with her, so you're on your own now. Enjoy the roller coaster you've chosen to jump back onto.

he's lying to himself but he needs to experience this and go through the pain to have any hope of growing though this.

This relationship will be sacrificed, hopefully he'll learn in the process.

And if and when I do return here "licking my wounds" hopefully someone who isn't a complete dickhead will give me constructive criticism instead of acting like he's the shit and responding with so much attitude.

Get over yourself buddy.