Quote:
The difference I think surfaces in scenarios of intense emotional load. Like an overtime builtup feeling of neglection, that results like I explained to the OP in her being jabby with things such as you hanging out with friends. Logically she has no problem with that. Emotionally she feels neglected and her actions reflect it.
If someone's bf or gf spends alot of time with their friends as opposed to them, they'll feel neglected. A man would feel neglected in the same scenario. The emotion isnt exclusive to a sex, same way a man can feel jealous as a woman can feel jealous. In both cases, the "neglected" party's actions will reflect that something is wrong.
Quote:
Another example is in situations where physical integrity may be at risk. A woman may break down and cry. She feels panic so she panics. You feel panic too but you control it. Maybe it's evolutionary, since resilience to panic and keeping a cool head increased your chances of survival, and men were exposed to that much more often.
Same here. Panic is not exclusive. The real difference is that men and women, EXPRESS their emotions differently, but they still feel the same emotions. If a lion ran into a classroom filled with men and women, both sexes would run the hell out.
Quote:
I'm not saying this is always the case. I'm just saying that in my experience women are more susceptible to letting feelings influence actions than men, and understanding how to handle that is crucial in having a healthy relationship. Obviously what you say about not making an idiot your girlfriend is 100% true, but everyone can have bad days.
Women are more susceptible to expressing their feelings, but I'd say no more susceptible than men for having those feelings influence their actions. Jealousy is jealousy. Neglect is neglect. If you feel these emotions in a relationship, they'll influence what you do. A woman may feel neglect and may start arguments over it. A man may feel that same level of neglect, but may remain silent, not because he can control it better, but because men are not encouraged to express himself. He may mope, come on a forum and look for answers. Look at how many threads there are of guys feeling miserable, yet their gfs never know. Then the guy grows distant, or gets rude, or tries to make her jealous. Just different sides of the same coin. Emotions are influencing them both, just women can express them.
Quote:
I'm using the you hanging out with friends example because it's the most iconic for me. I used to get that when I was younger, and always wondered if she had some sort of mental retard if something like that could ever bother her. And I was completely oblivious to the underlying reason.
Understanding how women "work" in that regard, for lack of better term, is one of my biggest revelations so to speak.
I'm fine
Nothing's wrong
Do whatever you want
Those statements derive from emotion dictating action. I really think it's important for inexperienced guys to be able to recognize that and attack the problem at it's source, aka confronting how she's feeling, rather than attacking it in a logical manner which will never make sense to them. And how would it? because it doesn't.
All of this applies to men as well. I used to think women were just these crazy emotional characters, but then I realized that they're less different than most men. Dudes cry for girls after a breakup, dudes feel insecure in relationships, they may be pissed off at work and act mopey when they get home. What happens is girls are more open about their emotions, whereas guys hide it. For eg, I've had male friends who were macho and seemed like they had everything in order. Talk to their gf or ex and come to hear this dude would cry on her shoulder because he was insecure she would leave him, or he gets sad over shit at work, or he's throwing tantrums over his friends not inviting him to soccer. My point is, emotions are universal, they control us all to some degree, and just because women are more outwardly emotional, doesnt mean they're influenced more than men.
Quote:
Like I said, I don't think it's a radical difference. It's a subtle one, but it surfaces in sensitive situations.
I agree there are subtle differences but thats not the same or close to Most women operate mostly on emotion and men on logic. I say this because women are adults. And most dont operate on mostly emotion, we all are influenced by emotion but we control it to some degree. The girl who's throwing tantrums, most likely isnt throwing tantrums at work. So they can control themselves. They are logical and if you're with one, if she gives a fuck about you she will control her emotions.
Quote:
This.
Huge eye opener. If this wasn't true, huge romantic gestures and over investment would be an instant way out of the friendzone. Also, my ex thread wouldn't need to exist lol. Guys would just logically persuade them back, like I used to try to.
Love, romance, attraction are not logical in the first place. Most people dont date for logic. Men or women. When you say that this proves women are emotional and men logical, and back it with evidence from relationships/dating thats disingenuous. Women can't logically persuade a man to get back with nor can attract a man through big romantic gestures, so in that case, this would be proof that men operate mostly from emotion too. Someone cant say BMW is luxury, Mercedez is generic, then you say this is true because BMW has steering wheels. You can't use dating as a test of logic, because there's no logic in dating in the first place. Also you cant describe something that holds true for both sexes when they are being contrasted. Ironically, that comment is not logical lol.
CHAT
