what would you suggest? Im not sure what to do. An Ultimatum?

Why the fuck is everyone givings ultimatums, don't give her an ultimatum, not sure to tell you what to do...but its not that.

Yeah im not sure what to do to be honest but I definitely want to talk to her about it. I want to be alpha about it and let her know that she wont just walk all over me because im a nice guy.

I don't see anyone suggesting ultimatums.
But just check her responds when you ask to see her phone.

_________________
They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

Break up with her.

I feel like shes going to be smarter than that. Especially if I call her today and talk to her about it, shes going to come with a clean phone tomorrow.

Great post. Well said.

You're worrying too much about looking "weak". Jealousy and suspicion is a natural part of us and you shouldn't suppress that natural instinct. Her behavior HAS been VERY suspicious and you have all the right in the world to be worried about it. The part where you talk about the relationship between her and your best friend, a lot of guys I know would break up with her for less.

If the guy cheats on his girlfriend (which he claims to love) without any remorse, you can be damn sure this scumbag will do the same to you with a smile on his face. If it was me, I would tell him AND her I want them to keep more distance between one another. Is that being weak? Being weak is being afraid to impose boundaries, demand limits and fight for what's yours.

Don't do an "ultimatum" because the girl doesn't even have an idea that it bothers you yet. First, you should let her and him know that you don't like what you're seeing and you want them to back off. If it persists, if it's gotten to a point where she seems to value his company more than yours, THEN you should do an ultimatum.

An ultimatum is a chance at resurrection.

Is that going to make you happy?

_________________
They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

Do you flirt with other girls when you're together?
You're the man in control of the relationsship, you are the captain of the boat. It's your responsibility to keep it sailing in the right direction.
Anyway, I had the same problem with my gf and my best friend not too long ago. It's frustrating as hell.
I posted a thread in here, and got a simple, but powerful advice.
Here is what I did:
We had hung out with a group of friends - him included.
She had shown him some IoIs and neglected me through the night. First off, I blame myself for it. I was off game that night and had that negative "I don't give a shit about anything"-mindset.
On the way home with her, I tried to stay as calm as I could. Seeing the way they communicated with each other through the night made me in a bad mood.
I got jealous.
Instead of pulling some of my jealous bullshit on her, and letting it all out, I tried something new for me.
We were small-talking and I dropped this line, in a positive/playful way:
"You and Derp would actually make a great couple".
She got a bit confused and asked:
"Why? Is it because I laugh at his jokes?"
I stayed positive, and said it like it didn't mean a shit:
"Nah, I can't put words on it, just something that hitted me".
Without a gasp she told me how much she loved me, and that I was the only man for her.
Afterwards she talked abouth how good a couple Derp and one of her female friends would make, and asked if I would help her to hook them up.
I haven't experienced anything flirtatious between my friend and gf afterwards.

I don't know why, but this worked wonders for me.
Maybe because she is aware that its something that I think about and therefore re-evaluate her own behavier.
I think I gave her a guilty consience.
Why is it the most powerful tool a parent can use is:
"I'm not mad, I'm just dissapointed"?
Because anger tempt us to cross the line anyway and see how far we can go.
If we make someone dissapointed it gives us an guilty conscience, and makes us feel useless. That gives us an eager to try harder and better next time.
Don't get mad at her. It wont help, trust me.
Let her know it crossed your mind, but let it be with that.
You have the absolute right to confront your friend thou.
Good luck, I hope it helps.

Got jealous of what? And anyway why haven't you still met this guy? If someone wanted to beat me, I'd want to know who the hell he is. If he doesn't start a fight then that just means he is a fucking cunt with a big mouth but nothing else. I'd also break up with my girlfriend if she behaved like that, and tell her to be happy with her new pussycat. Seriously, how immature could a girl possibly be to not realize she's behaving like a complete joke?
First she is constantly seeing your best buddy, but that would even be okay with me. I let my ex gf see her exes, even notorious cheater ones, and one that I knew was still into her because I couldn't give a fuck. If she cheats and I find out then she goes(it happened later, just not with the exes). Simple as that. But more importantly, your girlfriend is openly into this Mr. Muscle von Douchebag. She even puts your face in this piece of shit by mentionning what the guy told her, and then she adds him on facebook. If that's not a red flag, then I don't know what is.

_________________
"Bros before hoes"

Relationship guide: extended-relationship-guide-vt170687.html

http://wayoftheplayer.com/become-a-player/instinct

Thanks for the post man, this really helps me a lot!!! I thought to myself, maybe im over reacting with this douchebag that she added. But when I think about it, how the fuck can you pull some shit like that? All of you guys have helped me a ton. Much appreciated! And she was effected by the fact that I shined at a country scene. Like I said before, shes super into country and so when we went to the country club, she probably expected me to be the guy who just sat in the corner. But I danced my ass off like there was no tomorrow. I showed that a country scene (one ive never been to) wasnt going to stop me from having fun. I guess I acted in an outgoing manner to the point where she thought "with him acting like this, he's going to attract other women."

I'm going to give you some of the most human advice I can muster:

The Facts:

1. Your girl has already developed feelings for your best friend. Its just part of a natural human reaction to growing closer to an interesting, attractive individual of the opposite sex. THIS IS WHY GOOD GIRLFRIENDS DON'T SPEND AN INORDINATE AMOUNT OF TIME WITH THEIR BOYFRIEND'S MALE FRIENDS. She may mistakenly believe that it will not develop further, but females are NOT creatures of logic, they are creatures of emotion. And emotions are slowly leading to an affair, 2 broken hearts, and 1 broken friendship.

2. Your friend is aiming to fuck your girlfriend. Its just part of a natural human reaction to growing closer to an interesting, attractive individual of the opposite sex. THIS IS WHY GOOD FRIENDS DON'T SPEND AN INORDINATE AMOUNT OF TIME WITH THEIR BEST FRIEND'S GIRLFRIENDS. Personal habits, as well as the strongest biological urge of all mankind has probably pushed him past the point of no return, where he knows he will fuck your girl if he gets the opportunity. That opportunity may come in the form of one of the many social interactions they've been sharing + alcohol. This is coming from a guy who has had relations with my friend's girlfriends. I'm not proud of my selfishness, but you should understand this mindset, and so I share.

3. You are passive as hell. Your false ideas of "playing it cool" and "not over-reacting" are convincing you to sit by and do nothing while your girl is slowly creeping away from you and your life spirals into an extremely depressing state. Even the coolest man alive has periods of insecurity, rage, fear, etc. How you express these emotions is what makes you attractive, not the full suppression of them.

The Advice:

You are in a tricky spot, and regardless of what happens, you're going to be taking a risk and learning a valuable lesson for the future. My first piece of advice is to take full conscious responsibility for what you will do. Don't worry about overreacting, or how other people will see you. Trust yourself man. You already know the answer, and as a man, its up to you to decide the situation. Not your girl. Not your friend. Not even any of us. There is a time to be laid back, but also a time to act with full intention.

My second piece of advice is to really decide what is important to you. Honestly, I would never feel comfortable with my girl and best friend chilling all the time. All of my good friends, and good girlfriends already agree. Why? Because its human nature to be unfaithful, want to have sex with someone that has been so strongly validated socially, and grow feelings for people we hang around with. You don't have to be a dirtbag to follow this path, its in all of us already. Personally, I think your girlfriend is acting out of ignorance, and your friend out of selfishness, but I may be wrong. Either way its probably going to end badly the route its going. If you decide this is not what you want (obviously you may have learned by now why you keep girlfriends/best friends at a casual distance), I would just confront both of them, and let them know how you feel, and what you want). If they disagree, then you should have no qualms about cutting either one off and pursuing relationships with like-minded people. We all grow and change over time. If you truly feel like its not a big deal, enjoy the experience and I hope you learn something 28 years of living has failed to show me. Either way act from a point of true conviction and wisdom, not from where either one of them are coming from. Like I said, most women are simply ignorant of what their feelings of capable of, most men are selfish when it comes to sex. Trust yourself.

As far as the guys saying freeze her out and all that. Why? Do you think at this point its really smart to play games? I suppose its a decent option, but I think the underlying problem is that you are ok with everything thats happening. Whats the point of distancing yourself if you still don't mind them chilling all the time while you are away? Are you sure your girls feelings are so strong for you, and so weak for him, that your absence will be a blessing, not a curse? And as someone else mentioned...you're a man. You shouldn't have to resort to mindgames, headaches, aggravation, etc. If you're going to be distanced, do it from a stance of authenticity...that is, you really are no longer interested in pursuing this relationship.

The Conclusion:

Why in the world are you ok with your girl and best friend hanging out all the time? Check yourself first, to make sure you fully realize why this is a terrible idea, and then check both of them. If they don't follow your philosophy, either out of ignorance, selfishness, or an honest difference in opinion, you are better off being a man about it, sucking up the pain, and finding higher quality people to be around. If you truly feel its ok for them to be spending so much time together, take other advice and play lots of games, raise your stress levels, and learn from your own decisions.

That being said, your girlfriend sounds like she has a lot of mistakes to make in this world, and doesn't yet understand the basic prerequisites for avoiding an affair, or even how to treat a man. Maybe she's willing to learn, maybe not. These are things that a girl usually learns after years of loose behavior, breaking hearts, being played, and worse. Your "friend" sounds like a really selfish prick who wouldn't pass up an opportunity to have sex with someone you care about. Just my impressions. Either way, you need to decide if these are the type of people you're worth, and if you're willing to endure the potential outcomes. Make your decision not based on how people will perceive your reactions....but from the core of your truth and knowledge.

Good luck, and let us know what happens!

P.S. Next time you don't want to go someplace, just don't go! Don't feel pressured to go along with the crowd. That would be the perfect opportunity to take your girl someplace else, and experience something you've both never experienced before...instead of letting your bestfriend dictate both your weekends. Plus you get the added bonus of seeing whether your girl is really loyal enough to switch up plans and follow your lead...or choose to follow your friend's instead. The world is yours my friend! Best of luck...

I love this story. My theory is that in a split second she actually weighed the options between you and Derp, realized she wants you, realized you would actually be willing to let her go off with Derp, and decided she would need to do whatever was necessary to keep you around. I think her asking you to help hook him up with someone else is her way of repeatedly proving to you that she doesn't want Derp, because if you think she does, she knows you're ready to move on. Very well played. Subtle way to get a girl chasing you again.

OP take notes.

Seems like your relationship isn't very stable.. Your best option (in my opinion, and I'm not some expert) is to make her feel like she needs you, make her jealous, get her to work some for you.
Freezing her out, being flirty with other girls, and acting cool like you don't care around her will either do that or drive her away. If it drives her away then you'd probably be better off dumping her since she obviously wasn't into you enough to try harder. If it helps, well then good for you.