I have had this happen a lot in my weaker days. It's a shit test filled with BS emotions.

Best ignore her shit and let her yap on and on. You have better things to do with your time than wait for her stupid messages.

If she does not come around soon then why would you want a fucking girl that abuses you anyway?

There are 3 Billion women on the planet. Tell her to stop right now.

Btw this might be a little offtopic but we are going out today both to seperate party's and i couldn't join hers because the car was full and i asked her

''With who are you going tonight?''

And she said "Me and friend (girl) and a couple of dudes are there"

Shit test ? It pisses me off

I'll add my two cents:

It is not a shit test on her part, it is a true test to see how much you care for her. All you have to do is show her how much you actually do.

You're asking her whats wrong and she won't tell you. She just tells you to figure it out, and that you're acting weird and distant but, when you try to find out whats wrong and she doesn't say, you quickly give up and thats that.

Put your pride away, ask her out to dinner, sit down with her, communicate and truly convey that you want to know WTF is going on? Otherwise, you're screwed.

If you were to put your convo without mentioning who said what, I would have a hard time determining who the girl is in the conversation. Either talk to her like an adult in a non-judgmental way, or be unphased and have a cocky/funny response to almost everything she says which is what I do with girls I don't care too much about and always builds attraction and sometimes respect if done right.

Stop being so emotional and passive aggressive. When you say things like ...oh so I guess it's my fault right?...it sounds like a high school drama tv show. I hate when men act like that cause it's so weak, emotional and feminine. Of course, there is the very slight chance that you said it in a cool, unphased sarcastic way that would negate my perception of the situation but I highly doubt that's the case. If you see where I'm getting at, then stop that behaviour.

If you want to know what to do and how to behave, I'll tell you something vey simple where you don't have to be a pua master, read lots of material and do so much leg work. All you have to do is ask what would your idol do? By that, I mean someone you admire, respect and can identify as an attractive man, like george clooney for example. Do you think Clooney would act that way? Fuck no!! He is way too mature and secure in himself to drop his composure and value for some girl. He would probably have a heartfelt conversation with the girl and convey that he is listening and cares. He also wouldn't point her out for her little outbreaks because he understands that women are emotional and get a little crazy ever so often.

I'm sure if you regain your composure, accept that you are still improving and willing to listen to her without judging and losing composure, you will win. Be the bigger man here and have no regrets. If it doesn't work out, you will be happy knowing that you handled it well and that you deserve a higher quality woman since she couldn't deal with a mature high quality man.

:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(

Sorry bro. You don't do nothing from the things we tell you.
You are not a MAN for her. You are just HER TOY. She goes on a party with a friend and 3 dudes you don even know. Either she met them recently, or they are guys she never wanted to tell you about. The fact is that she might chose 3 random guys than you, her boyfriend.
It might be shit test, it might not, but its time to start acting as a man. Meet with her.

_________________
There is no reality, there is just my mind.

Thanks a lot for the help, i have re-red (is that a word?) your posts a couple of times and will make something happen.

but
I feel like if i bring op those ''dudes'' she might think im jealous (wich i am but dont want her to know) so what would be the right approach here?

Again thanks a lot guys for the help! I appreciate it a lot and will listen more to what you guys say instead of following my emotions


Edit: ill ad some more info

-When she brought up the dudes i also asked who they where and she replied ''you dont know them"

and some time ago a resident DJ asked her to get drinks sometime just the 2 of them, she showed me the conversation on SPAM and she basically told him off and im glad about that, now she told me that that guy was at the party yesterday aswell

you are reacting pretty hard to this girl,

listen man, between you and your girlfriend, you gotta drop your ego, there is no right or wrong person, there are simply two opinions, you don't have to prove her wrong, and you don't have to be right, you don't have to beat her in some competition that doesn't exist, expressing your opinion and being sure of it, that's all fine and dandy, but being needy and having to see your outcome go your way is a great way to create situations like this one you have gotten yourself into right here

your girlfriend is obviously not pissed off about you using a smiley face, she is angry for a different reason, and until you understand what that is, you can't lead your way out of this shithole and re-frame

there is a lack of communication and understanding going on right now between the two of you, and it seems like a clash of two egos, one person has to be mr. or mrs. big pants, you guys are both trying to out-do each other for who can be a bigger cunt, just stop it, start figuring out why she is doing this shit, and correct the problem so that it doesn't persist, let her know how you feel as well without needing something from it or making demands or anything, if you can't bring yourself to appologise that is fine, but stop trying to be mr. fuck-you-im-right, you are not right, and she is not right, you are both just being assholes

when she is all pissed off, change her mood before you start looking for compliance, an angry girl will be about as compliant as your worst enemy in a war

she says you have been weird and distant, tell her you are surprised to hear that and you would love to see her more often (fix the problem, let her dictate the pace so she gets what she needs, but you lead her to the solution, let her think it was all her idea)

you are treating this shit like a mexican standoff when you should be working together, this is a partnership, not a dictatorship, it's just you are partner number one, you come up with the ideas and she is your sidekick, fucking listen to your damn sidekick or robin will start to kick SPAM's ass and become an evil villian, you gotta be responsible for this shit, you gotta be more pro-active and lead the two of you out of these shit holes, the only way you can descide where to lead to, is input from that little navigator with the tits in the front seat beside you, if you two don't communicate and understand each other, you will end up at the north pole, and who the fuck wants to end up there? (god knows not the people that live there), maybe you want to drive to the north pole, just because you don't want to ask directions, but once you get there, you will realize santa claus isn't real, and the north pole sucks and it's cold

it is the same way with her insecure comments, don't just dictate for her, understand her, why do you think you are ugly?, what's wrong with your hair?, let her explain so you understand, then tell her how you feel

her: my hair is so shitty today
you: what's wrong with your hair?
her: I didn't do a pony tail, I wanted a pony tail
you: you're right, god damn your hair is so bad, I totally don't want to have sex with you right now at all or anything like that, totally not cute at all (said with utter sarcasm)


if you are not getting through to her and the defenses are up high, then you gotta shed some damn value for her, let her know how you feel, you don't have to come crawling at her feet begging for forgiveness for something that you don't believe in, but you should understand her position and re-frame, stop with this whole, FUCK YOU, NO FUCK YOU, frame you have going on, leave this shit behind, get back to the WE LIKE EACH OTHER frame

''Listen, I really want to talk with you, but you seem upset, I don't like talking to you when you are upset with me, I want the old you back, let me know when you are ready to talk''

if she can't play nice, then just stop playing, let her cool off until she realize she is being crazy when you were not, but when you start getting faced with these head to head battles, it doesn't have to be my way or the highway, you lead, yes, but take her into consideration, leading doesn't mean you domineer and control, simply you make descisions first, let others give you their input, and if you are not trying to understand them, their input will be useless to you, and there will eventually be a mutiny

GOOD LUCK

this chick is so banging those other dudes

_________________
what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

Don't get me wrong, in the beginning i did this, with every little comment she made, i reacted exactly like you just said, the thing is, after 8 months its starting to drive me crazy that she's still making those comments.

And thank you for that response, it really helped me a lot!

She might be coming over soon and i still have one thing that im not quiet sure of how to do

Why would you think that? She first invited me to come to the party (she was already going with friends) but since it is really far away and the dad of a friend of her brought them there wasn't any place left so i couldn't go with them, she told me to ask my parents to bring me and stuff like that, and as the night progressed she also texted me to know how its going there and that everything was fine (also she noticed how she got a lot of attention from guys, she tells me this everytime she goes out when im not there)

And she said she was sad that i wasn't there and that i should still come (eventho i was at another party already)

yeah but the thing is im worrying like crazy now, and posts like
aren't helping me


I just reread the conversation i had and it even worries me more now, this is exactly what has been said:

(this was in the middle of the night where she texted me, she was joking: "And did you hook up with any hot girls yet?") so i responded

Me: And are those "dudes" nice to you?
GF: Yeaah but its only 3 of them
Me: Haha how do you know them again?
GF: Just everything and nothing haha
Me: Who where they then? :p
GF: You dont know them
Me: perhaps i do?
GF: No you don't cause otherwise i would know! :p

I find it weird she knows and meets up with these 3 dudes while i never heard of them and we've been dating for 8 months...

I feel so shit about this right now and i'm very suspicious but ill keep my calm and listen to Hobbit

forget about what the other posts said, trust your girlfriend, she will do what she will do, if she is even remotely attractive she could cheat at any time, simply by asking any guy that even talks to her out to do something alone, she doesn't need a party to cheat, always give your girlfriend the benefit of the doubt until you have a real reason to believe she is cheating, you also went out without her, and I assume there were girls where you were too, her going to a party without you is not a good reason to suspect anything

uggg... wish I posted sooner, why do you insist on having the worst frame control ever... remember the part about if she can't play nice, don't play with her at all until she changes what she is doing?

WTF do you think you are doing here, encouraging good behavior, or bad behavior?

go back to the very first part of my post YOU ARE REACTING TO THIS GIRL, stop letting her dictate the frame... FFS LET IT GO, DROP YOUR EGO, AND RE-FRAME OR YOU ARE GOING TO DIG YOURSELF A HOLE THAT IS TOO DEEP TO RECOVER FROM

There's a whole lot of shit going on this thread. Cheating, freeze-outs, shit tests, all kinds of other BS. What? Next time someone will tell him he didn't neg his gf enough? LMAO...

I just don't understand why won't you fucking listen to your girlfriend? And why don't you take the advice of obviously experienced people over the ones that are obviously talking BULLSHIT?

There's a serious lack of communication going on here and what surprises me that as far as I've seen none of the posters suggested that you point it out(correct me if I'm wrong) Why don't you tell her this:

"It seems like we can't really understand each other via text. That's all right we'll work on that, but now we have more important problems to solve. I want you to know that I DO care about you and your feelings so I want to avoid going deeper in the shit and have figured it would be best to do so in a manner that currently seems the most effective. Which is in person."

Just drop this BS about the smileys and the WTFs and the other dudes. And listen to the damn feelings of your girl!

_________________
"Bros before hoes"

Relationship guide: extended-relationship-guide-vt170687.html

http://wayoftheplayer.com/become-a-player/instinct

Yep... that's a good idea. Taking responsibility is a big part of being a man.

_________________
"Bros before hoes"

Relationship guide: extended-relationship-guide-vt170687.html

http://wayoftheplayer.com/become-a-player/instinct