Man Im so messed up right now! I walked into the room to get a pillow and blanket and said im not sleeping in there tonight...she said "what do you want?" I said to her "I want a relationship with you but we are clearly not on the same page...what do you want me to fix everything now?, make everything better and cater to you? you dont think there has been times when I got bored with our relationship? of course there was but I worked through it and I stuck by you" I then kind of got emotional which I tired not to do and said "you have no fight in you, you have no fight in you for our relationship, if you want something you fight for it"

then I walked out.

I am scared! I was literally expecting to marry her in the next couple years and now we are on the edge. We went from a happy couple to on the edge of break up!

Here is what I don't understand....why do women always feel like we are the problem? it always the blame game with women....they never want to put anything on their shoulder and take some responsibility? I work my ass off to support us, work hard at my job, help support her in school, never question anything she does and this is what I get? I understand the whole "AFC" thing but Im really not a push over at all! yeah things might have got a little routine for a while but its because im working my ass off so she can go to school, and we can afford shit!

sorry for venting so much guys but this is really messing with my head!

Damn, is there anywhere you can go for a few days? Say you are going to see family or staying at a friends for a few days until you (she) decides what she wants.

Maybe a day or 2 away from her at this time will do you good.
I know it will be hard man, keep your head up and try not to show your hurt.
Chin up

_________________
We are here for a Good time, Not a long time.
Chick Count - 190

I feel ya man! Girls are like this, get used to it! When she says everything is ok but she acts like its not then go with body language rather then what she says verbally.

In all honesty you deserve better! I am starting to think girls believe its the mans job to keep the relationship excited and entertain her along the ride and she can just chill and be pretty. Often girls say: "I got bored so i had to end it" but they never tell you this until the fucking break-up. ( lesson i learned is to look at the relationship once in a while and make sure you and her are not always doing the same stuff. ) so you can prevent this.


Based on the image you give me you seem like a good man who got his shit together, this girl should be lucky to be with you but if i were you i would keep my self-respect and break-up myself.

Good luck with all this bro! keep us posted

_________________
Do not make external things like girls define your happiness or you will live a harsh life. Keep doing what you love and keep improving as a man.

Thanks guys this has really helped so far! its nice to have a place to vent and get advice!

I honestly feel that she needs to look at her self as the reason why things got "boring" I tried to do "stuff" with her, and keep things exciting but she never seemed to want to do anything so I left it, she never once at any point told me she wanted "excitement" even when asking her "whats wrong" multiple times she didn't give me a response. In my eyes if you want a quality relationship and you want something you need to put a quality effort in and work at it, you cant demand things and expect the other partner to deliver alone....thats like telling your boss you want a promotion but not working for it.

Her back round is that she didn't really have a great relationship with her father growing up, she just recently started "bonding" with her father, her mom is a selfish type of person, they have a good relationship but shes a complainer and she only thinks of her self, her parents are also divorced, Im starting to think a lot of this is carrying over into our relationship.

I came from a solid family, parents married for over 30 years, always have had open communication with my parents and we are very close! they are as supportive as anyone could ask for! and I think that has a lot to do with why I turned out the way I did.

although she has her demons I am willing to help her through them but only if she is willing to do her part! and only if I know she is as serious as me about our relationship....if she's not sure, or has questions then Id rather just get it over with so we can both get on with out lives...Id rather meet someone who is working towards the same things as me then try to make someone want the same things you know what I mean?

I just feel like she lied to me all along, she always told me she loved me so much, that she wanted to marry me, that she couldn't see us apart ect ect ect....and after a weekend of partying she is showing the opposite....that's what im so upset about! I am also upset at the fact that she was out drunk, partying with other guys, while we were having relationship issues, and yes i am a bit jealous for the first time in our relationship but I think most guys would be in that situation?

What do you guys feel is the appropriate thing to say to her? we will talk tonight when we both get home from work. I would love things to work out between us but not at the price of my happiness.

Firstly, I think you did really well! Sounds like you have knocked the ball in her court in a reasonable mannor! Your frame was good! Sounds like you need to wait for her reply.

Secondly, I wouldn't bring up the jealousy issue! Sure bring up the "running off" and how it made you feel but just not the other guy stuff!

Tonight sounds like it might be make or break time.

If it's somehow left unresolved I'd leave for a few days and act distant!

yeah I really have no idea what she is thinking! we didn't talk this morning, I sent her a txt that basically said I love her, and I will always love her but I will not always be here, and she needs to tell me how she feels and what she wants because if we want different things then we should just end the relationship. I also said that I felt it was not me that she was bored with but rather something about her self she is not happy with, that I have always supported her, I have always worked through tough times and fought for our relationship, but that now I am done fighting and It takes two people to make things work.

Tonight is make or break I think you are right! I have no idea which way it will go and its an odd feeling! I was so sure about us just a few days ago and now the woman I was planning on spending my life with might be gone...the last three years of my life have been built around our future and that could be gone.

This might sounds a bit selfish and conceded but she is a better person since she has been with me. She only had a grade 11 education when we met, I supported her and helped her finish her highschool, helped her get into college and finish college, and now i have been supporting her in university. She had zero contact with her father before she met me, she hated him! and I talked her into meeting with him, now they have a good relationship and she see's him all the time! She started working out with me when we met and now she looks amazing! she looked good before she looks unreal now! she lives a much healthier life style! she's more positive, and much much much more confident! I feel almost used....like she got what she wanted or something you know?

I know what you mean about helping her out! It's almost like you where a father figure! Your background is exactly the same as mine...very stable, happy parents and very close! I've noticed that I'm not often compatible with girls from broken homes! I'm not 100% sure why that is.

I hope it works out for you!

If it doesn't work out then the only piece of advice I'd give is don't be emotional about it in front of her. Then completely freeze her out. No soppy texts or anything like that! Force yourself to have a few nights out ASAP and get Facebook tagged with some girls in photos! Present yourself as "YES I'm finally free". Basically turn into the dude you where when she first met you!

This may bring out her emotions

Good luck but prepare yourself for a break-up. Even if things get resolved, there will always be some tension because of this bullshit, its like a ticking time bomb. Also it seems she already made-up her mind and when a girl does this its very hard to change that. Look at the way she treats you man! You did everything for her and are still willing to do this. When YOU are not happy anymore break-up and stop wasting time fixing something that does not want to be fixed.

Don't feel used! Feel like she is losing the best thing in her life and she will know this once your gone, trust me! You seem like a really good catch for her and pretty sure she won't find anyone else like you who got his stuff together and is willing to support her like you did.

Just make sure and i speak from experience do not BEG for things to work out if she does not want to be with you anymore. You will lose a lot of respect for yourself and feel like shit for weeks. Be the one who decides if its gonna last or not and act like a man, no crying.

Keep us posted my friend!

_________________
Do not make external things like girls define your happiness or you will live a harsh life. Keep doing what you love and keep improving as a man.

You did alot for her. Maybe too much? (As in relationship not in balance?)

I'm following this... Keep us posted!

yeah as in I have taken her from a small town girl high school drop out with a grade 11 education and a dead end job, to having a college diploma, and now she will be starting her dream degree in university. She is actually moving out in aug. which is something i neglected to tell you guys, not because she wanted to but because she was accepted into a degree program 2 hours away and its what she has always wanted to do! I supported her 100% and told her go for it! we will make it work and I can commute back and forth on the weekends...it didn't really bother me all that much.

I have done so many positive things in her life! and yet the scale does not even out on my end....she has been good to me but I have had to make sacrifices along the way to cater to out relationship.

You seem far to good for her, you sound like a top bloke and i can understand how you may be feeling. Your better than her, dont take no shit

_________________
We are here for a Good time, Not a long time.
Chick Count - 190

You might think "why does this guy love her so much? sounds like he has a raw deal!". We really do have a lot in common. We have a lot of fun together, sex was good but recently it has been less and less frequent! we are best friends and very close! we always worked through our problems before but I am starting to realize it was more me who worked through them and she sat back and let me fix everything.

I think we made it work because I adapted to what she needed but when I need something she cant adapt. My dad always told me a relationship is not 50/50 its 60/40, sometimes you need 60 and some times she needs 60....I am starting to realize that she doesn't ever give me that extra support when I need it. Life has been busy the last month or so but for good reason! and she would be more supportive!

I'm so torn right now.

what do you guys feel is the best way to get this across to her? I want to convey what I'm thinking and usually I am very good at it! but right now my mind is going in a million different directions!

we will have "the talk" tonight and I need some solid points that will open her eyes...I need her to see it from my point of view.

Dude,

I dont wanna piss you off or make you feel worse than you already do , but im gonna tell it like it is, or at least how i see it.

you say shit like "my priority is our relationship" .. this exact phrase and your mentality in general is probably what killed the "excitement" in your relationship.
women do not want your priority to be your relationship !
they may say they do, but they dont.

remember, women say GIBBERISH.

you doing so much for her, doing all these favours for her, making her a priority etc etc., just drills you more and more into the friendzone. in the end she probably felt like shes having sex with a friend rather than her boyfriend. the attraction needs to be there for her to want sex.

women will never change. no attraction = eventual cheating or break up.

this is why the whole bad boy thing is so alluring to guys.

treat girls like shit, they want to fuck you. gee simple enough.

i get that in relationships you would expect a girl to kinda get over that shit especially after 3 years etc, you would expect her to appreciate what you do and how much you love her and all that soft snuggly shit.

but no, women DO NOT CHANGE. from the day you met her, till yesterday, she still wants the same general entertainment out of her "lover".

she wants mystery, seduction, allure, romance. she wants to be treated like a princess sometimes, and other times she wants to be treated like a used slut.

let me repeat, THIS DOES NOT CHANGE no matter how deep you are in your relationship.

women are fickle. they say they want you to answer her calls all the time, do whatever she asks, comply to her every demand. yet doing that will most certainly end your romantic relationship with her. because at the very raw basis of humanity, MAN = BOSS.

you let her be the boss, it goes against the natural polarity of humankind.

sure theres always exceptions, but this i basically how it is for the most part.

by the way theres no doubt whatsoever that this girl wants to be with you.

she just wants to feel excited and attracted to you again.

the reason she paused before telling you that she wants it to work out is because shes thinking

"hmm well i do love this person, i have invested alot, we are good together, etc etc etc, but im not feeling attracted to him anymore. i wish he would change so that i could feel attracted to him again. then everything would be great"