Girlfriend wants unprotected sex...I don't.



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PostPosted: Tue Feb 07, 2017 12:39 am 
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The subject says it all.
Girlfriend and I have been dating for a year now. We have sex when we meet on a weekly basis. Recently she expressed her desire to have unprotected sex. She wants to feel me inside of her vagina....just for one second...and with me not wearing the condom.

We talked about this. She had a few relationships in the past and knows what it's like to have sex without the condom. She hates the feel of the condom inside of her. I never tried unprotected sex and I'm not keen on the idea. I don't want the risks of picking up STDs or for her to get pregnant. We are both not ready for children.

She described the experience like the sensation of receiving a blowjob without the condom. After one second of penetrating, I can withdraw and cum over her tummy. Surely some cum can leak out before the ejaculation. I believe, this will be enough to get her pregnant.

She said it will be difficult to get pregnant at the first attempt and she is not keen on the idea of continuing to practice safe sex. I used latex-free condom as this is what she preferred in the first place.

After the last time we had protected sex, she immediately turned her back on me afterwards because I refused to try without the condom. She angrily said to me that I should not be afraid and that she wants to feel me inside her.

I can't believe that my girlfriend is suggesting this. I don't know what to do. I feel like that she may be trying to trap me into a long term relationship if we have children. I really don't know what her game is. Is there a difference in what a lady feels during protected or unprotected sex?

I'm not happy at all and no doubt that she will convince me or trick me. What can I say to her that I mean 'No', without ruining our relationship? Any advice or comments will be greatly appreciated. Thank you.


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 07, 2017 12:43 am 
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have you tried birth control?

Im not saying you should or should not either way, just responding to your fears. Also, it doesnt sound like you trust her


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 07, 2017 1:06 am 
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Personally I would only start going raw on a girl if I'd trust her enough (as in: being ok with her having the keys of my apartment, my credit card number or the code of my cellphone). Then we'd both take STD tests, and if clear, swear not to go raw on anybody else, and keep taking STD tests every 6 months or so.
And if for whatever reason I find myself with a girl pregnant (say condom breaks) and unwilling to abort, I would take ZERO responsibility with the child. If she chooses to keep the child, this is her responsibility alone.

That's my standards, now back to your case. "difficult to get pregnant at the first attempt?" Bullshit, likelihood is just the same. Chances of getting pregnant is there, yeah, but you also have various forms of birth control that she can set up inside her vagina, or by taking pills. Talk to her about it. Ask her how she'd react if she does get pregnant: would she keep the baby? Would she have abortion?

About STDs, if you are in an exclusive relationship, both of you should take a STD test before going raw. And to answer your question: doing it raw feels awesome.

One last thought:
Quote:
After the last time we had protected sex, she immediately turned her back on me afterwards because I refused to try without the condom. She angrily said to me that I should not be afraid and that she wants to feel me inside her.
THAT is called emotional blackmail, and I would never stay anywhere near a person who would do that.

In short: if STDs is your concern, take a test and evaluate how much you can trust your partner to protect herself (and therefore you too) from STDs. If pregnancy is your concern, ask her to get birth control. And bottom line: you SHOULD NEVER let a girl have you do something you don't want to do.

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PostPosted: Tue Feb 07, 2017 1:21 am 
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Quote:
Personally I would only start going raw on a girl if I'd trust her enough (as in: being ok with her having the keys of my apartment, my credit card number or the code of my cellphone). Then we'd both take STD tests, and if clear, swear not to go raw on anybody else, and keep taking STD tests every 6 months or so.
And if for whatever reason I find myself with a girl pregnant (say condom breaks) and unwilling to abort, I would take ZERO responsibility with the child. If she chooses to keep the child, this is her responsibility alone.

That's my standards, now back to your case. "difficult to get pregnant at the first attempt?" Bullshit, likelihood is just the same. Chances of getting pregnant is there, yeah, but you also have various forms of birth control that she can set up inside her vagina, or by taking pills. Talk to her about it. Ask her how she'd react if she does get pregnant: would she keep the baby? Would she have abortion?

About STDs, if you are in an exclusive relationship, both of you should take a STD test before going raw. And to answer your question: doing it raw feels awesome.

One last thought:
Quote:
After the last time we had protected sex, she immediately turned her back on me afterwards because I refused to try without the condom. She angrily said to me that I should not be afraid and that she wants to feel me inside her.
THAT is called emotional blackmail, and I would never stay anywhere near a person who would do that.

In short: if STDs is your concern, take a test and evaluate how much you can trust your partner to protect herself (and therefore you too) from STDs. If pregnancy is your concern, ask her to get birth control. And bottom line: you SHOULD NEVER let a girl have you do something you don't want to do.
Quite certain the legal system would see different and make your stupid ass pay child support


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 07, 2017 1:22 am 
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I don't see what the big deal is. If you don't trust her, why are you exclusive?

Your woman asked to feel you, and you acted like a teenage boy. That's why she turned her back.

It also sounds like you might have some germ phobia/paranoia issues.

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Last edited by Arch Stanton on Tue Feb 07, 2017 2:21 am, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Tue Feb 07, 2017 1:27 am 
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This sounds like more of an issue around trust than anything else.


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 07, 2017 6:39 am 
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Quote:
Quite certain the legal system would see different and make your stupid ass pay child support
In the States maybe... In France you are allowed to legally refuse paternity tests, therefore denying to the prosecution the only proof they need to formulate their claim that the child is yours.

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PostPosted: Tue Feb 07, 2017 10:09 am 
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Quote:
I don't want the risks of picking up STDs or for her to get pregnant. We are both not ready for children.
The fear of picking up STDs would make sense if the context would be a random one night stand, but this is your girlfriend you're talking about.
How is someone your girlfriend without you knowing whether or not they carry a fucking disease? lol
Quote:
She described the experience like the sensation of receiving a blowjob without the condom. After one second of penetrating, I can withdraw and cum over her tummy. Surely some cum can leak out before the ejaculation. I believe, this will be enough to get her pregnant.
You don't just magically explode one second in because you're not wearing a condom. And no, cum doesn't "leak" out before ejaculation. If you're having sex, you should know that.
Precum "can" carry some live swimmers, but only under specific circumstances (you having already came very recently). And even then, the chances of her getting pregnant from that are similar to winning the lottery.
Even condoms state they're only 99.9% safe.

Also, stop having sex in missionary. Seriously. And stop using the word tummy. Nobody should be using the
word tummy if they're old enough to have sex.
Quote:
She said it will be difficult to get pregnant at the first attempt and she is not keen on the idea of continuing to practice safe sex. I used latex-free condom as this is what she preferred in the first place.
It's not hard to get a girl pregnant but it's not that easy. Just don't cum inside, unless she's on birth control.
Quote:
After the last time we had protected sex, she immediately turned her back on me afterwards because I refused to try without the condom. She angrily said to me that I should not be afraid and that she wants to feel me inside her.
Your stance on the subject is either highly unrealistic or highly uninformed, but either way, I can see why it would be frustrating.
Quote:
I can't believe that my girlfriend is suggesting this. I don't know what to do. I feel like that she may be trying to trap me into a long term relationship if we have children. I really don't know what her game is. Is there a difference in what a lady feels during protected or unprotected sex?
Typically I'd ask why you're dating a girl you clearly don't trust, but trust is not the issue here.
Please be a critical thinker above all. She didn't suggest sacrificing a virgin to Satan. She suggested unprotected sex. Couples having unprotected sex is common. And it's definitely nothing to be shocked by.

Personally I've been using the pull out method for as long as I can remember with anyone holding the gf title. No kids were ever conceived.

I'm not advocating you do the same. Make your own choice, but please make it based on information, and not lack of it.

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