I never get this whole culture/religon excuse, because if you DID value your culture and religon, you wont be fucking this girl. Its hypocritical to fuck a girl before marriage, but act like a girl who fucks before marriage is this and that. You DON't value a virgin, because if you did, you wouldve waited. Thats like saying "I value honesty, thats why the chick I'm cheating on my gf with and who is cheating on her bf...we are completely honest with each other." No, well in that case you dont value honesty.

Again, I dont know whats the deal with who she is friends with. If you find it disrespectful, just leave. Makes no sense giving an ultimatum or trying to bring it up, as if the chick wouldnt just be friends behind your back.
She already lied to you. Either walk or drop it. I gotta laugh when you when you say there's a chick who hides her phone, cusses you out, adds dudes you dont like on social media, and you somehow think she isnt fucking around. Put it this way; a chick who doesnt respect you, who is already used to hiding who she is fucking in a SOCIETY, cant hide who she is fucking from her fbuddy who she doesnt respect? I dont know if she is or not, im just saying the respect is long gone, so you might as well accept that this chick dont give a shit.

This "relationship" isnt working; and you need it to work more than she does. Simple maturity was needed on your part out in public, but the shit been dysfunctional for a while. You cant trust her, she doesnt respect you, she doesnt care about you, you dont care abt her. Where is this going?

I'll just say this, maybe it will help someone else. Its simple, guys, if a girl threatens violence...walk. She doesnt respect you and you've introduced hitting in the relationship. That aint no joke. Either she eventually hits you, or you hit her and get locked up. If a chick tries to introduce another guy during a fight even if its to make you jealous...walk. Shes showing you that she knows another guy fucking her is gonna hurt you if she isnt already fucking around to keep things balanced in her head. And ladies, if a guy threatens your rep to hurt you walk as well. If OP here gets dumped, as he said, he's exposing this girl. This "rs" is down the path that ends with blows, or OP leaking out her nude pics.

True true true. You said some spot on things. You and JackZero really cleared my head. I appreciate you two.

I'm just going to wait now to hear from her, like Jack said, as I already agreed this morning that we can talk this weekend. I'm letting her be the one to initiate the fixing of things since it's ALWAYS me fixing things. Literally not once has she tried reaching out to me when things were rocky. I can't be wrong 100% of the time. So I'll wait to hear from her.

Thank you 2 again. You guys are FUCKING smart! I'll keep you posted.

UPDATE!!!

She just texted me saying about how everytime she wants to let me go she can't, and it's weird. She sees a beautiful happy future for us. She just doesn't know about now bc it's too much for her. She did something which made her feel sure that we were right for each other in this future and she knows that it's the right choice.

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IDK how to respond lol. This is good though. I'ma ask her what she did maybe... <--- PLEASE ADVISE!

I know where she's coming from when she says "she doesn't know about now". She's only 18 and I think things were going a little too fast. I'm 25... if she was a few years older, i.e., out of college we'd be at least engaged right now. I know when I was younger I wasn't even THINKING about relationships. However, I do want a relationship with her. I'm kinda tired of this "We're going to act practically like we are in a relationship but not actually be in one". I know I may have been a bit of a insecure control freak in the past which probably initially triggered this. I used to get pissed when she mentioned other guys and shit. If she went to lunch with her girlfriends and guyfriends, etc. SMH Middle Eastern Guys sometimes lol.

I know Neo is going to jump in and say something like it's b/c she wants to fuck other guys right now. No lol. She ain't like that. She has the same values, grew up in the same culture and religion as me. She knows at the end of the day if she wants to do anything with other guys that it's over. And if she did want to I'm 99% sure she'd break it off completely with me first. In our culture a women's purity is valued A SHIT TON MORE than a guys. She knows I have a past. I know she doesn't have one. GREAT! If she were a western girl then YES I'd fully agree that the bitch is hoeing around! However, you're really reaching for conclusions because of the type of girls you have experience with. You haven't dated anyone from my country b/c the majority of girls from my country have the mentality of "He's not from my country. Why should I even talk to him. There's no future." Etc. There are that 1% that might run off with someone that's not from the same place, maybe just wanna fuck around to fuck around while they ruin their families name etc, and the reason they do so is because of their poor upbringing starting from a child. These types are easy to spot. My girl ain't one of them.

EDIT: SHE JUST TEXTED ME AGAIN SAYING "I really want you to come over right now". Nigga I got work in the AM and I'm waiting for my brothers JackZero and R.C. to respond before I respond to you!!! BROS BEFORE HOES!!!

You keep ignoring the truth and talking about culture because you want to feel like this is some special situation. I dont know middle eastern chicks, and all this talk about her upbringing....

is it your culture that the woman threaten to hit the man?
Is it your culture that the woman threaten to leave the man?
Is it your culture that the woman, add another guy on instagram to piss off the man?
Is it your culture that the woman shit on the man?

You keep talking like this chick is different, I'm not seeing that. In fact, she is doing things that the worse WESTERN girls do.
She didnt know it would be over if she said she would hit you? She didnt know it would be over if she didnt unfriend your enemy? She didnt know it would be over if she said it would be over?

I'm not seeing a difference. You keep talking like she is different from her UPBRINGING, when her ACTIONS are simply DISRESPECTFUL and the worse Western girl stereotype. Maybe Jack and RC will see something different and can explain that, I'm just seeing a fucked up complicated relationship, with an immature chick. I dunno, do the women just have no sexual history but beat the men and talk rude to them or something?

You dont value yourself and the advice is the same as with any other guy. You NEED this to work, and you prize a chick by her resume, not her actions. When you gotta say "we have daily problems and fights" but then "we would be engaged right now" that just means you dont care that she does or what her actions her or what the relationship really is. I'm sorry but this is like any other guy who comes here trying to figure out how to make something work that isnt.


I'll ask this question, if in your CULTURE, she needs to have no sexual past, she risked that 100% on you, and she is the one ready to leave, what does that say? I mean call me crazy, but if I were her, and in your "culture" I wouldnt want to fuck it up with the guy who took my virginity. I wouldnt be talking rudely to him and I wont be adding his enemies to piss him off. Because common sense would tell me, hey flexbro might break up with me, then itll be harder to find a man because I'm "used" goods now. I dunno how on earth you have all this power and advantage in the situation and SHE is the one cussing you out and saying she wants out. Thats like marrying a chick to give her her green card and she's cussing you before the process is finalized. This chick doesnt act like she's in middle eastern society. She seems to have alot more power than you.

If you have work then you shouldn't be going and she should understand that. Now that you didn't bite with the games she's playing, she's acting really immature. Culture aside, I'm not sure why you want to deal with this and this is her trying to make things right. She knows you had a problem with how she acted and she refuses to acknowledge it. Why do you need to go to see her if she can't be mature enough to say that she's sorry. If she can't even say it, it's unlikely that she can fix that behavior.

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I haven't responded to her. I was thinking of just saying "I can come over tonight". But if I do so I should stick to my guns and talk about things right? Not get caught off guard about how she sees a future, blablabla, etc. I should stick to what the real issues are, at least first?'

Or maybe I text her exactly what you said to set the frame right if she does want me to come over. "You know I have a problem with the way you acted and you are refusing to acknowledge it. Why do I need to come see you if you can't even be mature enough to say you're sorry? If you can't even say you're sorry it is unlikely that you're going to fix that behavior".

I'm having a hard time trying to help you with this because there are two things going on. It's her being immature and not treating you correctly. Then there's you that would hang on by a thread to fix it instead of looking out for yourself first. IMO, if were really bothered by the situation enough then you wouldn't be having this problem right now because your self-esteem would be kicking you in your ass for putting up with it. I can't get into the culture of it because I don't understand the mindset. I'd rather have a girl that has been with other men who would treat me like a king rather than virgin that doesn't know how to treat me or care to figure it out.

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For me it's like I don't mind teaching her because she has a clean resume. I taught the girl how to kiss. I taught her everything physical. I don't mind giving her a book to read with the title of "How to treat your man right" or something like that so she learns. If she's unwilling to learn we'll then I can't do crap about that and don't really have any choice but to move on. Note, do you recommend any books where she can learn how to treat me in a relationship?

Also I just texted her "I can come tonight" she responded "I'm free tomorrow." Bleh I don't want to always go with when she's free. I swear I feel like this chick does these type of things on purpose just so she feels she has control. How should I respond?

EDIT: Just remembered it's my cousin's graduation tomorrow. IDK when I'll be free tomorrow honestly. Should I tell her I'm available Sunday?

Teaching someone how to do something physical is different than teaching someone how to be who they are. She's made it 18 years of her life and every moment of that time contributed to her current personality.

I know a lot of guys will get on here saying that you can force behavior change but that's simply not true. She has to want the change herself and as long as you keep showing up and hoping things will work out with time or some sort of tactic, she has no real reason to change because at the end of the day you are still there. She can threaten you and disrespect you because she knows that she has a guy that will be there regardless of her behavior. Do you think that she would act out like that with a guy that would hand her her things and tell her to have a nice life when she truly believes that they have a future together?

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True. Well she did reach out to me this time to fix things. I'll give it 1 last shot because of so. And for the reason that I was inconsiderate of possibly damaging her reputation. I can acknowledge where I was wrong and she needs to do the same.

I'll see how our next conversation in person goes and make a decision from there. Things I want to address.

1) The day of the fight.

2) Why she followed that guy on IG when she was supposed to slowly cut it off.

3) Acting suspicious with her phone.

4) (I didn't mention this earlier and not sure if I should) But apparently some guy was trying to get at her, she told me, (Showed me a pic of his ugly ass too and said "Here look at this you'll feel better") and I asked her to stop talking to him and she agreed. I did here her say that she got pissed at him once after she agreed to stop talking to him. Apparently he threatened to leak a middle eastern girls nude pics to her husband and she was like "why tf would you do that?" I know they have class together so it's a good chance she heard him talk about it in class. However, is it okay for your girlfriend to talk to another guy that is tried to get at her even if they share the same class?

Lastly, Ima tell her I'm available tonight or Sunday.

UPDATE----

Me: Next time I'm free is Sunday
Her: Okay. Then well plan something next week.
Me: Okay
Her: Enjoy your weekend

EDIT: Now she's agreeing to meet up tonight, but LATE at night like 11:30-12. I'm going to reject that offer as it's too late. I think she may be doing this on purpose because she thinks that I'M going to go out tonight and do god knows what... Such a weird time for her to pick, but that's what my gut is telling me.

She texted me again at 11 PM and 2 AM this morning, starting with the 11 PM one

Her: I'm still free if you want to meet. If not it's cool too.
Her: If you're not busy. I need 5 mins of your time. Call me as soon as you have a chance. It's kinda urgent.

I have yet to respond...

Edit: I responded that I can meet her right now and she replied no sorry I can't.

Couple hours pass she calls me and texts me twice telling her to call her ASAP and that "we have a problem". SMH. The only proper response I can think of is "I'm not going to have convos with you until this issue is addressed". Or should I not even respond?

She continued to blow up my phone saying how Ima regret it if I don't answer vlablavla. Then she texted me "You know what. Fuck it. I was just gonna let u know that my mom knows. But since you don't care to reply. I'm gonna deal with it myself. Have a great life (my name)."

She started blowing up my phone, all this fiasco happened in 1 hours worth of time

EDIT: Correction. Less than 30 min to be exact.

Okay so now my fam is asking me why I'm with this girl and how it's a big sin to date, blablabla? How tf did my fam find out? Maybe the middle eastern girl that saw us the other day told everyone. Jeez IDK what to do at this point or how to respond to my girl. Please advise!

If you want her, met up with her, have sex and stop all the god damn meta-relationship talk.

It's all supposed to be fun.

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I guess if you'd been a bit considerate of her reputation, and followed her advice, nobody would've found out, huh?
It's interesting how you screw yourself over when you're busy mistreating someone else...well you have to come up with something now...good luck!