Jack's right.

In short, this girl is having her cake and eating it too. She won't ever be relationship material for you 1) she takes no accountability (largely because she's never had to as you're willing to bend over backwards), and 2) you're suppressing your needs for her and it'll only be a matter of time before she withdraws again so you shutup and capitulate.

Healthy relationships are when both partners are responsive to each other, don't condemn, punish, or push each other away. In other words, they meet each others needs and the dynamic is one of openness.

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You gotta understand OP, when a guy comes with a relationship, that started with the chick wanting out, he gets into a rs with the chick, and within 3 months, they've essentially broken up or she's on her way out MULTIPLE times, what other advice is there?

Here's the thing, your neediness is still there. Now, maybe you have one of those attachment styles (n2's area) where you are attracted to girls you need to chase. The very fact that this girl is the one you want to commit to, means you're coming from a weaker position, as you NEED it to work more than she does. SHE's rare for you, YOU'RE not rare for her. She can walk. You can't. That need, is always going to make you FEARFUL of loss. So maybe you're getting more "IOI's" now. But soon, something will come up where you wont know whats up.

You prize this chick, not from her actions. Because if her actions were "amazing" enough to call her "amazing" your needs would be met. For eg, I wont call an employee "amazing" when he's not doing the job. He could be from Harvard, have the best references and business attire, if my expectations of him arent being met, he's not an "amazing" employee. You prob are a bit controlling, my thing is say the chick is amazing when she deserves it. Like say she's amazing when she shows she prioritizes you. Say she's amazing when she wants to spend thanksgiving with you and tells her cousin or whatever, hey Piortro is special to me, if your bf isnt coming thats your business, Piortro is coming. PS, no bfs or husbands are at this Thanksgiving thing? Say she's amazing when even though she's drunk she tells the guy to fuck off. See, if its too soon for her to do XYZ, ok...but you cant call her amazing because the sex is wild. At least not with respect to a gf. I could never say it seems like this person is trying to keep things unequal between us...then go on to call them amazing. Amazing at what? Playing games?

Truth be told, to your original question, chick is giving you a chance after possessiveness. Ok. Well another simple solution, is just speak to her while all this "restructuring" of the relationship was happening. tell her "hey, you were right, blah blah (all that stuff abt seeing each other less and not texting at work). Also, I moved to fast with my affection and shouldnt have expressed those things abt not being able to recover, and spending life with you. With the other changes, I'll back off with that stuff." Now, thats simple. Your affection/interest was way too high hence caused possessiveness. With being less possessive, you also must pull back naturally from the other stuff. If she is either not mature enough, or unselfish enough to understand that you're slowing down and cant be clingy as you were, then you have your answer.

Thanks for great responses guys! Helped me to look at the thing from different angle.
So this is exactly what I pretty much did and last two weeks were awesome. Probably the best in our relationship. But yesterday we had a quite big fight. I got angry and pointed out she is not meeting some of my needs even though I did everything to address her need for freedom, having her own life, pulled back and stopped being controlling and possessive. She threatened me to leave again (in fact she even dropped "I am deleting your phone number, and blocking you on social media, etc.). And at this point something cracked in me and I was finally ready to go away. I packed her stuff from my apartament in the box and when she came after fight (fight was over phone/texts) to talk and make up, I told her that I am ready for this to be over and she can take her stuff and as far as I am concerned we can never see each other again.

She was shocked. She started crying, telling me that she really tries and that nothing is enough for me and nothing will be enough proof for me that she loves me. After some talking and her seeing that I am super serious about it and in fact ready to walk away, I told her that after she threatened me again and after seeing that even if I meet her needs, she still wouldn't meet mine which made me finally come to the conclusion that we are not compatible and this will never be a Hollywood love story.

I told her that I still like seeing each other, spending time together and that I am happy for us to become non-exclusive again and make it casual. She said that she cannot stand the idea f me being with another woman, that she needs at least one of us to believe that this can be serious and life-long thing and that she thinks that we could have been the loves of each others lives if we didn't fight so much and we were just more patient with each other. She started apologizing for the way she made me feel and promising she will think now more about her actions and how she makes me feel.

Basically once I was ready to walk away she just gave up everything I wanted from her (well let's see about that but at least she promised to do so and said she understands what she did wrong and if she delivers on what she promised then my needs would be fully met).

Completely don't know how I feel about all this. From one hand I am glad that it turns out that after all I am quite rare for her as well - just the dynamics I have set up by being all over her gave her all the power and allowed her to act like she has me in the pocket. On the other hand I am quite angry that it came so easy for her to give away all the stuff I wanted and was asking for and was trying to get by being an amazing boyfriend to her (putting lot of effort, being creative with dates, taking my time to think thoroughly through what she loves in bed and how to please her best without her having to say what she is in mood for). Being awesome (and I mean last two weeks when I was really awesome, dominating and leading and not previously when I was too weak and talking about feelings) would not get her to give me what I want, but walking away did. That really makes me angry.

I don't know what I should do now. On one hand neo87 is completely right - I do have " one of those attachment styles (n2's area) where I am attracted to girls I need to chase". I need to be put to work. I need to be made work. I need to be kept sharp. I am same in my work environment - most efficient with tight deadlines and in crisis situations. If i get everything for free I am bored. So I do know that girl like that, girl that will have me chasing her all the time, is able to keep my attraction for very long long time. All my other long-term relationships have ended (I have ended them) because I got bored and couldn't stand (ironically) the excessive attention of the other person and that I get everything for free.

On the other hand - the idea that I will be sitting on this relationship like on the ticking bomb, that I will have to have my guard up all the time, that I will have to be gaming her all the time in order to get what I want, I will have to be ready to walk away all the time and won't be able to loosen for a moment, immerse myself in this and just forget even for a moment that I cannot be too expressive with my feelings... All that does not sound too appealing for me.

Completely unsure now whether I should give her a chance to prove she can meet my needs or just walk away now. Ugh. Now I know that if I will be acting like over last 2 weeks + be ready to walk away and actually walk away if she threatens me again, then I can keep this in control and she will give me what I want and I can have awesome time like I had over last 2 weeks. But I don't know if this is what I want to do - I need to be put to work, but this seems like a really big amount of effort for me to consistently act this way last over last two weeks and be able to walk away at every single point...