I met this amazing girl on Tinder in early August. We instantly had a connection and went on holiday the next day! The relationship developed rapidly, spending most nights together and meeting each others parents. I'm 31 and she's 24, despite the 7 year age gap, we have an amazing connection. Unfortunately over the last month we have become more distant and I have questioned if she's been cheating on me or not. This is something that I'm now unsure of, as she has also had a massive amount of pressure from her work and has also had to sit some final exams. I checked her phone two weeks ago and found nothing, all communications were for business, family and friends. No cheating! Unfortunately I was caught checking this phone. The trust has gradually reduced since then. This weekend she spent Friday, Saturday and Sunday night away from me! We only saw each other for around two hours on Saturday afternoon (this was arranged after she called me at 0730 on Saturday morning, from what sounded like a taxi!). I received no messages from her after 2000 on friday. She claimed that she was at a friends house until 0300 catching up after exams and then slept at home. I explained that the lack of communication was unacceptable and that I expected at least a good night text, explaining that she was home for her own safety. She seemed OK with this. She went out on Saturday night for a friends Birthday and texted me goodnight via SPAM at 0413. On sunday she spent the day with a friend and said that she would also spend Sunday night with a friend. I was very suspicious of this! Why would you not want to spend at least one night with your boyfriend over the course of a weekend! I decided that if she didn't respond to my messages on Sunday, then she was probably cheating and with another man. She didn't respond! I was in tatters! I decided to go and check if her car was parked at her apartment, it wasn't (both daytime and late night). Now I was really in a mess and decided to go and knock on her door early in the morning at 0700. If she wasn't there, then I was convinced that she was a cheat, as she was spending Sunday night with another guy. Well I went round in the morning, and she wasn't in!! I also tried to call her and she didn't answer!!!! I then left the vicinity of her apartment and went to a local starbucks to get a coffee and cool off, I was close to tears at this point. I really thought this was the one, we had such a connection. How could this be happening to me? How could I, a 31 year old alpha male, let a Girl get to me like this. I'm normally Mr Cool and have never been like this about ANY girl before. I felt so needy. Whilst I was in starbucks she texted me to say that she didn't answer the call as she was getting ready for work, and was now at work and would call me later on. I immediately texted back saying that she was dumped and accused her of cheating. She immediately denied this via text. I replied saying that if she was for real, she would phone immediately. She did! I said to her on the phone that I set very high standards for my life and the people that I surround myself with, and that she had failed to meet those standards, in terms of time spent together on the weekend, communication and possible cheating. I told her to come around mine at 7 pm if she wanted to chat and move forward. She agreed.

She came around at 7pm, dressed in a short skirt, high heel boots and wearing make up. Questionable outfit, for a meeting of this type???? I asked her what was up and what she was feeling? She said that she had been under a lot of stress during the past couple of weeks as she had found out that she was going to loose her job and also had to pass a difficult final exam! She said that spending regular time and communicating with me on a regular basis had been difficult, especially as it seemed that everyone else wanted something from her! Her work and also fellow students in regards to the exams. She then said that she didn't think it would work between us, as too much "stuff had now happened between us". She suggested breaking up and I said, before you do that I want to ask you some questions. I then spent ten minutes asking her questions about her weekend. The answers got rid of many of my concerns. She had not answered her phone on the Sunday as she had found out from her boss that she would be dismissed from her job on the following Friday. She said that she didn't want to talk to anyone or touch her phone that day! She said that her and her friend immediately cancelled there day trip and returned back to her friends apartment (her friend is also a co-worker) . She claimed that she spent the night at her friends house, as she didn't want to go home. I also asked her if she was pregnant (one of my friends mentioned that this could be a possibility) and she said no, she had her period yesterday (would you want to be at your friends (female) house if you were having your period????). Maybe this is why she didn't want to spend any nights with me that weekend? I definitely have a higher sex drive than her, and prefer sex most nights where possible. She seems to prefer it a few times per week (once per week in the last couple of weeks).

We then hugged and talked for a bit about her loosing her job etc. She then said that she wanted us to go on a "break" and I explained that, this was OK as I was leaving for Canada tomorrow for work reasons for one week. (This happened at short notice, and she wasn't previously aware of this). I am also in London for a week after Canada, so I thought a break of two weeks would be acceptable. No conditions were set down for the break (mistake I think!). We then cuddled and kissed for a bit and she left.

I've now abstained from contacting her for two days, and heard nothing from her. This is painful, but I believe that if she wasn't cheating and wants me, then she will be back. I've decided that one of two things has happened here: 1.) She really is a cheat and won't be back, she will be gone for dust! 2.) She wasn't cheating, is still in love with me and will be back.

In the meantime I've decided to do something to sharpen my communication skills, so that if we do get back together, then we won't face a break down in communications again!

So people do you think she's a cheat??

Needy as fuck

Also, Lol at all those confirmation points you had. "If she's not answering...she's cheating..." "well if she didnt answer and she's not home...she's cheating"..."well if she's not answering and not home...IF she's not home at 6...she's cheating!" "If she doesnt call me back...she's cheating." Make a fucking decision.

Story is suspicious and if I had to guess I'd say she was. But whatever the case, its over. You'll give her one more "chance" or act like it matters.

So you've known her for a month, huh?

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You almost spent more time writing this post than you did being with her.
Well that escalated quickly. Aaaaaaand there it is. 31 year old grown ass man and you're snooping through your girls' phone. No shit her trust dwindled. She though she was dating a man and it turns out it's just a pubescent teenager.
Lol. That bullshit is so paper thin a 10 year old could see through it. For her own safety. She's 24 years old, I'm pretty sure that by this age she doesn't need someone holding her hand to cross the damn street.
What you want is knowing the exact time she got home. Her safety is not the issue, your neediness to control her is.

Probably because your boyfriend is, on an emotional maturity level, a manchild.
You drove to her house to check if she's there? A girl you've been dating for one month? You were close to tears? for a girl you've been dating ONE MONTH?
Sure. I mean if snooping through her phone, checking up on her house, demanding good night texts and being emotionally 12 isn't alpha, I don't know what is.

Alpha male.. lmao.

Is this a serious question?
That's so strange. I wonder how your insecure and controlling behavior didn't turn her on.
I guess I shouldn't be surprised you don't know a break is the way you breakup with people that can't handle adult life.
Look man, she probably was cheating. And if she was - good on her. Because she dodged a bullet with you. You are in no way shape or form capable of handling a relationship.
And if she wasn't cheating, she was desperately looking for an out. Either way she ain't coming back.
Loyalty is something to be earned and once you do you need to keep be deserving of it. Any girl in her right mind would have been looking for other option after the shit you did.

Grow the fuck up Alpha man.

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This is what happens with most guys, even attractive ones. 99% of the time, women do the dumping. And they do it because men get needy and controlling.

Demanding she sleep over, incessant "check up texts", these are all attraction killers.

Be the FUN guy. Be the guy that is a bright light in her daily routine. You do this by teasing her, being playful, leading in the bedroom and minimizing your texting to maximize time spent in person. If you do this, you won't get dumped like you did here.

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Dude, she's losing her job, has a tough test and you want her to think about you 24/7?

You've also been dating for a month or two. And you expect her to act like she's been dating you for 1 year.

I thought the beginning of the relationship you don't display all your cards out.

I thought women were needy but my goodness, so are men.

Hi Guys,

Thank you so much for the feedback over the past week. Alot of this is super true! Be warned, this is what happens when you meet someone who you view as end game, this is dangerous territory. I can see now that I was being extremely needy and this was very unattractive!

+1

Ok. So what are you doing about it?