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I'll skip the insignificant details but here's the rundown. I've been exclusive with a girl since around January 2016. We have been dating since September 2015.
So for that September - January timeframe, I have been seeing other women. She is aware. She doesn't even care, we weren't exclusive then so it was fair game.
She is one of the sweetest girls I have ever met. A great match for my own personality. We've had a great relationship so far if I'm being honest. Never argued once, nor being in any fights.
We have a very, what I consider, healthy style. We will show each other attractive people as we walk on the street, we will joke around about whether or not we will take him/her home, she is extremely aware and open about her feelings. Communication is on point.
The problem is she has a bit of an insecurity issue. It's really nothing major or something I can't live with. She's mainly jealous on my previous fuck buddy. I've been "dating" this girl since February 2015 to, well, September.
But we were legit fuck buddies and also good friends. We had fun together but we also worked at the same office and we never really considered it a good idea to get serious.
I always pictured the though of exclusivity with her really weird. The relationship we had developed simply wasn't compatible with that and we were both happy with what we were, although we did spend a lot of time together. We were just really good friends that fucked whenever. Fuck buddies yeah?
However my current girlfriend isn't having that. She says it's impossible for neither side to have had feelings involved. She wouldn't be wrong, typically speaking that is the case. But not now. The last time I had sex with this girl is October 2015. My gf knows as this. She's fine with this. Fair game remember?
But, in her words, she's jealous because xfb's "hot af". Which is true, but she's just as if not better.
Her other indicative that we may have not been just fb's is the fact that we went on vacation together, just the two of us. Which we did, but it wasn't planned as such. There was supposed to be a bigger group of people who just fucked off like it generally happens when you try to organize shit like this and we were not going to have a vacationless 2015 summer. So we went, just her and I. It was great.
So as you can probably tell our relationship is very transparent. I'm honest with her and I don't really hide details even if they may give the wrong impression. I am who I am.
However her jealousy of xfb isn't really toxic. She often makes fun of it herself. Cool girl yeah? xfb lives near a McDonalds so my gf always makes it a point to ask me whether or not I've been binging on any Happy Meals lately. All in good fun.
Really the only issue I'm having is when she's going through stressful times. Right now for example she has some huge deadline on Monday, and she tends to spiral down in this cases. She gets hyperventilated and a bit insecure. She is still very emotionally honest. She tells me she sometimes thinks there was more between me and xfb, and she wouldn't want to find out I'm actually visiting McDonalds even after we went exclusive.
I don't even talk to exie all that much even though we work together. No bad blood there, but I assume it's just the normal development of our "relationship" given that we're both now dating in serious relationships.
We had another episode at a party with her friends. I only knew a few of them, so I was being social. However two girls there were massively crushing on me. I knew but I was just trying to socialize without giving them much lure. My girl wasn't having any of their flirting and was shooting subtle arrows towards them each change she got. Again, nothing overtly hostile, just marking her territory I assume.
We later talked about it, I told her she was right and that I know they were hitting on me. She commented that she would've appreciated had I not reciprocated, but I told her I was trying to be nice to the new people. She eventually said I was right.
But this is also a topic that gets brought up when she's under huge stress. It happens very rarely. Maybe once a month. However I'd like to prevent this from becoming a norm. I'm not a fan of being reminded what happend 3 years, 2 months and 151925 seconds ago. I don't want it to become draining. Especially when nothing happened to begin with.
I could out right just not have any of it either, but that's not the way. I want her to get over it, I don't want her to just not talk about it and self destruct on the inside.
I'd appreciate some advice.
dude heywood is right. you got yourself something there, not all girls can handle or tolerate their man flirting with other women right in front of them. my girlfriend allows me because she can handle it. and i have to agree with heywood. it does turn them on. they love to know other women desire what they have. you just have to make sure that you take her home and fuck her good. and i mean really hard, let her know who owns her pussy.
i also had the same situation as you with my girlfriend and an xfb. let me tell you this, if the xfb doesn't bring anything to your table that you really value. just talk to her and let her know whats going on. limit the friendship to minimum contact. then air everything out with your gf and clear things up. it worked for me.
as for the mcdonalds jokes, my gf does the same, i just turn it into a sarcastic joke or turn it into a fantasy and blame her for wanting to fantasize about it. we usually end it laughing.
CHAT