If you're bipolar, tell your gf. Either your condition affects the relationship, or it doesnt. If you're bipolar, and your moods affect the relationship, she'll leave anyway. If you tell her early, at least you can screen for a woman who is willing to understand your condition and work with you. What fucks you up is if you're bipolar, you have mood swings, it affects the relationship and then one day you tell her like its a surprise. Then when she leaves, you say oh she left me because I TOLD her im bipolar...no she left because of your mood swings. Few women are going to leave you for telling them about something that is not ruining the relationship.

It's not lying to a new girl to not tell her you have a fucked up family or whatever the case may be, but what it is doing is destroying the interaction. These kinds of private reveals are earned, not just given out like candy to every girl I meet.

I think the same.

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Carpe Diem, Dolce Vita...

Psychal power comes through Mental strenght.

It IS lying if asked. Now I never meant that while you and a girl are talking about favorite food places, you blurt out that your fam is fucked up. That is in poor taste and unrelated. But if she asks whats your family like, you shouldnt be afraid to say my fam is fucked up. Being honest, doesnt mean going into a 30 minute story. But it doesnt mean you have to hide to appear perfect or not to kill the vibe. If a girl asks "whats your fam like?" you can easily say "haha, my family is soooooo fucked up." She laughs too, its no big deal. Then she says "thats no bad, my family is great" and the convo continues.

Talking POSITIVELY about something can destroy the interaction if done out of place. If I'm on a date and spend 20 mins talking about my favorite TV show, that can kill it. Same thing if I spend 20 mins talking about fucked up family if its not that kind of conversation. What I'm saying is you shouldnt be afraid to say anything if it comes up, and you can express yourself whether talking about good stuff or bad stuff.

I wish I could really see something that I'd say, hmm..I'd be reluctant to tell a girl THAT. And even on a strategic level, telling a girl something that most guys would hide, actually is attractive, because it conveys you dont care what her perception of you is.

All depends on the energy you're doing it out of.

Agreed.
We're on the same page as usual Neo. This lighthearted, light on the depth reply is a far cry from revealing one's personal wounds in a deep manner to someone you're just getting to know.
True, for instance it is enjoyable to call out one's flaws. This is an overlooked area. An entire book could be written on being real like this. It is a huge interrupt from most guys who only try to show themselves in the most favorable light which is highly obvious to the woman that they are doing this.

In terms of going into areas that are deeply personal, again I don't give that out to anyone and everyone. Some people do and they even use this strategically or even make shit up to seem dark or to seem funloving or whatever the case may be. Everyone has their own limits and their own way of going about things I guess. Peeps can agree or disagree to the different approaches until the cows come home but as the overused saying says, 'it is what it is'.

Agreed ocean

To dicemaster, you have to understand that a woman will not leave you for your past/conditions if you show you are conquering them. For eg, many girls would like if the guy they are with has a good relationship with their mother. They think that how a guy treats his mother, can affect his view of women. Let's say your mom and my mom were shitty mothers, alcoholics or some shit and neither of us are close to our moms today. You and I are both dating the same girl. You have never conquered your issues and hurt from your mom, so when you date this girl you comment on how women have it easier than guys with dating, you make jabs at feminism, you talk some of that MGTOW stuff. Women pick up that stuff. She gets the idea that you're a fun guy but may have some issues with women. Now, I've gotten over my mother issues, when she (the girl we're dating) and I talk, I empathize with her on women being judged as sluts, I mention that my sister and I are close, I speak nicely of past relationships. Despite my history, I've kept a good view of women. Now lets say the girl brings up the question of our relationship with our mothers. Both of us tell her we had shitty mothers that we dont talk to. She hears YOUR answer and with the bigger picture, this confirms that you're damaged. She stops dating you. She hears MY answer and with the big picture, is astonished that my outlook of women is so positive despite my past. She stays with me and actually is more impressed. My point is, if you have issues or you're damaged and carrying baggage, that bleeds into relationships somehow. So instead of trying to hide these things, work on them and come out stronger. For everything that you may be afraid to tell a girl, you'll see that its because you're still a victim to them.

You have some right points dude. In my last relationship, i did, told everything to her. Somehow i tought, things that i ve spoken, affected her bad. Since 2 months, i m thinking like freak what did i do wrong. This point, i mean opening yourself to your gf could be harmful. Personelly i do not like to show my wounds. It could be some defence mechanism against bad. I would like to share it, when i ll find someone to understand me.

This baggage effects also like you said. I ll keep my private stuff till i ll find someone worthy.

_________________
Carpe Diem, Dolce Vita...

Psychal power comes through Mental strenght.

Surprisingly sensible.

Open up to a psychologist. .

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In a funk? Read this

pua-lounge/the-importance-patience-this ... his%20game

Dicemaster, you miss the point. No disrespect but this is just the truth. You are obsessed with manipulating women. You're insecure, concerned with power games, and have been hurt by women and never fully healed. Your last relationship ended after a month, because by your own words, you used and manipulated the girl. So you'll continue to use and manipulate women, show your insecurities, but not tell them about your baggage like it's not seeping from you, they'll leave after recognizing that you're using them, you'll get hurt more, more manipulation, more women gone.....

My point is, your focus should be on fixing your issues. Whether a woman hears verbally that you have baggage or not, doesnt matter, she'll see it as you continue these patterns of manipulation. You have to break the cycle somehow, come to grips with your past, let the pain go, see yourself as enough or improve yourself to that point where you really are confident. Hiding your baggage verbally, just keeps you from having to address your issues. What is a "worthy" chick for your private stuff? A girl who you will manipulate and hurt, then one day open up that you have baggage? You want a woman who will UNDERSTAND you? So a woman who will understand that you're manipulative and insecure and still stick around? That's most likely not going to happen. What about NOT being manipulative and insecure? You keep acting like your mindset is healthy for ANY woman to be with. Its not. And youve been told by multiple posters here that, your ex left like a ghost in the night due to your manipulations, and yet, the thing you think you need to do is not verbally tell someone you're hurt from your past, WHILE STILL SPREADING YOUR HURT TO HER.

What I'm saying is forget women dude. Work on your issues. Whether that involves therapy or something else. But dont go spreading your insecurities and pain, and just be worried that the women you're using and hurting aren't wise to where your issues originate.

I'm not saying go and tell women everything about yourself. But jeez, MEN, stop being afraid to do X.Y or Z because some chick may leave you. If you NEED a woman to stay that bad, or you NEED a woman to think your perfect, otherwise she's gone, do it...but recognize that you're needy.

Thank you for honest input. In some points you are right. But the thing is like many of them in these forum, we are dating with the girls, who mutualy shows us something. Without even thinking about second. Cuz for us timing matters. Everyone here is obsessed(me too) with timing. Hell yea i fucked a girl just in 3 hours. brave. From this point go on, we are trying to keep the relation even if it sucks. cuz we are fcking with them. That was one of huge mistakes from me. I am not talented to chose right women. I m just picking up them and fucking. So thats my wrong point. I ve deceided to sleep as much as i can till i find right woman.

From this point, i ve been with many hot but in personality defect women. Therefore i do not want to tell my private stuff. Sharing is perfect but with someone who deserves.

Like everyone, i have also some points to secure. Thanks for the post, was helping.

_________________
Carpe Diem, Dolce Vita...

Psychal power comes through Mental strenght.

Well said.

Whenever ANYONE is feeling depression, shame, guilt, and/or anger, those are feelings that block needs. Those feelings can be used as cues to ask yourself "what need, or needs of mine aren't being met?"

The way we feel is a direct product of the way we think. And when we judge, criticize, assess, or diagnose another person's behavior these thoughts affect the way we feel, and the way we act. Put another way, nobody but you is responsible for the way you feel (and think).

Guilt, Shame, or Depression where its focused inward, it is self-blame e.g. "I SHOULD have known better.." "I am so stupid!" etc.. With Anger, on the other hand, we hold other people responsible for our pain, we blame them for it as being the cause.

These upsetting feelings are ONLY valuable if you use them as an alarm clock to figure out what needs of yours aren't being met, and to then seek to have those needs met in Life-Energy Giving ways. Focusing on others as the source of our unrest is a way to not take personal accountability, it disempowers and becomes a very violent form of language in which case both people in the relationship pay dearly for.