Gentlemen,

Some of you know a little about my background, I have been in this LTR for 6 months now.

The last 12 hrs haven’t been to enjoyable and my thoughts have been focussed around the negative side between her and I, so I would like to get some insight into whether I’m being a bit of a bitch or if these are things that you guys would put up with.

So…. I will talk you though our evening together last night (which wasn’t enjoyable for me). So she has been going on about going Latin dancing together for a while now so I agree to attend a class with her last night. The class starts at 6, I’m there at 5:45 (I’m always on-time, she knows this), I get a text at 5:58 saying she is only just leaving her office and will be there in 5 mins. She is there in roughly 8 mins. When she arrives I say hello and ask how she is, she responds. I then wait a bit and say “No apology for being late?” She then apologizes and gives me a kiss. We then start the class late.

I end up having quite a good time but didn’t really like that we had to swap partners, I thought it would be a chance for her and I to spend time together as we only see each other 3 or so times a week. We then go and grab dinner after and she asks if I would like to continue doing the classes. I respond “I had fun, but it’s not something that I would be drawn to doing just for me, but will do it if she enjoys it” she says “Well I don’t want you to do it just for me” she also adds “have a think about it, if you don’t want to join me I will do the classes on my own” I didn’t like hearing that but didn’t bite. I also didn’t mention that I wanted it to be solely us dancing together in fear of coming across needy.

Now on the way back to her place from dinner we are chatting and getting on fine and the subject comes up regarding whether I could spend the night. (staying over on a w night is not something I normally do) She then says “tonight would have been a good night to stay”, and I respond with “Why would” and she says “ No, not tonight, we are starting work at different times tomorrow”. This irritated me as I would have quite enjoyed staying at her place as its closer to my office. I didn’t say it though as I didn’t want to be needy, again.

So here is the final part of a rubbish evening. We got back to hers, laying on her bed. She is being affectionate, I am very tired and can feel I am grumpy. She then says “that instructor tonight wasn’t bad looking” I then laugh slightly in shock and say “why are you saying that” to which she says “I was just looking at your muscled arms and it made me think they were similar” This wouldn’t normally cut me at all but considering the night we had already had I wasn’t in the best mood. I was mindful that I wasn’t in a good place to start venting so I didn’t react. I have thought about this since and I wasn’t happy with it, In my mind a girl that is in love won’t even look at another man, let alone find him attractive.

20 mins or so later she complains of being tired, I instantly take that as my cue an order an Uber. She senses that I am leaving a lot more hasty than I usually do and asks me if everything is ok? I said everything is fine and give her a kiss and leave.

So after this I went home. I have been having negative thoughts about our relationship and whether I like it. I feel like I have her but not as much as I would like or as much as she has me. In general she complains less, needs me less, and is on track to a better career than me.

It pains me to admit it but it scares me as I am in-love with her and feel that I have fallen harder than she has.

You are over reacting and actling like a fuckin AFC. You are sensible like girl. The question is, who has dick in this relationship. I think hers bigger then you. Crounch to the ground and try to fins your balls.

Bro firstly, who fuckin cares 3 minutes WTF. U acted like bitch at menstruel period.

About latino stuff, she should be jelaous not you. U r so insecure. Try to improve your inner game.

Instead of fuck her u tripped. Such an idiot behaviour.

Put your shit together. Do not call her so often do not be her bitch..

_________________
Carpe Diem, Dolce Vita...

Psychal power comes through Mental strenght.

Hmm...remember last yr when I told you that you shouldnt date a girl that wasnt on the same page as you? You said she was just an "alpha female." Now that same behavior is not what you want..like she wasnt always like this. This thread is just down to simple communication but big picture, I see about 5 threads on the same chick. If its causing you so many problems that you have to seek advice 5+ times in 5 months, maybe things arent working. Either way, this is just you not being suited for a certain woman.

Thanks for the response Neo.

When i post here it is focussed around personal growth and being called out when i am not acting correctly.

Are normal functioning LTR's up and down at times? We dont argue at all or disagree on much. I just feel vulnerable that she may not be as in love with me as i am with her.

U r performing every kind of AFC behaviors. Sorry dude but seem like you are right now definition of AFC.

Only problem here is, i repeat U R AFC. Act alpha, thrust me eitherway she will suck your dick harder or go away.

If u r in painfully relationship, my advice is nexting, for your own mental wellness..

_________________
Carpe Diem, Dolce Vita...

Psychal power comes through Mental strenght.

You dont argue or disagree because you hold in the things you dont like. In this story alone, you didnt like her actions multiple times but said nothing. Yeah ltrs have ups and downs, but the gist of your threads are you're frustrated, irritated and hurt, and you just brush it off. You're afraid to say whats on your mind. She's not afraid to tell you abt another guy, or say no.

As to needy, you can say what you want without being needy. If your boss says I need this report by 3pm, is he begging you, or is he communicating if this isnt done, it looks bad on you? You can tell a girl, dont mention other dudes when we're together if you're coming from a place of annoyance versus one of insecurity. Personally, I dont believe in boundaries like that, but you can communicate whats wrong in your opinion abt something.

That^

If you don't speak up about how you feel about any given situation just to avoid a disagreement which is likely inevitable, it will just create a weak relationship.

Communication is key, and if I were in that situation, assuming you in turn were dancing with another girl, I would've said something like yeah, my partner was pretty cute, she has legs like yours they were pretty nice. But then again that's like poking a sleeping bear I'm sure haha.

Ok wait up, wait up.
Neo, on this topic I highly disagree with you. In essence you're right, but there's a fine line.
He's not suited for a lot of women right now.
She's not doing anything, and I mean anything wrong.

@OP:

You're the woman of the relationship, she's the man. That's it.
Personally I'd have given her some playful shit for being late and I also wouldn't show up 15 minutes earlier on a girl I've been dating for 6 months recognizing she has a nick for being late.
Your insecurities in both yourself and the relationship shine through even the smallest of things, such as this.
3 times. Or so. Per week. How do you even have this amount of free time? Seriously. More so how are 3+ times a week not enough for you? I think you need her attention a little bit too much. And that's why you're the woman.
Every man needs a higher purpose in his life. It can be his own business, career, project, whatever. But we need something to strive for. Most men however, don't have that. And what they end up doing is making a life priority out of their girl. And we all know where that leads.
Is that who you want to be, OP?
You woman.
Who's being the leader here? it's definitely not you. Furthermore why the hell would you do something you don't particularly enjoy? If you don't like it, don't do it. If she likes it, let her do it on her own. You need a life outside your relationships and you definitely do not need to be following her around like a puppy because Her Majesty the Queen of Danatron enjoys it.
You woman.
Again, you're letting her lead. I'm sorry, let me rectify that, you're burdening her with the responsibility of leadership. She is a woman. She does not want to lead. It's her nature to follow. She is not an "alpha female". There's no such thing as an "alpha female". She's simply doing what you're not because someone has to.
Also, "feeling" irritated for things like this is what makes you needy. Not expressing it verbally. You express it non-verbally anyway and it's not something you can help.
Like neo says, if you fear coming across as needy, that in and of itself makes you needy.
You woman.
If you honestly believe this, then you're an idiot. And yet ironically enough it's true to a degree. But you're not being much of a man, are you?
If you want to experience that, you need to first put in the effort. What are you doing with you life that earns you the privilege of having a woman commit herself to you to that extent?
Really? A woman in love cannot find another man attractive? You're gonna have a bad time if you'll keep on trying to live real life through a Hollywood induced perspective.
And honestly these words should seriously not be coming out of a man's mouth.
You woman.
That would be correct. And the reason as I mentioned above is that you have no other, greater purpose.

The other guys who posted in your topic are giving you the right idea to some degree. It's always good to speak your mind, provided you're in the right. Her actions are displeasing you not because their nature - or her intentions - are in any way malicious. Because they're not. Your displeasure comes from all the nerves they hit due to your own insecurities. Because let's be honest, the idea of her suddenly dropping you tomorrow for someone else terrifies you.

Look OP, I know your ego got trashed in my post, but I honestly mean no offense by it. The purpose of this place is to help each other grow. And shoving this ice cold truth right in your face may just be the wake-up call you need.

And to summarize, yes, you are being a bitch.
Now my question to you is, are we going to do something about that?

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True. He'd prob be happier with a more lovey dovey, needy type. The only thing I think she's wrong with are the comments about the other guy, only because the history with this girl involves her trying to hit on/kiss other dudes in front of the OP, and at this pt she should have some sense to know that most guys dont want to hear about another dude when you're laying in bed. I agree nothing wrong with finding someone attractive, its just that comments like that are in poor taste if that "openly talking about attractive men/women" dynamic isnt set. Then again, maybe OP has been so passive with things like this that she assumes he's ok with her comments.

Great analysis too. I missed alot of the neediness you caught.

the answer is your question is,

A average slut costs 100bucks, your behaviours cost like 50 cent.

If u keep acting like that, u could only use your MASTUR card forever as your only option.

Your next point must be reach to 101 bucks. Do not lower your market value.

_________________
Carpe Diem, Dolce Vita...

Psychal power comes through Mental strenght.