^JD, That's not twisting someone's words lol. Twisting words is like when someone says you said X when you didnt. StinkyA made an assumption off of your advice that you dont agree with. If thats twisting words, then all rebuttals to someone would fit that as well as your interpreting their words in your own way. Just saying

To Stinky A, I don't know about you, but I wouldnt even think anything about a gf working at the bar. Its a job. If I'm worried about someone pulling her while at work, then I don't trust my gf and shouldnt be with her. Because if she would find someone at work, she cant find someone when she goes to a happy hr for an office job, or someone at an office job. If she's open the cheating, she can meet someone wherever, at the bar as a waitress, or at the office water cooler. Sure, most guys would have a problem with their gf stripping, or doing porn for money, but a waitress job...come on.

You DO KINDA make an ok pt about sharing life together, in that OP should have known she was interested in working at a bar. If I'm just dating a chick for 3 months, I'd know if she were changing jobs. If she's not that serious about things to tell me stuff like that, she's not that serious or open with me. However, OP keeps the contact limited due to fear of being needy, so my guess is things arent that serious with this chick on her side. That fear of being needy is most likely keeping them distant. But ultimatums no. Especially for a non gf. I dont know where you think at some pt in history guys were telling chicks they were dating NOT to accept certain jobs.

If I were to give an example of word twisting, it'd be something like:

JD: Giving an ultimatum is so weak

StinkyApple: Oh you're saying he should be weak and play her

But that's a whole different thing. Let's keep to the initial topic. The main issue here is that OP isn't going to have the balls to do the right thing and accept that the issue is with him, so he'll probably give the feminine and needy ultimatum, which is why it pissed me off. I used to be the controlling "nice guy" (complete prick who didn't understand women, but used "nice guy" as a way for it to not be a fault with me) and it doesn't matter how many ultimatums you give. When you remove the big problems, small things seem big... pretending the woman is at fault for getting a job is absolutely insane.

Infact, we're probably all wasting our time because I'd imagine the conversation has already happened. I often notice this with threads on this forum; 5 pages and 3 months later and we're all still trying to give advice to a guy who will probably never read the thread again. Don't let this be another one of those threads.

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I grew out of the dumb shit I used to say on here. Most of my posts don't represent who I am today at all.

So true (as I continue to post thoughts to this thread lol).

So there is no chance a charming stranger will approach her while she is happily walking down the sidewalk some day? Quite frankly if I were insecure I would be much more concerned about that than some drunk chodes down at a bar.

Don't get me wrong.

It's a cultural thing. Some guys are cool with his GF works as stripper. Others guys don't like a bar job. I know it's nothing you can compare, but it's a true thing.

I would say like, "you know, i feel like this, if you really want the job, i'm out of here", because I would not accept it(there so many other jobs out there)and I would expect that she would come and say "hey, you are away from home for too long because of your job and bla".

I would not fake it. It would hurt me and I would hurt her in the end.

If a guy has an issue with his girl working in a bar, then it's because he doesn't trust her. It's his problem, not hers, she shouldn't have to change her life because he refuses to fix his problem.

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I grew out of the dumb shit I used to say on here. Most of my posts don't represent who I am today at all.

I disagree.

If you are in a relationship, you are supposed to fill her needs, as she is supposed to fill yours. No need to hide insecurities.

Why exactly do you have a problem with a girl working at a bar? Specifically?

Nobody said anything about hiding insecurities... you can overcome something without having a little moan to your girlfriend, you know.

Before I knew much about game, my ex cheated on me. I then got moody with my new girlfriend for going to a club cause I thought she'd do the same and it made me insecure. It didn't pay off, O B V I O U S L Y. These days I don't really worry about that kind of shit. It's funny, a lot of girls know about my involvement with pick up etc so they'll actually tell me about guys approaching them, they'll say things like "this guy came up to me saying "you look like a girl who has good taste. What clubs are around here?" and it just made me cringe. It was like he'd watched a Mystery video and written down his favourite opener, finally plucked up the courage to ask it and I just rejected him" lol (one very similar to this happened on Saturday, actually, that's where I got it from.)

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I grew out of the dumb shit I used to say on here. Most of my posts don't represent who I am today at all.

Seems like you confuse wants with needs. Either way, you are making her responsible for your insecurities. For a man, that's probably the weakest thing you can do. She may not keep the job, but she won't have as much respect for you afterwards. It also sets a precedent and any time she wants to do something that she thinks will make you insecure, she'll do it behind your back. Each time she does something behind your back the less she will respect you.

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mpuaforum.proboards.com

Better than I could've put it.

Also, she'll resent you. You can reframe it to look alpha and strong all you want, but it boils down to neediness. The issue is fixed by attacking the problem head on, not avoiding it by making her quit her job.

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I grew out of the dumb shit I used to say on here. Most of my posts don't represent who I am today at all.

U'll smoother her. Real it in, do some meditation or something to get yourself in check.