Hey guys! I got a big problem, and its currently ruining my life...

So... Long story short as possible:

I have been with my girlfriend for about 5 years, and she left me last christmas. We both got into other "relationships" rather quick. But it only lasted until june, and we were back together (We still loved each other, but also the practical had a lot to do with it, with kids involved etc.). Anyway, in the start, she had a big problem spending time with me. She was just hanging with her friends all the time... The time we actually spent together, and the sex was just as normal, and great as before. But it made me really insecure about her feelings towards me, so I told her that if this was going to continue, she had to fuck off! And she did...

2 days later she's back, begging to get back together, saying things are gonna change. BUT, she tells me that yesterday she had sex with the guy she was with during spring time, and that she felt so guilty about it... I didn't care at the time actually, and took her back. Only now 4 weeks later, or maybe 5, I dont even remember, without ANY SEXUAL CONTACT WHAT SO EVER, I do fucking care! It is making me insane! Yes, she now spends time with me. Yes, now she really shows she loves me. But I can't touch her pussy or boobs, or even talk to her sexually, before she's shutting me down. Telling me she doesn't feel comfortable with it anymore, and that she feels so much guilt! She also says she hates how things is, because she knows it makes me feel bad. But she doesn't know what to do about it...

What the hell is going on? Can attraction shut down so fast? Is she telling the truth? Is she fucking the other guy? What can be done? If this keeps up, I will leave her again. Even if that is not what I really want to do, mostly because it will fuck up my life so badly right now (I really need her to take care of the kids and stuff as I am under big pressure financially, and lots of other stuff going on), but also because I still love her! Yeah, and I should probably mention that she has borderline personality disorder. And that she is currently off her meds, which also is bad for this relationship... Any help will be greatly appreciated, because I am seriously going crazy here!

Other girls will have sex with you and you won't even have to make them your girlfriend.

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mpuaforum.proboards.com

haha +1

Djesus - This is a pickup forum...Have you ever considered there is more than one girl on this planet? Also there could ones that aren't mentally unstable too. But to be honest, mentally unstable people tend to attract mentally unstable people...

Read my sig link

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USER HAS BEEN BANNED FOR REPEATEDLY IGNORING MOD WARNINGS AND MULTIPLE RULE VIOLATIONS

Haha, yeah that I know. I have actually been thinking about just fucking around, but I dont want that kind of relationship. And besides, she gets CRAZY when she finds out!

Yes, but as I said, my life situation will be bad if I have to handle all the shit that is going on right now, alone... Indeed, I have my issues too

Is the sex worth more than the drama? If you still want sex then you have to deal with the drama...there is no tactic to this situation apart from walking away...

You're just afraid to get in the trenches. Perhaps you don't believe in yourself.

She has cheated on you and you want to make it work, where is your self respect? You really shouldn't give her any of your emotional investment anymore. It won't last and you know it.

You are just dripping it dry till she put's a knife to your nuts when you wake up, one night. I understand there is kids involved but some people are just not meant to be together regardless of children, it just isn't healthy. She is your only source of sex which is why you are dealing with all this drama.

It won't last, you will be forced to be meeting new girls anyway, so why not start now than later?

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USER HAS BEEN BANNED FOR REPEATEDLY IGNORING MOD WARNINGS AND MULTIPLE RULE VIOLATIONS

No, I guess you are right...

Not afraid to "get in the trenches", but maybe afraid of dealing with all this shit alone. I really got no problem of getting girls (I actually had plans with another girl yesterday, but I backed out). Regret it now though, after yet another "sexless night"!

I guess in my mind I am looking for a way of putting everything back to normal... And wanted opinions on what could be done... But no, its not worth losing my mind over this! (And yeah, my self-respect also seems to have jumped out the window or something)

If she has been clinically diagnosed as having BPD, you need to make a clear rationally minded decision about how much your own welfare means to you.

I am a psychotherapist, I have dealt with BPD individuals and they are among the hardest psychopathologies to treat. They will love you one moment, and curse the ground you walk on the next (often called Splitting). They can also be prone to violent mood swings and self-harming behaviors.

So either you make it part of your life mission to learn all there is about BPD and how to live with such an individual or you get out of this relationship and work out some sort of an arrangement (likely through lawyers) to have joint custody of the children. She may not even be fit to parent on her own.

You can read more about BPD here http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/b ... ndex.shtml.

You may want to find a BPD support group, or forum of sorts too in the mean time as the people on this board, unless they've been with a person with BPD won't have a clue how to deal with it.