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So because two people have piss poor boundary control (the OP's gf and her gay friend), that means he too should be weak on establishing boundaries?
I strongly disagree. There's a right way and a wrong way to establish boundaries. The former doesn't involve being rude, but rather being direct and not partaking in something that goes against your values. IF his GF has an issue with that, then perhaps he would be better served examining whether he wants to continue a relationship with somebody like this or free himself up to find somebody who holds values more in-line with his own.
I disagree at regular strength. The issue isn't the friend. It isn't the boundaries. It isn't the girlfriend. The problem is the OP doesn't want to deal with the fact that this girl has a sexual past that may be more extensive than what he has estimated. He wants to keep the illusion going. He blames the friend for leading her astray. He wants to blame another friend's religious views as the reason that she has been labeled a cheater. FFS, he has to get over the fact that she's hooked up with someone a few times a month while not in a relationship. See a pattern?
Pay attention to OP, his complaint isn't about hearing her sexual history. His complaint is finding out there's more to her sexual history than he wants it to be. If he found out she cheated or had too many partners he would be uncomfortable with that. These are so important to him, he doesn't want to know. The "boundaries" that are being endorsed here has only one purpose and that is to keep OP ignorant so he can remain happy with a girl that isn't really what he wants.
Personally, I think the gay friend is doing him a favor. If his girlfriend doesn't have the sexual past that he finds acceptable, then perhaps he would be better served examining whether he wants to continue a relationship with somebody like this or free himself up to find somebody who holds values more in-line with his own.
CHAT
