At a subconscious level I've been aware things have been wrong for a while with my monogamous live in LTR. I came inches from cheating twice in the first year. I'm an honourable man and don't believe in deception / lying so it stopped at the bedroom door. I told her about both incidents. We moved in together in year 2, I really haven't been in a scenario with single women which would allow me to cheat since. I feel like I've aged two decades and am in my 40's, some good traits, sure, but but much is wrong.

We've had serious talks about monogamy, I've expressed my concerns and struggles. She expressed why it is so important to her. Three years in and I can't do it anymore. I want / need new pussy.

She's wanted to get married for the past 2 years (the country is pretty traditional and it's uncommon for man and women to be living together and not married; everyone calls her my wife here), I did my research and realised I had nothing to gain and lots to loose, primary financially. It took her a long time to get her head around the idea of being unmarried (family / societal pressure runs strong), although I know this would rear it's head again when kids come into the equation.

She brings drama, stress, endless conversations and mess into my life. It's hit the point where I determine the value is less than the return. I cover the big costs, house, car, holidays. I handle all the adult stuff (bills, accountants, legal, logistics etc). I do all the driving as she doesn't have a license and hasn't acquired one in the past two years despite supposedly trying. Seriously if I wanted to drive I'd get it done in a month, just like I did when I was 17, over a fucking decade ago! I feel like I've inherited a dependent.

I look forward and encourage her to take solo trips to see her friends, right now she's away on work, I'm so chilled, loving my weekend. Honestly dreading her coming back. That isn't right, hey?

And for what? I've got completely bored of the sex. How the fuck do people do decades of marriage? What's odd is she is just as into it as when we first met. Wants to fuck all the time, I feel like the girl in this relationship, making up excuses of why I don't want to (tired, headache!). I thought the girl was meant to loose interest and not the man? I've not lost my sex drive, just desire for her. As such I'm sexually frustrated.

She does all the cooking which is cool, but even that annoys me. I like cooking and it makes me lazy and she makes the most ridiculous mess. Seriously I finish cooking a meal and the kitchen is spotless (I clean as I go), she finishes it and it's like a bomb went off.

I've brought up all this stuff, but she doesn't change. If I project this forward, what's going to be different?

I lost my impulsive side, I lost my high level of fitness (I used to be a very serious mountaineer / rock climber when single), I don't have a network of male friends, I dropped my sport, I feel like every decision is now a joint one. Endless discussions and plan making where previously I'd just go.

However there has been one large benefit to this period -I've been killing it at work. I've gone from $40k in debt to $300k net-worth. I'm pulling in $150k income, have equity in multiple companies and look set for a liquidity event within the next 5 years. Before this relationship I never really took my career seriously, I worked on the road, and followed my passions. The stability has created an environment where I could crush it. I can't put that down to the relationship only though, I think that was just a case of maturity.

From her end, she is loving the relationship, see's us as life partners. I've noticed a drop in effort in her appearance (less lingerie, less grooming, less makeup) but she still routinely says things like "let me know when it's time for your blowjob" and follows through. Sex is still on tap. Maybe I'm just too young (28) to settle? Especially when my market value is climbing. The news is going to hit her hard.

Breaking up is going to be a mission for me logistically. I'm going to have to move country (live in hers with visa on virtue of us being a couple), sell all my assets here (I'm not going to loose anything, we have a cohabitation agreement signed and witnessed by an attorney), and hit the road (well world) until my visa situation is sorted. There's more, trust me it's complicated. But it's a mess I have to untangle to regain my freedom. Pain but just logistics to get through.

And then there's getting back into the game. Whatever, I'm just going to be focusing on my businesses, travelling to meet investors / clients etc and get back into my outdoor pursuits.

I'm a different person now than I was three years ago. I've seen the light and swallowed the red pill. I don't regret this time, its taught me what I needed to know about relationships. There is no grass is greener wandering anymore. I know it's not for me at this time in my life. Maybe in my 50's, but not now. I want to let her go whilst she is still in her prime so she can get the type of relationship she wants.

Why do I post? To get this off my chest, to share, to get thoughts and insight. Thanks for your time. Sorry if this is at all rant like. (Sigh of relief).

Good. Now get on with your life.

I have a question though, she annoys you right? What is she like? I don't know if I'm in similar situation, but I almost cheated on my GF twice in the past year, oh btw. we are in relationship for 13 months. She doesn't do make up for me when we meet, but loves to buy me things, impress me with sweet texts and so on, currently she's making more money then I do so she loves to pay for dinners, etc. She's very giving and organised women.

Sometimes she really can make me angry for no particular reason, she loves to play head games to make me jealous and sometimes her action seem very irrational and illogical.

Pls, provide more information about your GF, I recognized myself in your text, I kind of want to know more about your relationship because it's like mine in 5 years. I don't want to waste her, and my time. Thank you in advance!

_________________
Uncertainty is the root of all progress and all growth.

Nobody can make you feel anything, actually. The fact you get angry at what she does says more about you than her. There's a good place to start.

Ok. Angry is pretty strong word. I don't get angry, but I tend to look for smallest detail, and if things don't add up, I get frustrated.

_________________
Uncertainty is the root of all progress and all growth.

@op
You are obviously with the wrong woman. If communication doesn't work then she is not fit for a relationship.
If my long term boyfriend would had told me that he doesn't like something I would try to change it.
Also stop reading on the internet propaganda against marriage. You don't know what exactly happened between a couple because you weren't there to witness it.
I agree with you that it's a right move to break up with this woman but giving up on relationships is not the answer.
As it is for women same is for men: the younger you are the more options you get. Men usually go through a period from around the age of 28 to the age of 36 that are getting lots of women. That's because women are looking at them as potential husbands/fathers. After that age the demand declines.
It's better if you use this period to find someone who could make a good wife if you want to have a family. If the mother and father in a family see money and possessions as a separate thing they won't do well in raising the kids.
It really surprises me that the main criteria of a man choosing to find a partner is just the sexual attraction. This is the reason why arranged marriages do better long term than normal ones.
You definitely need time on your own to reflect about your life. But when you think about the future try to consider things that will actually change.
For example, having kids at a younger age is easier because you are biologically fitter to father them and you have the energy to look after them. When you are older you might have settled down more emotionally and financially but you are more prone to have kids with down syndrome, less fertile and you'll have less energy to have a screaming baby waking you up in the middle of the night.
I am a woman and I see myself that the more the time is passing the less excited I am to have little kids around me.
Being single for life is a serious life choice. It won't be better than being married and it won't be worse.
The grass won't be greener. It will be just different.
Now get yourself out of this relationship and don't accept the emotional manipulation your gf is trying to put on you.
I can clearly see that she is not in love with you either. What she wants is to fill the position of the husband and show off her wedding ring and the baby to her mates.
If she was interested in being with you first thing she would do would had been to make sure you are happy.
It's not monogamy that is against your system... what makes you feel claustophobic is the idea of being tied down for a lifetime in a relationship that doesn't cover your needs. And by needs I don't mean cleaning, cooking and sex. That's what every woman can offer you. I mean emotional needs, someone who can see your point of view in things and is compatible to your personality.
Sticking it to a different vagina every night won't give you that. It could add potentially even more drama in your life...