Hi,

So recently my gf has been saying a lot of "bad" stuff to me such as
* Oh u never do this for me
* never take me out
* never do fun activities
* U are boring
When I actually do all of the listed above, feels like shes lost a bit of respect for me.
We have been together for 4 years now (still dont live together).
Recently I have been very busy with running my own company, so wen we do meet I do spend around 30-50% of the time working on my company.
And now shes acting like she has become "independent", does things which we would do together by herself e.g. go running. Wanders around the park by herself. Doesn't say goodnight, falls asleep randomly, doesnt message me as often - her excuse is that she is busy. But still says I love you to me (which i recently have stopped believing).
Is there something I have done wrong? what can i do to get back her back to be loving/normal as she used to be!

You didn't commit to her quickly enough. Happened to me. Only I wish I had 4 years, not under 2.
She's either cheating on you emotionally or physically, or both, with someone else.
Try to salvage it before she ends it.

Your woman is only reflecting your own behaviors back to you.

You don't get her to change by complaining, or telling her to. You get her to change by changing yourself. You have come to and understanding of who you were when she was behaving in the most ideal way and focus on being that guy.

I wrote an article called. She Will Follow So Long As You Lead that will hold many of the answers you're looking for.

But in short, the answer does not lay outside of you or within her. She is only reflecting back to you what it is she feels you are giving her.

When a man becomes needy and desperate his woman reflects that by behaving bitter and distant. The mans become an emotional burden on her. And in response she removes herself from being weighed down by him. When a man is attractive, showing emotional strength and standing on his own two feet his woman reflects that back to him by leaning on him for his strength. She's likely to take on the mirror(opposite) reflection of that which her man has become.

And just be aware that a woman can only leave a man if she feels he will be emotionally devastated by her leaving. If you feel now that you would be crushed if she left, this could be on the verge of ending unless you straighten yourself out a bit.

Its also quite possible that she has taken an interest in someone else. If reading that stifled your gut, it may have some validity.

If you have anymore questions let me know.

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god dam u lot are really good!

Ok so basically you are saying that a woman should reflect the mans action.
I have been soo busy to not give her enough attention, should she not be chasing me then?
Because SPAM shes doing exact opposite.

Because she has another dude showing her attention. She doesn't need it from you.

Sounds like you're evolving as a man and you are finding things that are important to you that don't include her. While you are denying it, she knows it. I'm in agreement with Eddie and believe another guy could be in position to replace you and she may be echoing the things that he is in position to give her. No matter how you reassure her of how you feel, she's not going to believe it until she sees it.

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How long can you pull a rubber band before it breaks? This is normally relationship dynamic. It objective is to pull, but without any pushing you'll get what you have now. Stretch and snap back, stretch stretch and snap back. Stretch stretch stretch and snapback. Stretch snapback and so forth.

I disagree with Poet. A woman's 10 orbiters stands no chance against the one guy she actually wants the attention from.

This could just be a warning, I don't know enough about the relationship. The additional guy was just a suggestion.

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To whether she is cheating relax. She COULD be taking dick all over town, but nothing here really signals that. Gasp...a 4 year relationship where you dont go out, you never go have fun, you spend a large portion of the little time you do get together working on your company...it doesnt need some side guy to make her feel bored. I dont think I've ever known a girl who wont be on her way out if you're staying in, not having fun and working all the time. You're a strong guy, you have your own company, your ambitious. But I'm not gonna tell you that strength makes a woman stick in boring. Attraction is just one component. If it's boring, it's dead. She isnt gonna stay in, barely see you and sit back while you're on spreadsheets and actually stick around because she likes your drive or strength. Dump her and get another chick, the other chick will get tired too and just leave if the conditions are like this.

Your relationship has gotten boring. If you're that busy with your company, then most likely you really ARE boring. Kudos on running your own shit, but that comes with the expense of your relationship. If you spend 30-50% of your time together working, then I believe your gf when she says those things. Cant picture a workaholic who does that being a fun guy anymore or being able to focus on a date when his mind is on his grind. Your gf is bored from not having fun and not seeing you alot, and when she DOES see you, your not present. So she's getting used to being alone and doing her own shit. Ever been in a LDR? When you dont really see someone and if you cant communicate with them, you feel weird and single even though you have a gf.

I get it. You are building something and you just want stability from a relationship. You want the chick to just be there for you while you take care of shit. But she wants a relationship. She wants fun, she wants dates, she wants romance, she wants quality time. You gotta decide how you manage your relationship. Is she worth putting some effort to find a better balance between work and love? That's up to you. It's 4 years so I assume the chick should be if you've been with her that long. If you want to save this, you gotta manage your time with her better, and remember to have some fun. If you can't or just dont want to, might as well end it. Let her find someone who can give her time and fun.

I have gone through the same condition before.But really I would say the only thing you can do is to love her more so that she feels your worth.

I follow this dating coach and his tips were very useful for me during my break up - coreevolve Dating coach

Hope it will work for you.

^This. So much this. Couldn't have said it any better myself.

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Been on a serious Eddie kick lately. Dudes shit is on point.

" You have come to and understanding of who you were when she was behaving in the most ideal way and focus on being that guy. "

That is it right there. When I get wrapped up in one girl and feel my power starting to shift, I try to think like this as quickly as possible. Normally, my thought goes something like this "I was kind of a wild, aloof self-centered dude just looking to take a cute girl out." And it all clicks back into place for the time being.

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