So despite all my years in the game, I still screw up. I'm seeing a wonderful woman right now, but I went through a few not so wonderful ones. I won't be repeating those mistake with my current girl, but I noticed that a few guys on the forum are in one of the stages I went through.

The less knowledge and experience you have in dating and hooking up with women, the greater your chance of being hurt.

I know some guys who literally wasted away chunks of their prime years due to the psychological damage they inflicted on themselves after their girlfriend, wife, or fiancee had sex with another man out side of the relationship.

Whenever this happened to me, it was mostly due to the fact that I allowed the woman in the relationship to have the drivers seat. The moment a man lets a woman dictate the direction of a relationship, the cycle described in this article will take place.

This post outlines the basic life cycle of most long term relationships in the western world. There are much healthier patterns, but in my coaching and personal experience, this is the most common cycle.

I’m painting with broad strokes here, but I’m positive most of you will relate to this. At each stage of this life cycle, which is broken into 10 stages ,you have the freedom to choose how the relationship will proceed. As a man, you are responsible for the relationship. Whether its survives, thrives or dies is up to you.

Of course, the ultimate prevention is to not allow certain kinds of women into your life. Unfortunately, with the current state of western society, as well as the proliferation of hypergamy , many men feel that they do not have such options. If you are one of these men, rest assured- there is hope.

For some of you, this will be a painful read because you’ve been through this cycle before. Thats okay . Once bitten, twice shy. For others, you may recognize one or more of the stages in you current relationship. Please don’t live in denial. Fix it, or end the relationship.

Be aware.

Stage 1: Multiple dates and lots of sex

The good times. You can’t get enough of each other, the future looks bright, the sex is great, she is fantastic. You’re starting to justify all the time you’re spending with her.

Stage 2: Cohabitation or spending long stretches of time at either of your places

You really like her. You both get along so well and can spend hours together talking about nothing. Time flies when you are together. She starts leaving stuff over at your place,so she can spend longer periods of time with you, or you move in together. Sex is still great and you’re getting to know each other better.

Stage 3: Frequency of sex reduces

Not as much sex, but the strong feelings are still present. You’re comfortable in the relationship. By now you’ve probably discussed or confronted each other on your respective “bad” habits and tendencies. Concessions have been made, and you both get along. You’re more familiar with each other and sometimes take each other for granted.

Stage 4: Woman demands gifts or money

She asks for money usually bringing up another relationship in comparison, or a friend who’s man pays for her or buys her gifts. Maybe you second guess yourself at this point. “Have I given her enough?”. Or you worry that she’ll leave if you don’t begin to provide her with gifts and money.

* This is a crucial point in the relationship where you have two choices. You either let her know what kind of man you are in no uncertain terms, or you terminate the relationship and walk away. Allowing a woman’s behavior to progress further than Stage 4 is relationship suicide.

Stage 5: Sex disappears or is rare

She’s tired, not up to it, no longer enthusiastic about it or has a headache. She’s not having sex with you.

Stage 6: Frequency of nagging and complaining from woman increases

She complained before, but suddenly she’s intolerant of certain aspects of your lifestyle which she previously seemed to be fine with. It could be anything- the bathroom, your personal hygiene, the hours you work, your beard, your friends, anything is fair game at this point, really.

Stage 7: She begins messaging men whom she says are “just friends”.

If you still believe the “just friends” gimmick, you’ve got a long way to go. Most women will not risk being without prospects. She had a plan B in mind from the day your relationship began. For every attractive woman you date, there are a minimum of three men waiting in the sidelines for you to screw up. Some of them are experts at identifying this crucial stage in the life cycle of your relationship and will not hesitate to exploit it.

* Your relationship is over. Leave.

Stage 8: Woman begins to “disappear” mysterious more often, especially during key events in your lives( your birthday, for instance).

* Stop rationalizing her disappearances .Leave.

Stage 9: SPAM of you escalates to full blown insults, denigration, humiliation and attacks (as she attempts to push you away).

*If you are still in a relationship at this point, there is a very high chance that you have self esteem issues that require serious introspection. No man should tolerate an iota of disrespect from a woman in a relationship. She disrespects you the first time- remind her that you don’t play that game. A second time, leave. Take a break from relationships and work on yourself for awhile.

Stage 10: You find out that she’s having sex with someone else.

*Game Over. Many of us have been here.For some, one time too many. Alot of us have never let go of the pain/trauma this caused. Its time to take a hiatus from the relationship game to work on yourself, your game, your confidence and your career.

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www.quitporngetgirls.com

solid fucking post.


exactly the way it goes, and it's up to the man to keep the ship on course. the goal is to keep things somewhere between 2 & 3. sex is never going to be as great as it was those first few months, but if you start going even 2 weeks without it (sickness and long distance excluded), start looking for other red flags. you should at the very least be having good, satisfying sex once a week.

here's a really simple, very effective way to help reframe your position of power in the relationship, even if you've made it all the way to stage 6:

stop initiating physical contact with her.

it's insane, almost magical, how well this works if you apply it right when she starts showing signs of losing interest. simply refrain from going in for a hug or a comforting touch until she goes in first. don't kiss her until she goes to kiss you. don't automatically comfort her if she's stressed out. the trick is to do all this without showing the slightest sign of anger or disapproval or any variation from the norm. it's very subtle but incredibly useful.

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You must be overconfident and cocksure, even if you haven't got a god damn thing in the world going for you. And you must fail with women until you do not fear the possibility of failure, whereupon you will succeed wildly.

What is the best thing to do in Stage 5

What the life cycle of a happy/successful relationship would look like?

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"Tell the world what you intend to do, but first show it."

Solid post seems like my most recently ended relationship. I thought I was immune to falling head over heels for a chick I was still getting to know and getting sucked into the "relationship" category too early. She was heavily invested in me from the start but as soon as the pendalum started swinging back to middle with me being heavily emotionally invested in her is when things went down hill.

The only tricky part about her was that a lot of our tension was because I did show dominace in our typical interaction. By the end she claimed I always had to be right, win, and or do what I wanted to do. None of which is true but she is a dominant woman. I refuse to be a doormat and I wonder if that is what she expected or had from her previous lovers.

Early when things went downhill I would make it known I was upset or freeze her out to which she would go out of her way to make things up. By the end she was being a bitch to me and then get mad when I would let her suck me into the drama. I don't think she would have handled a freeze our or come to Jesus moment as she doesn't handle conflict well but part of me in hindsight wonders what would have happened had I put her in her place.

Perhaps she would have been snapped out of it putting me back in the drivers seat or worst case we break up cause she can't handle a dominant male and she goes back to her ex which is what happened anyway. Instead conflicts ended in me apologizing being afraid of losing her and then being grumpy because I thought she was being crazy preventing me from truly being intimate/happy and doing things to actually smooth over the relationship.

If a dog barks at people entering your house, it's your fault.
If it shits in the middle of a room, eats the food on your table, growls at you, or is territorial, it's your fault.
If you start being beta, the dog will become the alpha. That's not that big of a problem, really, but considering that dogs are naturally raised to be beta, they don't have any way of knowing the path of an alpha, if not by an awfully faint whiff of the instinct they once had.

The issue being that you let it take control. That is entirely on your shoulders.
As you've mentioned in your post, the drivers' seat should be occupied, at all times, with no exception, by yourself. You let that frame of mind slip away, you've already lost the game to begin with.

Yes, it can seem difficult, or suffocating at first, simply because one wasn't aware of the aforementioned concept before in their lives, but fear not, as it's something that through time, can be perfected.

Closely following that train of thought, and at the same time, concluding, I agree with you, in admiting that a relationship is hard work, but that's only because, as I've said, you ain't used to it.

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You'd be cocky too if you were full of myself.