| Hi guys,
I really need some advice, I need some pua knowledge to get me back up. I never told this to anyone. I’m not proud of it but I know for sure I can became stronger.
When I was in my teens I was very shy, and in my 16 years I kinda developed some self-image issues, like my nose was too big and so on, to the point I thought I was hideous and no girl would like me. I entered this vicious cycle and become depressed, nobody knew what was going in my head.
So this girl, lets call her Jane was in my class, the first time I saw her I didn’t find her attrative, mostly because she was a skinny type. However 1 year later she was in my group of friends, and I fall in love with her. At this point she was perfect, I saw how attractive she was.
So fast forward to my 18 birthday and almost finishing high school, Here I was secretly in love with Jane and this was killing me like hell, because I felt she was out of my league and impossible to have.
All changed in one week trip with our group of friends to celebrate the end of high school. In the first day I saw she kissing another guy, this hurted like hell, so since that day I made the mental decision of ignoring her until the final of the semester because I didn’t want to get hurt anymore, it kinda worked because the feeling was at last fading way.
The funny thing is that she was flirting more now. So friday night I get drunked me and my friend start talking to a girl and next we were dancing with her. Next this girl grab my hand drag me to the street and tell me: “I want you not your friend”, this boost my ego because my friend was very good looking.
What followed next was obscene, it involved public sex in the parking lot, blowjob in a taxi and in a glass elevator, a women at her fortys opened the elevator door and saw me with my dick in her mouth. So, we got to the hotel room where I fucked her brains out. She was a real nympho.
So my group of friends were dead worry about me, especially Jane. They went looking for me, and finally found me. Jane opened the door and she totally lost it, calling this girl a slut, whore, and grabing her and put her out of the room. At this time I was very drunk to rationalize, so I just lied there and fall a sleep.
In the next night, with some alchool help me and Jane finaly hooked up, only first base. So, one week ago I was depressed because I thought I couldn’t get any girl, and now I was kissing the girl I wanted more in the world, and also had a good fuck last night.
Fast forward 5 months, with very bad game I managed to start dating Jane, alchool helped a little...again.
Several months after we had sex, it kinda surprised me but she was a virgin, I mean she never have given a handjob to another guy. It suprised me because she had at least 5 boyfriends before me,although none more than a year. Even she wasn't a virgin I wouldn't care.
We dated for 9 years, yap all that time! It’s amazing how time passes so fast. Thing start went down in the last 2/3 years, I started feeling she was losing interest, so I started given more effort to maintain her interested. It was different now, I called more than she called me, It was mostly a one direction relationship. Some times it went better, but then went bad. Until two days ago when she broke with me. I kinda saw it coming, but you’re never fully prepared.
In those last years I wasn’t very happy neither, but when she was around it lifted my mood. I started appreciatte her more in those last years, despite the few quality time we had. She said that she tried hard to feel the passion, but she couldn’t, she saw me more than a friend now, that if she could consciously decide do stay with me she would. We both cried, neither me or her are crying babies, but it was too much.
So here I’m, I’m trying very hard not contacting her, I know it’s dead over. It’s so painfull, 9 years and sudden all gone.
In the last year those self-image issues become to appear again, I become more insecure, more paranoid. I’m afraid I can never get a attractive girl like her. The thought that another guy can have her kiills me.
All I want now is forget her, stop loving her and start taking care of myself. Start banging new chicks.
I would appreciate any help and advice guys, please. How can I move on? Everything remembers me her. Life seems so gray. Did it ever happened to you? How did you survive?
What are the first steps to know new girls?
One thing I had better than 10 years ago, I’m more courageous, I feel I can approach new girls. I'm not shy anymore.
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CHAT
