So I've been with this HB9 for a few months. We live a couple hours apart, how ever we have been seeing each other every weekend and sometimes on week days. We met during the summer, and even thought I know semi long distance relationships aren't that awesome, I felt like it would be worth it. Everything was going pretty well, until one night I cheated on her with another HB9. Somehow she knew about it days later, and being a dumb ass that I am I lied about it for a few weeks, and she semi believed me because who told her about it was a reliable source. Until finally (i guess due to the distrust) we had a big fight and that night came up, and I came out and told her the truth about what happened, and turns out the girl I slept with was one of her brothers ex's.. Very shitty situation.. After I told her, I met the incoming barrage of insults you would expect, followed by the we are done, never talk to me again etc that girls say when they're hurt.

I want her back. I don't want anyone else, and it was so stupid of me to put myself in this situation and it's not going to happen again.

I'm probably going to write her a letter apologizing. So what should I take into account when doing this? Do I simply remind her of the good times we have, gravel at her feet and tell her I love her, act alpha and just straight up apologize, or what would be the best course of action?

Also any other ideas on making it up to her are much needed

EDIT:
My follow up problem, which is probably the opposite of every other post in this forum..

I also wanted to ask, how do you guys stick to one girl? After becoming good at picking up girls, finding one I really like, and falling in "love" I have gone out and picked up three girls in one weekend before.. I don't plan on it happening, but I get caught up drinking with friends and I always get myself into shit like this.

Basically, after you've become the alpha every girl wants, and your game is excellent, well rehearsed, and even natural at times, and your "street cred" is tip top, how do you turn this shit off? I can't stand the barrage of girls coming at me. How do I make sure I look BETA as fuck to any girl BESIDES the one I want to date?

I see nobody answered yet, so...

Nobody can write a step-by-step guide on how to handle this situation. If you have the right attitude while apologizing to her, you will do all the right things. Right now your attitude is questionable.

The biggest problem is not the cheating. It's the lying. Think about it, if a girl cheated on you and then pathologically lied to your face about it for weeks, would you ever get back with that girl? No because you would think that her apology is a lie as well. You need to see from her POV in order to apologize properly, but that is hard for you right now because:
-You are not sorry that you hurt her. You're sorry you got caught.
-The only reason you're apologizing is to get her back.

Because of the above problems, you already have a very bad idea that will ruin everything. You are already considering writing a letter. After cheating and lying to her face, you don't want to apologize to her face. Because you believe in being "alpha". You are not alpha. An alpha male is in control of himself and his surroundings; you have shown lack of self control. So get the alpha idea out of your head right now or you are going to mess everything up. That is why I said fixing your attitude is important.

This girlfriend is not one of those that you've been picking up. Like I always say to guys here. The "wife material" is not going to behave like the girls you are used to. You cannot use your techniques on this girl. You have to be sincere. Your girlfriend is intelligent from what you said, she is going to pick up on logical fallacies and she is going to know if you're insulting her or not.

About your follow up problem, you are not the only guy asking about this lately. I'm sorry you find yourself in this state. People always say that men can sleep around with no problems, and I believed it too until I started spending some months on PUA communities. Picking up all those girls does mess a guy's head up. So many guys want to be with their dream girl after doing PUA for a while, but they don't know how to act. The PUA techniques don't work for the girl and they don't want to ruin everything, but they're in PUA mode and it's hard to stop.

All I can say is, you have to drop the PUA completely. Everything you learned has to be abandoned and you have to return to your normal self. At least when you were normal, you were probably nice (lol). And wife material girls don't want to be treated like crap, they want to be loved and respected. They are thinking about how you'll treat their kids in the future. They do not care about your street cred or how "alpha" you are. Maybe it's best to forget the stuff you learned.

So - about your cheating issue... Good luck with that. younglady is correct - the lying is what would get me if a chick did that to me (well, the cheating wouldn't help either).

If you're going to apologize, apologize for lying as well.

On your other issue - what younglady says, above, is sorta right (my opinion)... I say this as I am actually a member here who is in a relationship - and has been for about a year and a half. There are ups and downs, like any relationship - and I get pissed at her and she gets pissed at me... She does stupid shit and so do I. We are both stubborn.

This is the first time I've actually tried to keep ties to this community while staying in a relationship, however - normally I actually DO drop it completely... then come back to it when the breakup happens.

I do not believe you need to drop pickup altogether, but the parts of it that you sure do need to lose are the 'abundance' mentality, and the 'alpha' thing (TO A POINT)... You've already got the girl... You still need to be the man, and you still need to lead --- no question there --- but you also need to accept that relationships are about compromise and apologizing now and again.

You need to trust that the girl you picked actually is a good one... and that you had many to choose from.

How do I stick with the one girl? I flirt... With anything that moves. I just don't get numbers... and if I do get numbers, I never use them.

Are you finding that it's helping you to keep your edge while in a relationship?

@oceanx - I actually am... I've now tried it both ways:

Keeping active vs. ditching it altogether and picking it up again after a breakup. I prefer the 'keeping active' route.

Aspects of it are helpful, and applicable to relationships as well as to every day life - confidence and a general sense of how you carry yourself, how you talk to people, how to make people respect you more...

In terms of being IN the relationship itself, it's a constant reminder of what to tolerate and what not to tolerate (and I've posted a few of the issues I've encountered on here before - like to get opinions)... And that just simply TALKING about things can solve most problems (not freeze outs, not flaking, not punishment vs. positive re-enforcement and rewarding good behavior)... But in the end it comes back to remembering that much of this game can't be used when you're with just one girl and you're not trying to 'pick her up' anymore.

Very interesting ty for the insight

Thanks for all of the responses guys, I got some really helpful insight from that, and from thinking about things over the last few weeks. No one probably cares, but I never got around to writing the letter or anything, that chick was not the type of person I want to be with forever, sometimes it just takes a distancing from people to see who they really are.

But anyway guys, sarge on

Too late now, but the mistake you made was telling her you cheated. You fucked up, but you had nothing to gain by admitting to it.

It was selfish of you to cheat, but even more selfish of you to tell her. Just because YOU felt guilty about it, you felt the need to make her feel like shit. Lots of women don't want to know.

read this:
http://uk.askmen.com/top_10/dating/top- ... eated.html

I cheated on my girl not too long ago but the difference between me and You is that I told her the very next day. I've never done this before; usually I would go on lying about it like everyone to preserve the relationship, because women don't understand that us cheating has nothing to do with them. We just like to have sex with other women. But anyway, for whatever reason I have become so sensitive that this time I just couldn't hold it in. She's been a good to me and I'd feel shitty just looking her in the face and lying. So while she was over my place I came out and told her..

" Baby, I was in the bed with another woman last night"

Her: Wait what? Could you please stoping joking around baby. *goes back to watching tv..*

I sort of giggled because she truly didn't believe me..

So I told her again..

Still, tells me to shut up because she doesn't believe me. She knows I would never do that to her.

It took me 10 mins man; to convince her that I was telling her the truth and she was devastated. Said she would of swore on her life that I would NEVER do something like that to her.

Long story short.. I ended up crying and apologizing.. It was what I had to do man; for her to understand how serious I was about doing what I did.

She left my house; called me the next day on SPAM in dark make up with a bunch of questions. I confidently smiled and answered them; and we're still going strong.

So all i can tell you is that you have to explain to her that it had nothing to do with you and that as a man with 1 billion sperm cells that each are programmed to impregnate a woman you have a biological influence to seek out places for your sperm to go.

Its tough man; but after seeing the way this girl loves me, I don't want to do something thats going to hurt her like that again.

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Relationships are agreements. You are agreeing that as long as you are together you will not sleep with anyone else.
When you cheat, for whatever reason you are breaking the agreement. The reason why you broke the agreement is irrelevant. You just broke an agreement.
Best thing to do is to admit that you broke the agreement. Then you need to say that you are sorry and you feel foolish that you broke it. Agree that it was not the right thing to do. Say that no matter what you say or what you do it cannot take the pain away and that you have sympathy for the pain you have caused. Then say that you feel really EMBARRASSED for what you did in a point that you feel that you want to remove yourself so she doesn't even see you.
At any stage she cries and says you are bad you agree with her and you say that you should better leave because she is right. Then leave her some space on her own to take it off her system. (ie couple of days)
When you are sure that she has calmed down, text her and tell her that you miss her and you are really sorry for what happened but you feel embarrassed of your actions and you hope that she is well and she finds what she wants in life. Ask her if you could be friends.
If she insists she doesn't want to talk to you because you don't deserve her friendship then remind her all the good times you had together and that you don't want to throw away a perfect friendship. Start bringing up stuff that made HER happy while you were together. Text her and remind her those happy memories.
Your goal is to reestablish communication by making her believe that you are only talking to her to just be friends. ( non threat)
Don't lose time though. Slowly win her back by talking to her as a friend, then meeting her as a friend, seducing her, reminding her the good times you had together etc.
Then while you reconnect with her make sure that you two see it as a "learning experience" what happened and as something that can bring you closer.

Please do not bring up stuff about your seed and your need to spread it. LOL. If she is a quality woman she will find it insulting.
I would...... So don't risk it.
And btw.. you don't need to seem BETA to control yourself.
This experience shows that you need to strengthen your inner game and be able to control yourself. You show how strong you are when you are facing a challenge not when you are in "safe mode".

NOTE: it can only work once this method. If you repeat cheating there is no way you can bring her back . Also after all of this your gf will feel insecure. Expect that she might start checking your phone behind your back in the first stages. Pretend that you have no idea she does this and let her do it. Forget about phone privacy talks. They will only break your relationship. Until she forgets about it you need to give her the feeling of transparency.

I guess it just depends on your moral compass. If I cheat I don't feel guilty. So I never feel the need to tell my girlfriend.

Simply cannot understand why you guys feel so bad about this. Girls cheat far more than guys on average anyway.

I think there are pros and cons to this mindset. The people who cheat and feel guilty do so because they believe 100% their girl isn't cheating. You may cheat assuming or at least acknowledging the possibility that your girl is cheating. But you're fine with it. The people who assume their girl is 100% faithful can experience more in their relationship because there is no doubt. However if they do get cheated on they'd be more devastated that you would be. The people who are open to their girl cheating typically don't give themselves 100% so can't experience the level of closeness and trust that the first group can. So it's pros and cons. You can trust women fully and risk getting devastated if they do cheat, or you could not fully trust your partner, not get as hurt, but also not experience the fully potential of the relationship.

First you must face the facts ,if she's really worth it, otherwise this situation wouldn't take place in first place.