Hi so this is my first time back to the forums. I'm an ex member for a couple of years and have applied a lot of what I learnt here into practice. I have been inactive this past year because I've been focusing on my outer game losing 20kg, focusing on reinventing my image and feeling more confident overall which helps in the field.

However I have a problem over my head currently. I just got back in touch with my first ever gf. This goes back to high school when I was 14 so does it really count as a bad move? We haven't spoken since the break up and it's been almost a decade. We ended on an open page at the time. She suffered from Bipolar and my parents were having fights at the time with theirs. When your at that age your parents make the decisions for you and unfortunately I had to break up with her while she was in the hospital seeking help for suicide.

I felt horrified with what I did at the time and held a grudge over my mother for convincing me to do for far too long. In the end what convinced me to talk with her again recently was that I noticed her facebook. I saw that she was doing well just graduated uni and is now a nurse. What I realise is that for far too long it had eaten me up inside what had happened at the time and I put all the blame on myself. So that is why I could not speak to her until now.

The moment we spoke again on facebook, there were no hard feelings and a lot of relief that we were finally getting back in touch. We spoke for hours from when I was at work all the way until I got home. Finally we spoke on the phone just cause it was easier. So I know partly the reason why I feel so comfortable talking around this girl, it's because I've been with her before I don't have any trophy to achieve haha. But we just hit it off like we were a couple or something.

So that is why it's concerning me. Things are too smooth and I've been with this girl before and no she has a lot of self confidence issues with her mental disorder. This was the first thing she brought up too and stated that she got help and is a lot better now at handling it. After all this time she still wanted to flirt ask if I was single and bring up old playful stories which suggests to me that she is without a doubt keen.

I've just never had this kind of interest so soon come my way with any other girl. Of course I think it would be best to keep things slow for now. I need a few pointers on how to handle this situation. She is literally the only serious girl I've had a relationship at the silly age of 14 and I'm 22. Yes we had sex at that age and I'm not proud of it because I would rather have been a late bloomer and had more experience than only been with one girl. There is something subconsciously holding me back with other women to do with this girl and I want to resolve it.

Just to clarify though I'm on the edge of whether to push for this girl or stay friends. I don't mind seeing where things lead and maybe it will be good now that we have matured and our parents can't get in the way. However I want to stay friends because I feel like if I can understand her I can find out why I am so shy and timid sexually with other woman. I do have other girl friends too and most of them remained my friend because they wanted things to escalate and I was too timid to advance.

rekindling things isn't going to help you in the long run. i understand where you're coming from but this will only reinforce your inability to be confident around other women. you need to have sex with a bunch of different women until you realize, as they realize, that it's not a big deal. you need to have bad sex. have good sex. etc.

i also personally believe falling for a woman who has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder is not wise. this is not meant to be taken offensively. i'm sure she is a good young woman who means well, but you're setting yourself up for completely unnecessary difficulties. it is not your job to take care of her.


you seem to be hung up on this woman. my advice to you is remain friends with her but pursue romantic and sexual endeavors with other women, and do so knowing you will make many blunders, as we all have, and that from these blunders will come experience and therefore confidence.

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You must be overconfident and cocksure, even if you haven't got a god damn thing in the world going for you. And you must fail with women until you do not fear the possibility of failure, whereupon you will succeed wildly.

it's called STDs