I do not see her as abusive or dominating. She didn't want me to break off contact with my ex, she wanted me to support her with the introduction into my social life. Which was hampered because nearly all parties and quiz nights etc are attended by my ex. She had long relationships before and never told me abput being jealous in them.

I remember my mother smashing dishes during a rocky phase with my father but I would not characterize her as abusive (though jealous).

I am beyond the point where I want *this* relationship to work out at any price. If she won't forgive me not telling her about visiting the ex I can't change it. But I would like to know how I can convince her that I do want this to work out.