First of all, it should be noted that English isn't my first language. I could have chose a local forum to ask this, but I prefer this one.

My problem is that yesterday my one year relationship ended because of a weird reason: her father died recently and she says she is so affected and so frightened by the future in general that she can't stand maintaining a relationship. She says she still loves me, but also she doesn't think her problems will fade away soon, and because of that she sees break up as the best option for both.

I didn't bother trying to convince her to stay by my side, if she doesn't want to continue being my girlfriend it's up to her. I'm not mad at all, and we have decided to continue being friends. We agreed to avoid planning anything; when she feels better, if both of us want to start dating again things should flow alone.

I have to add that I'm well aware about the most probable outcome, I know that this is most likely the true end of the relationship. Having accepted that, I would want to improve the odds she will still want to be my girlfriend when this year ends, but I would lie if I said I know how to conserve that feelings while taking distance and acting like a friend.

I have read about no contact, but we have agreed to keep in touch. What should I do? Should I look more distant? Or should I simply act normally? How can avoid falling into the friend zone? And how can I retain the sexual tension without acting openly sexual?

She knows I have almost no real friends, she knows I spend little time hanging out with people and I think that a sudden change would be seen as trying too hard to look cool.

In conclusion: I think it's an uncommon problem, as love is still there -at least to some degree- and don't have reasons to suspect there is another man. The problems are her inner demons, which she plans to solve going to a psychologist. So I don't know what should I do to conserve her feelings now that we are going to take distance.

For now, today we haven't texted anything. I don't see the point in being the first one, she is the one who wanted some distance.

Is this the same girl you posted about here?:
almost-impossible-something-special-vt152435.html

If so (I'm guessing it is since you said you were with her a year) you aren't doing yourself any favors by humoring her and being her 'friend'.

She's over you. You're not over her. Proximity to her, and staying in touch is like rubbing salt in a wound. You need some distance.

Details in your other thread, coupled with the ones here also make me think she's got another guy, as well. Hey breakup excuse was really quite lame. You state in this thread that she lost her father recently, but the other thread says you broke up 6 months ago... I'm sorry, but the truth is a hard-hitting death brings most people closer to the one they're with (for support, etc), and 6 months is plenty of time to figure out whether you want to be with someone or not.

No, maybe I should had been more clear. I met this girl last year and we started dating around June, the relationship ended yesterday.

I read that text you link and I feel a bit of shame. It's true that I didn't recover her and it was not a big deal, but that message sounds quite desperate to me now. You could say that now I'm sort of immunized about sudden breakups, I didn't even try to convince her, something I would have done in the past.

I only want to handle this period of time -it can be one month, it can be five; nobody knows- in a way it respects the fact we are no longer couple, but at the same time trying to conserve that feelings she has for me so the relationship will arise again if both of us want to. I don't want my chances get destroyed by some artificially imposed distance (if that even makes sense), nor I want to overplay the distance or the role of a friend. I want all the sexual tension -or sexual life was fantastic- and mutual understanding to remain there, or even grow.

Now I see that she has texted me with a simple ''Hey'', and I don't even know how to react. Should I act friendly and casual, should I ask about her day (she told me yesterday her plans for today) and tell some anecdote about mine? Should I hang it for some hours and risk the distance will widen, or that she thinks I'm angry?

That's it, I know that I can't see the situation properly because I am part of it, and I know that in the past I made mistakes with another woman at this point. If we end up just being friends, I would like to at least try it and learn something about the experience, as I did the last time. Mi biggest fears are to look overly attached and to look overly distant or comfortable with just being friends.

Thank you.

Yesterday we talked (texted) for about and hour, which can seem much but it's not considering we use to have very long random conversations. I understand this is part of the new situation, so it's not a big deal, maybe it's even positive, because it will be easier to avoid routine and conversations will have (perhaps) more value.

But my problem remains the same, I don't have a clue about what to do to maintain her feelings and at the same time acting like a friend. We are not supposed to have any sexualized conversation, nor anything which may sound romantic. It makes sense considering we have agreed in being friends at least until she overcomes her problems, but, how can I maintain all the attraction just acting like a friend? How can I avoid friendzone considering the limitations?

Here is the thing; you overanalyze it all.
You ask us (forumguys) what the best option would be whether to text back or not ect...
As we don't have all variables (neither do you) , we can't give perfect advice.
Can you text back immediatly, sure ..
Can you text back after some time without her going crazy over it .. ofcourse, you can be busy at some times of the day, you may not hold your phone in your hand 24/7 (or I least I hope you are not like that).
I think I agree with the provious poster that there was something seriously wrong with the relationship.
A major even like a father dieing should bring you too closer together, or create a big fight between you if she is annoyed how you behaved in general (death father => stress => less sleeping => being or more introvert or blowing up sometime and telling truth). The fact that you both take it so lightly seems imo that it wasn't that much of a good relationship after all.

she knows I spend little time hanging out with people and I think that a sudden change would be seen as trying too hard to look cool.

What kind of bullshit is that previous sentence. You should want to hang out with people because you like it, not because you think it gives you more status. How would anybody think as first that it is you trying to look cool?

Who cares there is another men, .. Fact is that you should be the intresting party and that she would want you. I don't know how the breakup took place but did you still have intrest of her before that moment, still had sex, intimity ect? If that faded away already , that was the end of your relationship, which you should try to reverse, ...

If you had the chat "I think it's better to become friends, I don't see us together nomore ..." , you shouldn't accept becoming friends. It doesn't work in the short term anymore, and it indeed is going to be putting salt in an open wound if you still have feelings for her. Accepting to become friends at that situation however is also a statement of weakness. You, in general life, shouldn't accept deals you don't like at all. It would have been better if you said something like; or I don't see you anymore, or we give this another try, I think you are worth fighting for. Ask her at that time, or another, what has changed ect... Opening the debate again under the statement; I don't think I can be friends after such a relationship isn't too bad as an opener for such a discussion. We have all had one-itis and we all got heartsoar from breakups, the thing is you need to deal with it in a proper manner.

I don't even have a smartphone, I simply installed Telegram in the PC. It's true that we had some discussions in the last weeks, and I think this has pushed her to take the decision; last week we went to watch a movie and it was all OK, she even got very horny at one point, that was quite surprising considering she has been sexually inactive during the last month.

One of the things she dislikes the most about me is that I tend to be late. Not just with her, but in general, and she sees it as a sing of me not caring enough about her and the relationship. Yesterday I told her I was going to be late because I lost the bus (my fault) and she got very angry.

Earlier that day she seemed happy and normal. When I asked her about the time she has been thinking about breaking up she answered ''about two weeks'', so it seems likely to me that this problems may have been the ''detonant''. I should have told this, but at the moment it didn't seem relevant (don't know why).

Maybe I shouldn't have accepted the breakup. At the moment it just seemed pointless to argue, but maybe it could have been avoided insisting a little.

Should I contact her and say that we have to talk again about this whole matter?

Now we text everyday, everything is fine like friends. She said she felt pressed to meet, so know I don't bring up the issue and will wait until she moves. Meanwhile, I am meeting another interesting girl, so I don't have any dependence for my ex.

The problem is yesterday we were talking about rollercoasters and free fall attractions, and out of curiosity I asked her if she has ever had an orgasm in one of these, because I had seen in youtube some videos about girls having too much fun in some weird attraction.

She got angry and, when I tried to explain, she felt more and more unconfortable.

How can I maintain or spark sexual tension if I can't even talk about such a simple thing? There must be a cover way od doing it, but I don't know it.