Ok heres the thing, u might want to tell me what u think..
So there is this girl, last week she told me she ''likes me to death'', she wants to go out with me and be together with me, and called me her BF..but she also told me she hast trust issues cuz of past relationships, and that she fears being cheated on and that no guy is loyal on this earth , that she fears that i would cheat on her as i am a DJ and i probably have a lot of women around me (according to her) bla bla.. i told her that she would be the one for me if we really became a couple, and that it wouldnt make sense for me to spend so much time talking to her (we talk on the phone for hours) or text with her if i wasnt serious and didnt mean it..anyways like two days later i ask her whether we will see each other the weekend,and she is like ''I dont know'' WTF ? what kind of fucked answer is I dont know ? i told her that her answer is fucked up and that me, I wouldnt answer my partner like that..i also said if she doesnt even wanna meet her ''BF'' she shouldnt talk about her trust issues thing and not blame it on me, and if she is bothered about trust so much she should give me a reason to only have eyes for her instead of all the ''other girls'' she mentioned before, and not answer me with a stupid ''i dont know''..then she is like ''i never said u were my BF'' (lol although i have proof of it that she said it, and she knows she did)..and she also said ''you can do whatever u want''..my only answer was ''youre cracking me up with ur shit xD''..then i froze her out for like two days until sunday, hit her up with random BS, she answered with three long sentences, then i replied and after that she didnt say shit anymore..now its tuesday..sooo im so confused is she tryna see whether i really mean it or what ? why is she trippin so much ? she already knows i want her IMO why would i hit her up again after she said all that BS and didnt answer ? ...

EDIT: of course we have dated each other already couple times, she nearly texts me every day, every morning with tons of messages, wants to talk to me on the phone at night (we sometimes talk for hours), she says she feels so comfortable with me and she can be totally herself in every sense etc..

She also told me things like ''she never met someone like me, she hasnt had such a connection to anybody yet, i am really her soulmate, she loves they way we can talk to each other, she can herself, she would never want to hurt my feelings, that we will probably get married one day if we go on like this, that she loves my voice on the phone etc..''

So she says all that, hits me up all day talks to me on the phone everyday but when i wanna meet her she is like ''i dont know'' ?...

OK first, she sounds a bit clingy... but she also sounds very into you.

Her issue here is that she didn't like the fact that you basically told her you wanted to talk to her less... And that it didn't make sense to talk to her as much if you're not a couple.

Why would you say that? It doesn't help you at all... it only hurts her. If you want to talk to her less, just talk to her less... If you want to message her less, just stop messaging as much. You do yourself no favors by telling her something like this.

If you want to be with her and are happy with the current "arrangement" the two of you have, I'd suggest pretending you never said anything like that, and that you initiate contact a few times... and ask her out. Make your intentions clear without actually telling her what they are.

FIrst of all, thank you for your answer.

You wrote

''Her issue here is that she didn't like the fact that you basically told her you wanted to talk to her less... And that it didn't make sense to talk to her as much if you're not a couple.

Why would you say that? It doesn't help you at all... it only hurts her. If you want to talk to her less, just talk to her less... If you want to message her less, just stop messaging as much. You do yourself no favors by telling her something like this.''

What do u mean ? When or where did I say this ? I dont understand what you are trying to say is..do u refer to me freezing her out ?

Btw she also told me things like ''she never met someone like me, she hasnt had such a connection to anybody yet, i am really her soulmate, she loves they way we can talk to each other, she can herself, she would never want to hurt my feelings, that we will probably get married one day if we go on like this, that she loves my voice on the phone etc..''

So she says all that, hits me up all day talks to me on the phone everyday but when i wanna meet her she is like ''i dont know'' ?...

I believe in the giant block of text that was your original post I mis-read what you wrote...

Apologies for that.

I'll amend my advice... Ignore the first part. This part is still true:

If you want to be with her and are happy with the current "arrangement" the two of you have, I'd suggest that you initiate contact a few times... and ask her out. Make your intentions clear without actually telling her what they are.

So what you are saying is that it is fine to re-initiate although she didnt answer me for two days ? this just so confusing for me, the way she is acting, she seems to be into me, but I dont understand why she wouldnt wanna meet me then.

Yes, pretend nothing happened at all.

Don't mention your little fight, or the silent SPAM you're both (very maturely) giving each other. Start up as you normally would.

She just wants to see you're still into her. She's clearly into you.

So, I hit her up last night just like I would normally hit her up.

I guess she shit-tested me ? Wants to see if I'm persistent ?

Here's the convo:

Me: ''(Her Name)''
She: ''Yes''
Me: ''How are u''
She: ''Im fine and u?''
Me: ''fine. at my moms house tonight'' (I have got my own crib, but once in a while I sleep over my moms house)
She: ''all alone?''
Me: ''Nah shes with me. whats crackalackin?''
She: ''Im at (insert city name)
At a girls house
I totally forgot about this shit
I had to make up a girl (she goes to a beauty school, and studies to be a pro make up artist, stuff like that)
Im packing my stuff right now
Then I have to visit (insert guy name here) real quick (its a guy friend of her she knows for years, I guess that was a shit test tho?)
Then Im going home
Me: ''When will u be at home u globetrotter''
She: ''Dont know. Later''
Me: ''We can talk on the phone later. Ill be sleeping in the living room''
She: ''Yes ok i will holla at u''

Then, about an hour later she texts me
She : ''Lets talk. Im home right now''
Me: ''Cant talk right now. Watching tv with my mom. You will be awake anyways right'' (she always goes to bed really late )
She: ''Yeah (guy friend) is still at the gym. I still have to go to his place''
Me: ''Ima holla when we done with watchin tv''
She: ''no. i will text u when im back home''

After that, of course, she didnt text or call.

Was she shittesting me ? Me , personally, I would just hit her up later today but not mention another phone call until she does, and of course not ask her why she didnt call or what she did at that dudes house (if she really went)

Call it a shit test if you'd like... it's more just testing your interest and jealousy, I think.

Not reacting to that is probably the best way to go...

Thats exactly what I did, I ignored the fact she was going to see that dude .

But my point is, she said she would text me when she is back, but she didnt.. should I hit her up again or whait for her now ?

I'd give it a day. Then tomorrow pretend none of this happened and start over...

She's either got some shit happening in her life right now or she's sitting there wondering why the hell you aren't making an effort to chase her.

It's my guess that if she's really into you, you'll hear from her before tomorrow.

Yeah I also guess she mentioned that dude simply to test my reaction, she wanted to talk to me but I somehow broke a lil rapport by telling her I couldnt talk at that moment..

I guess she said ''I'm gonna text u when Im home'' to see if I get jealous and curious what she is apparently doing at that dudes house and why she isnt texting me, why it took her that long ..not gonna work with me tho

Haha! She texted me about an hour ago.

She: ''Sorry. I fell asleep last night.''
Me (i was just at the gym): '' Hi. Im at the gym right now''
She : ''Im going to my sisters house right now. Ill be at home late tonight.''
Me : ''Told u u were a globetrotter ''
She: '' ''

So obviously she was tryna make me jealous with mentioning that guy last night, and not texting me back on purpose, to see whether I would chase her..

Bah. Girlie games!

You're in good hands with Charles.

_________________
Approach. Open. Escalate. Isolate

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