So guys. Here's the deal. Need guidance, there is actually no problem, but I always wanted to know more about 'personal space' and how we guys, boyfriends should act in the situation that I will describe down bellow.

GIRLFRIEND:

Girl is a HB7, by personality she's I'd say above average, she's not a 'slut' kind of girl, actually she had two-three 'real' relationships, she never kissed a guy she wasn't in relationship with actually, she's 19 years old(As I am), cultured and funny. It's very exciting to be around her, mostly because we have much things in common.

SITUATION:

So. Little background. We've been dating for about four months now, as time passes things get better for us, we meet more then three times per week and we always have good, quality time together, when something is bothering her, or me we talk it trough, although, in this relationship she considers me however more 'closed', she insists that I talk about problems with her more often(What do you think about opening to gf when something bothers you? How do you approach her with something I don't like her doing - In general)

The situation: She left on vacation with her sister, and her sisters friends(4 males, 2 girls), so there are 8 people of them total. Usually when she's home, we talk very often, maybe an hour passes or so when we don't chat, or something. But ever since she went on that vacation, she can be very absent, I mean, she still calls me more then three times per day and we talk about half an hour over the phone or so, but she can be absent for like 5-6 or more hours.
What bothers me, does she really have that much fun that she 'forgets' about me? I mean, when I'm around my guys, or other people I always return her text in half an hour or so, but she just 'turns off'. I know she's on vacation, she meets new people and so on, but I feel kind of bad, because I'm always available for her, but she isn't there available for me, unless I call her(Does that make me look too much needy, or something?)
So. Am I jealous because she has such a great time? And I currently don't? Is something wrong with me?
But have this in mind, it's been only two days for now, and I act like:"Baby, It's okay, you have fun there, call me when you have time." Is this too much beta? How should I approach?
Overall, back home she's very dependent on me, she wants to see me all the time, she really does. But when on vacation, it seems to me like she has super-great time and no need for me. But still, keep in mind that she does call every few hours and we do talk a lot, and she's saying always how much she misses me, and how she loves me, and how It would be great if I was around. That's the problem actaully, she says those things, but still calls every 5 hours, it seems to me that she doesn't miss me as much as she says. See? Words vs. Action? Anyone? Am I alone in here? If she really misses me she would text or call me more often, or I am paranoid and to dependent on her?

Keep in mind, she doesn't know how I feel yet about it, and I still didn't give up to my emotions and spill my guts out how bad, lonely I feel without her. So, the frame is intact. My manhood still has hope

How should I respond?

And thanks guys for reading this, I admire people who actually read all this stuff and have willingness to share their wisdom-knowledge and help their fellow buddy.

_________________
Uncertainty is the root of all progress and all growth.

Bingo. You sound paranoid. She is talking to you over an hour a day while she is on vacation? That's plenty. I am not a huge fan of my girl going on a vacation with a bunch of dudes without me, but in a relationship you have to lay down the rules. Either you trust her or you don't. If you do trust her then quit freaking out. If I was the one on vacation and my girl wanted me to call her every single hour I'd reevaluate the relationship because that is some hardcore clingy-ness dude. The last thing you want is for her to be on vacation and you are ruining her fun. When she calls you should be saying "sorry baby can't talk, out with the guys, miss you so much, have fun, bye". Let her know that you can live without her.

Ty breedlove465.

Yes. While you did answer my question, I also saw from your reply that I shouldn't ruin her fun. And I don't, as I said, I still didn't said anything 'wrong', by wrong I mean texts like "Where are you all day? Why you don't contact me?" And so on, things like why is she so absent and so on.

Another thing that I read somewhere, and that might be the cause for this whole mess is that "Absence makes the hearth grow fonder". But, I'm proud of myself that I still 'keep the game on', I don't send her more then one text when I see that she isn't available, or even call her, instead I text her to call me when she can. How's that move? Should I command her to call me, or something, because then again, I'm not a jerk, but still I want to maintain that 'Alpha' status.

The problem with me is that I want to find the right balance between AFC and 'PUA', I don't want her to think I'm to needy but then again I don't want to seem like I don't care either. So, any advices on that matter? Thanks in advance!

Also, see the big irony? I can really control myself, and in her eyes I'm still the alpha, but I still have huge insecurities and worries, and sometimes I do feel lonely, but I'm still playing the 'cool card'.

_________________
Uncertainty is the root of all progress and all growth.

Hi Cross De Lena,

Couple things I'd note:

1) The other poster is correct. You are coming across (to me) as needy - really needy... I think it's good that you haven't shown her any of this side of you. It would probably be perceived as unattractive - though she sounds just as needy.

I'd be my advice to you to just chill out. Stop worrying about it. She's on vacation and you're not bringing her back early with messages or calls. If she's out having a good time, great. The fact she's in such frequent contact seems like fairly solid evidence you don't have much to worry about in as far as her cheating or anything like that.

Plus - you trust her, correct? If so then let her have a good time. If not, you maybe shouldn't be with her.

Her connectivity or wi-fi could be playing a role in her response delays - but honestly... a delay of several hours while she's having fun on a beach is completely reasonable. (Personally, I wouldn't expect much of a reply at all if it was my girlfriend - knowing full well she's doing other stuff).


2) She's your girlfriend. This isn't really pickup for you anymore. You are, however, acting like a bit of a chump with your feelings and paranoia (you do seem paranoid). You're doing the right thing by not showing this side of you to her.

Just let it go. She'll be back shortly.

Id say that the only time you should command her to call you is if there is something really important to talk about, which isn't common. And even then it should be "Hey call me asap, shit's going down"

Dude, I'm not saying this to be mean, but to help you out. Get other hobbies, get more friends, be more social. You shouldn't have these feelings for a girl. I'm not talking about you should never fall in love with a girl, but you shouldn't have this level of neediness etc.

Even if you have done a good job of keeping that away from her, you won't be able to do it forever. And most likely she has a sense of it. Go out with your friends. Make new friends.

And being "PUA" doesn't mean you don't care at all, although yes, I have heard some people in the community say similar things. But you should make it clear that you aren't so in to her that you will put up with anything and everything. It means that you are man enough to drop her ass in an instant if need be. Never be afraid to walk away.

Thanks CharlesFinley and breedlove465 for your advices It really helps a lot. I'm just kind of person, needy person, but throughout time I learned to control my feelings, and telling or requesting her to contact me more often would not only make me unattractive as CharlesFinley said, but also selfish, it would create only negative emotions, I would push her away which means I would feel much worse because my selfishness.

And as breedlove465 said I should be more social, but I'm mostly stuffed home with books I read and writing(English is not my native language, I'm from Croatia actually). I have friends and I do spend time with them, but I still thought of her, but now, it is different because my eyes were wide shut all the time and I get the picture now, she's not(As much I would like) be my life, and I don't own her(Until/if i put a ring around her finger), she is my GF and she knows that, because I said this to her much earlier in relationship, she knows I won't run for her if she has a bad attitude, or behave in way I think it's inappropriate.

I realize only now when I'm typing, that I have actually a really solid frame, and she's in it. I'm afraid things won't get out of the hand later on. Sometimes when I feel lonely without her, I'm like this, feeling the urge to seek advice. I'm grateful for your reply's guys.

I'm new to this forum, but I'm not that new when comes to dating and women. But, still. I have this feel that I should always watch out, and constantly upgrading my knowledge with guys who have more wit, who are more smart - have greater knowledge because I believe we learn our whole lives, and thinking like "I know everything" Is in my opinion just plain dumb, we should always seek perfection, although we know, there is no such a thing. It's about the pursuit. So expect more posts like this. Thanks again

Live every day like it is your truly last, then you will find how great life is.

_________________
Uncertainty is the root of all progress and all growth.