Girlfriend:
Girlfriend is a (in my opinion) 10/10, and 10 by her personality. She's funny, creative, intelligent, determined, very humble and very genuine. Been dating exclusively for almost 1 year and 8 months. We are often on the same wavelength, we have a typical "good relationship". She has a small but close circle of friends whom I all get along with and her best friend is also in a relationship. We chat every day and meet up in person every other day and we (used to) have very good chemistry. She describes me as being "above and beyond" as a boyfriend. So things seem good right?

Situation:
Perhaps it is just me, but in the past couple of months the quality of our relationship has been declining and we're losing our chemistry. Our sex life has been declining (though she works a night job at a bar/nightclub so she is usually tired) but when she does have enough energy, it doesn't feel like she really wants me. It just feels like we simply "do it" and that's that aka a lack of passion. And I thought this could be because of my appearance or my personality. I feel I have let myself go appearance wise. And I have a very similar personality to hers but sometimes I feel suppressed - like being with her just drains my energy and happiness. She rarely compliments me anymore, her efforts toward the relationship are declining and that's got me thinking - am I to blame? It's fair to say my self-esteem has taken a hit. Our relationship simply doesn't feel as rewarding or fulfilling as it used to. At times it feels like she doesn't care about our relationship and doesn't want me. This is evident in her behavior, her body language, even the way she talks to me - sometimes she talks down at me. And these things add up and create my self-doubt. And self-doubt as some of you may know, is like a cancer for happiness and self-fulfillment.

Problem:
I want to go back to "my old self". Where I was confident, determined, where I woke up in the morning and felt good. I used to be very driven, I did things with my time and I felt happy in my relationship. To re-iterate, I love my GF very much and she loves me very much, but I want to do what I can personally to improve our relationship and improve my self-esteem hand-in-hand.

tl;dr, I want to feel happier with myself but the current state of my relationship is harming my self-esteem and I want to improve myself.

Any ideas on how to improve myself and become happier in myself are much appreciated

- Alex

What's stopping you from doing just that? What's stopping you from being a man, the man you were?

The balance is shifting, and your the cause.

You becoming needy, more of a yes man? Doing things (you think) that please her? Non confrontational? Putting in a shit ton of effort without much return? Even buying fucking flowers and shit?

The reason why WOMEN hate guys that are needy is because girls are attracted to MEN. Being needy is a characteristic of a child not a man. A Guy who acts like a child (needy) “is asking" a girl to treat you like a mother and girls hate that. Women want a man that can lead them into wonderful experiences. Women want a man that can make them feel beautiful, sexy, fun, safe, excitement, desire, attraction, all at the same time, regardless of age, income, or looks. A woman has to surrender to you in order for these things to happen. How do you expect her to do this if you are the one acting needy? How do you make her feel all these amazing emotions if you're the needy one? A real man has to be a leader. Then women will follow you. When YOU are a leader then the needy ones will come to you. So when a woman needs love and intimacy she will not only like and want you, she will worship you.

_________________
They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

I will start by saying that the 2nd year of a relationship tend to be problematic. At this point the feeling of excitement starts wearing out and both of you may feel comfortable enough to show your not-so-good side. The problem isn’t that things aren’t exciting and that some days one of you is in a bad mood. The problem are the expectations that if a relationship is not on fire (like at the beginning) something is wrong.

I’m in a LTR and been living with my bf for more than 2 years. Do we have passionate sex every time? We don’t. Yet we are happy and very stable.

For a relationship to work both people must want and be ready to make it work. I don’t know you or your gf so I won’t offer irresponsible advice. I will just warn you that not all relationships are based on alpha male ideals. My bf is not afraid to buy me flowers or chocolates. He’s very sensitive toward animals and has self-esteem problems sometimes. My respect for him do not falter because of that. I admire him, respect and love him just the way he is. That is something to consider.