Went out on a date with my gf the other day and I noticed that we didn't talk much just maintained a lot of eye contact. We were drinking and had a good time, but I wish we could have just flowed into natural conversation.

Do any of you have any tips for this? Like if you run out of things to say, or cool things to do when it's just you two in a bar/club/lounge and the talking dies down?

Also, she's also been talking a lot how she likes guys that are totally in love with themselves. I like the things I do, but I'm far from in love with myself. I want to get there for me. Is this all mental reframing, ego dissolvement, or something else?

Let me know any thoughts you may have or advice.

Yep... 2 things:

1) Ask a lot of questions. Make her do a lot of the talking. Not boring ones like hopes and dreams either. Ask shit like what their best celebrity encounter was... whether they think there are aliens and if abductions are real... whether she's ever had sex in a plane - whatever...

2) People watch. Match people to their celebrity doubles (Oh! Look! There's a hispanic Joe Pesci!")... or observe couples and try and figure out if they've fucked yet...

The two points above sound innocent enough but if you execute them well you can get sexual without her really even knowing it.

Thanks for the response.

We people watch a lot and it's good fun, but there are times when it's not possible because of the environment and so on.

As for the second one, that was the one I had in my head, but I feel like asking questions, even if they're open ended, come across as interviewing. Do you think it's more about how you say it rather than what you say? For instance, "tell me some new passions you have", I'm have a bit of trouble being creative with these kind of questions some times..

Yeah, stay away from an interview tone for sure... It's all about delivery.

Like... tell her a story about a flight you took and something funny that happened... like a couple was fucking in their seats under their coats or something... and then you can mash it into a question to her... "ever had sex in a plane?"

Playfulness is key. If you're asking questions in a joking, un-threatening way it won't feel like an interview.

Your advice opened up a lot of doors for and got me interested so I did some research and looked around YouTube for some advice on this. Since we're all about self-help here, I wanted to share this video I found for anyone that finds it useful or gains insight from it.


This guy speaks about how to keep a conversation in a way that puts the pressure on the girl to continue the conversation going with many other points too.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b-a1jXgAsQI


@ The 14 minutes the topic arises

@ The 17 minute mark he addresses how to fix it


Cheers,

You're looking for conversation topics for you gf?

This pertains to your gf?! How can someone feel awkward around a woman they're dating?

Anyway, when you run short on things to say, just touch her. Hold her, hug her, kiss her. Silence is golden sometimes.

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.... I believe I missed that portion of the original post.

Girlfriend? Seriously?

You may want to look for another girlfriend if you can't fill time together!

haha, yea it's the girlfriend. It's not akward at all, I'm just trying to spice shit up a bit. The silence in my head builds a light anxiety where I feel like we could be talking about something with a bit more substance. I'm looking for tips to become more of a conversationalist with people. With new women it's easy because you don't know anything about them and there are just tons of thing to talk about. When you're with someone for 6 months + you know a lot about them already.

Does that make sense? I should have clarified that prior.

You should be experiencing things together to build that relationship as well as new things on your own to maintain sense of self. I imagine you could fill a lot of time with things like that.

_________________
FREE Confidence Ebook:https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/487644

Motivation, Attitude and Growth! The MAG Blog
http://wearemag.blogspot.com/
@TheMAGblog