| Hi
When entering a new relationship, how do you suggest dealing with her friends when some are "difficult"? In my experience some of the difficult friends will ignore you throughout social interactions and wait for you to prove yourself socially and win them over. I hate this dynamic. In other words, some friends can be warm and welcoming while others play the "I ignore you card until you show me that you are funny".
Some more cynical ones will throw little subtle shitty neg darts. These negs, are to me dangerous to take the hook because if I throw negs back, I am allowing for this type of dynamic with the friend (usually a woman) to develop and escalate. Once I encounter such subtle antagonistic friends I tend to stay with them guarded and internally tense, almost self conscious. Were they not the friends of the woman I am seeing, it would be a different story and I would have no problem fucking back with them and laying down the line quickly and even in a mean way. But, in social circles situations, this can backfire, specially when the woman Im dating is still a new thing. Also a big part of the challenge when entering an established social group is that they know each other well and are very comfortable. How to
I dont want to operate like I need to prove to the cynical friends, that I am super funny or super charming. Basically, I quickly identify in myself that I dont like them, so its hard for me to justify that I need to win them over. It becomes a kiss ass dance.
I want to be strong internally and have them notice somehow that they need to respect me.
Of course, I know by the same token I do need to be very social, high energy, engaging, talkative and yes make an big effort.
What are your suggestions?
Im in my early 40s, so are most women I date (or in their 30's)
Thanks
Reflex
|
CHAT