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I'm going to give you some of the most human advice I can muster:
The Facts:
1. Your girl has already developed feelings for your best friend. Its just part of a natural human reaction to growing closer to an interesting, attractive individual of the opposite sex. THIS IS WHY GOOD GIRLFRIENDS DON'T SPEND AN INORDINATE AMOUNT OF TIME WITH THEIR BOYFRIEND'S MALE FRIENDS. She may mistakenly believe that it will not develop further, but females are NOT creatures of logic, they are creatures of emotion. And emotions are slowly leading to an affair, 2 broken hearts, and 1 broken friendship.
2. Your friend is aiming to fuck your girlfriend. Its just part of a natural human reaction to growing closer to an interesting, attractive individual of the opposite sex. THIS IS WHY GOOD FRIENDS DON'T SPEND AN INORDINATE AMOUNT OF TIME WITH THEIR BEST FRIEND'S GIRLFRIENDS. Personal habits, as well as the strongest biological urge of all mankind has probably pushed him past the point of no return, where he knows he will fuck your girl if he gets the opportunity. That opportunity may come in the form of one of the many social interactions they've been sharing + alcohol. This is coming from a guy who has had relations with my friend's girlfriends. I'm not proud of my selfishness, but you should understand this mindset, and so I share.
3. You are passive as hell. Your false ideas of "playing it cool" and "not over-reacting" are convincing you to sit by and do nothing while your girl is slowly creeping away from you and your life spirals into an extremely depressing state. Even the coolest man alive has periods of insecurity, rage, fear, etc. How you express these emotions is what makes you attractive, not the full suppression of them.
The Advice:
You are in a tricky spot, and regardless of what happens, you're going to be taking a risk and learning a valuable lesson for the future. My first piece of advice is to take full conscious responsibility for what you will do. Don't worry about overreacting, or how other people will see you. Trust yourself man. You already know the answer, and as a man, its up to you to decide the situation. Not your girl. Not your friend. Not even any of us. There is a time to be laid back, but also a time to act with full intention.
My second piece of advice is to really decide what is important to you. Honestly, I would never feel comfortable with my girl and best friend chilling all the time. All of my good friends, and good girlfriends already agree. Why? Because its human nature to be unfaithful, want to have sex with someone that has been so strongly validated socially, and grow feelings for people we hang around with. You don't have to be a dirtbag to follow this path, its in all of us already. Personally, I think your girlfriend is acting out of ignorance, and your friend out of selfishness, but I may be wrong. Either way its probably going to end badly the route its going. If you decide this is not what you want (obviously you may have learned by now why you keep girlfriends/best friends at a casual distance), I would just confront both of them, and let them know how you feel, and what you want). If they disagree, then you should have no qualms about cutting either one off and pursuing relationships with like-minded people. We all grow and change over time. If you truly feel like its not a big deal, enjoy the experience and I hope you learn something 28 years of living has failed to show me. Either way act from a point of true conviction and wisdom, not from where either one of them are coming from. Like I said, most women are simply ignorant of what their feelings of capable of, most men are selfish when it comes to sex. Trust yourself.
As far as the guys saying freeze her out and all that. Why? Do you think at this point its really smart to play games? I suppose its a decent option, but I think the underlying problem is that you are ok with everything thats happening. Whats the point of distancing yourself if you still don't mind them chilling all the time while you are away? Are you sure your girls feelings are so strong for you, and so weak for him, that your absence will be a blessing, not a curse? And as someone else mentioned...you're a man. You shouldn't have to resort to mindgames, headaches, aggravation, etc. If you're going to be distanced, do it from a stance of authenticity...that is, you really are no longer interested in pursuing this relationship.
The Conclusion:
Why in the world are you ok with your girl and best friend hanging out all the time? Check yourself first, to make sure you fully realize why this is a terrible idea, and then check both of them. If they don't follow your philosophy, either out of ignorance, selfishness, or an honest difference in opinion, you are better off being a man about it, sucking up the pain, and finding higher quality people to be around. If you truly feel its ok for them to be spending so much time together, take other advice and play lots of games, raise your stress levels, and learn from your own decisions.
That being said, your girlfriend sounds like she has a lot of mistakes to make in this world, and doesn't yet understand the basic prerequisites for avoiding an affair, or even how to treat a man. Maybe she's willing to learn, maybe not. These are things that a girl usually learns after years of loose behavior, breaking hearts, being played, and worse. Your "friend" sounds like a really selfish prick who wouldn't pass up an opportunity to have sex with someone you care about. Just my impressions. Either way, you need to decide if these are the type of people you're worth, and if you're willing to endure the potential outcomes. Make your decision not based on how people will perceive your reactions....but from the core of your truth and knowledge.
Good luck, and let us know what happens!
P.S. Next time you don't want to go someplace, just don't go! Don't feel pressured to go along with the crowd. That would be the perfect opportunity to take your girl someplace else, and experience something you've both never experienced before...instead of letting your bestfriend dictate both your weekends. Plus you get the added bonus of seeing whether your girl is really loyal enough to switch up plans and follow your lead...or choose to follow your friend's instead. The world is yours my friend! Best of luck...
the best and only opinion worth considering so far. previously id try all the BS that others have suggested here. so glad i managed to change my thought process in situations like this. i have faced a similar sitch with a girl i been in a relationship for four years. she went on two seperate dates with two guys. one was minging, the other was at the opposite end of the spectrum, like a CK model. i just told her "remember to have fun". those dates lasted about two hours max before she hurried her ass back home. i lost that sorta cool over time, and do as suggested by most people here and play games. fuck that shit. always live by your values. peace
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