Hey guys, I've been thinking about this for a while and it's been eating at me a little so any advice would be very appreciated as I'm looking for new angles to think from.

I'm a little frustrated...but not for the reason that most guys might think. I'm very good at picking up women at bars and getting the SNL, in fact almost every weekend this happens. I'm very good at making a b-line for any girl that I find attractive and eventually taking her home within the night. In the past year I've slept with maybe 30 women and mostly attractive (I've made some mistakes), and I only go out on weekends. Granted I live in New Orleans and it is easier than most cities to pull an SNL but I'm better at it than a vast majority of locals and anyone I know. Last weekend I managed to pull six beautiful women outside of a historic bar here and take them to another spot before ending home with someone else equally as beautiful. The women I pull are about 60/40 locals/tourists. It's lots of fun but I have one big issue.

It's seemingly impossible for me to find a relationship. I'm horrible at it. Every few months I meet someone or take someone home that I would like to get to know a little and maybe date and it seems to fizzle out before a month at the most even when I'm still into the girl.

This wouldn't be such a big deal but I'm 28 now and my longest relationship has been 10 months, 5 of those months being long distance, and the girl being a French study abroad student at my college for a semester. Sometimes I think I was only able to start a relationship with her in the first place because she was in a strange country and I was the guy that was there to show her around. I swept her feet off enough to continue a relationship for 5 months afterwards but despite plans to travel during summers with her and possibly move together in France, she left me.

I feel as if I'm missing out on an important life and learning experience of long term relationships here.

The last girl I dated wasn't the most attractive of women I've chilled with. She'd been a neighbor and moved so she was familiar and good grounds to possibly start a relationship. Never picked her up at a bar but I saw her, asked her out and we would go for walks daily. She told me she was scared because she really liked me a lot, I asked her if she wanted to try an exclusive thing and she said sure. Then she eluded to the fact after visiting friends in Colorado that she might move there, partly for a guy that she's known for a while. I broke up with her. And it was probably good because I feel I might've been settling in the first place.

So that brings me to this girl that I've hooked up with a few times, she just left my house this morning for the third time. She's beautiful and pretty cool and I would like to really get to know her and see if things are right. However last night she told me that she wasn't looking for a relationship. Same story with me. It's like I'm good for a thrill or a number of thrills but nothing more and the more is something that I've been missing. I'm going pub crawling with her tonight and if things go the way they always go, I will take her back home we will have sex and this might happen a few more times until she meets someone she wants a relationship with, then she'll ignore a text or two and I'll move on to meet some other girl.

A little about me. I'm a full time Special Education teacher, good listener and very nice person who isn't afraid to make fun of someone in a playful way. I'm happy go lucky and like to have a good time and try my best to make memorable experiences for people. I've done amazing work oversees and founded a project in Haiti which has come a long way and has been granted $100,000. I can start a conversation with a lot of people and keep them going. Never mean, but I'll be truthful if I think someones stepped a line. Every day I try my best to just be a good person and to share good experiences and help anyone in need and people get this. Maybe I'm not challenging to these women, but I would think at least one cool girl would want to give a successful just good hearted guy like myself a shot.

I don't know...I'm a reflective guy and cant come up with an answer so I'm reaching out to anyone that can maybe get me thinking in a different angle that would put things to light. Any help would be appreciated a lot.

Stop justifying yourself. Your charity work is great, but let's be real, lots of girls don't give a shit about charity.

Your mindset is all wrong. You come in all like "This is what I am, I help disabled people, I'm a good person, I offer all this value, I'm high value,.... GIRLZ, Y U NO LIKE ME??!!" but you're thinking too much about what you can provide for women instead what THEY can provide for YOU. Instead of thinking how you can please women, think about how they can please you.

Important questions to ask:
1) How good are you in bed? Can you make a girl cum guaranteed every time? Minimum of 3x times per fuck?
2) Who usually brings up the idea of a relationship? The girl or you?
3) If you are picking up women at the weekend I assume you are talking about clubbing environments? Not good hunting ground for girlfriends, but great for hunting FWBs / FBs.

Hey Hunter_Foxe. You're right in that many girls could give a shit about my work with disabled kids and in Haiti they honestly have no reason to if they don't want to. I think this might get my foot in the door as to someone who's been successful at what they do when picking up women but I don't know what this does for me more than that.

When it's a girl I like I'll elude to the idea of a relationship at one point usually, what do you think is best here?

In terms of sex, I think every girls different in how many times you can make them cum, but I think that there aren't any real problems here as girls I've slept with before often look forward to doing it again and when I'm not too drunk I do very well.

Most of the places that I meet women are at bars not clubs, I'm not a clubbing guy and New Orleans isn't the biggest clubbing city. I usually go solo, although sometimes with friends. But even when it isn't a bar that I meet someone it's the same old pattern.

I don't know, that's what I do, I'm a considerate dude. I don't play games and I don't like when bullshit enters into my relationships so I keep it simple and fun and honest. I'm not afraid to let someone know when they've fucked up but I also try my best to do it in a productive way. When I do think about what I want its just more of what I believe is important in life and that's strong and positive relationships with people. Somethings been fucking me up though and it sucks.

What is your opinion on how I should approach this new girl, she's beautiful and I have no idea if were good for one another but I'd like to figure that out before she does what every girl does and moves to something else.

Thanks for the feedback man.

Thanks for the feedback man.

As a general rule, keep fucking a girl until she suggests a relationship. The reason why is girls like to chase a guy, they like the challenge of tying him down into a relationship. If you offer it to her on a plate when all she had to do was open her legs, she won't feel like she has earned it. Make her work for it. Don't offer to be her boyfriend.

You can be a good person and still keep helping those less fortunate than yourself. But do it because you want to do it, not because you want other people to give you praise. Why don't you start being a good person to yourself for once? You seem like the sort of person who puts others before himself, as a Christian would. But women don't want a guy who treats them like that. Why? Because it's predictable and boring. If you're Mr Nice Guy all the time, there is no excitement for her.

I like to use the analogy of a computer game. If you are nice all the time, it's like being stuck on Easy Mode on Level 1 on Super Mario. She completes the level (sex with you) then wants to move onto Level 2. But because you never challenge her, she feels like she is completing Level 1 over and over again. After a few weeks she gets bored of Level 1 and finds a Level 5 guy or jumps to a Bowser's Castle guy.

Hunter_Fox just wanted to pop in and tell you thanks for the advice the Mario metaphor is a good one and put it in perspective. Solid advice.