I've been seeing this girl for a while now, she's a gorgeous mixed race girl. Here are a few things:

1. She is going traveling for several months mid February - I knew this from day one and have been very realistic about it, we're not official and we are just enjoying our time together while we can. Those plans were made before she was with me so as far as I am concerned, I have no jurisdiction over this.

2. I took her virginity and gave her her first every orgasm.

Why are these two points related? We'll get to that.

The other day the topic of "What do we do while you're traveling" came up. I said something like:

"I am very fond of you, I enjoy our time together and I feel like we have a great connection, but I have been realistic at the start. You're young and you want to travel and see the world, and I am not going to put any pressure on you whatsoever, not going to put any expectations that may cause jealousy or mistrust for either of us. You're free to go and have an amazing time traveling and as long as I get the occasional email so I know you're not dead and that you're having a great time, what you get up to is you're business. However, when you come back, I am still going to be here and I am still going to be fond of you, so there is nothing stopping us from picking things up when you get back if that is what we both want to do"

I think that was the correct response, I know there is no point getting needy or beta or forcing exclusivity when she is out of the country because tbh I am not going four months without a fuck myself!

But my question is, if I remain non-needy, give her orgasms and be the best I can be, will that connection spark up again when she returns? Because I would be interested in seeing her again once she comes back but I don't want pressure or expectations, I DO NOT want her to feel like I am a war widow waiting longingly for her return.

I care about her and I want her to have a fantastic time with no pressure or baggage from me, but also would like the chance to resume things basically.

UPDATE:

She was a bit distant with me the last few days and it kinda bugged me but I didn't get needy or anything, and then she tells me that she got the results back from an MRI scan she had. I was aware that she occasionally had pins and needles in her legs and wanted to be examined by a neurologist.

Basically, she needs blood tests and a lumbar puncture to assess whether she may have Multiple Sclerosis. I mean, yeah, that's a biggie and a real wad of shit handed her way. I can perfectly understand her being distant while she has all the anxiety of waiting for a potentially life altering diagnosis.

I don't know what to do. I just want her to be ok. What the fuck do I say in the worst case scenario? So far I talked to her about it, gave what advice I could and told her I would be there for her.

The problem here is that you are viewing her as some precious object when in fact she us just an hb. Remain in a mindset of non neediness, you cannot exhaust yourself thinking about what she will give you in the future, it might never happen again for all you know. Be a pua and have no expectations. As far as her diagnosis, best of wishes

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The secret to most things is to never hold yourself to other people's standards.

I've got a date with another girl tomorrow and another next week, because I could feel I was getting very attached. But damn, this potential MS thing has thrown me for a loop.

Fuck that's rough - MS out of nowhere. Does that put her vacation/trip plans in limbo, out of curiosity. And if it did, would that change your outlook on things?

I don't think your statement to her about going away and having fun was even remotely needy. It was concise... Now with that said - who knows how SHE'LL interpret that. If she's mature then maybe it'll go over as intended.

To answer your question - in my opinion you'd be doing yourself a disservice if you actually liked this girl and didn't tell her something like that before she left.

She said she had pins and needles occasionally and had an MRI booked when I met her. So it isn't exactly out of the blue, but I didn't think it would be MS in my naivete that everything would be fine.

I have told her that I like her, and she likes me, but we have to be realistic really. She still plans to go, and that's fine by me unless she gets another attack and it worsens, or how major this lumbar puncture is that she is having at the end of this month.

If it did put her travel plans in limbo... Then to be perfectly honest, I would want to be with her, MS or not. She's absolutely adorable, hasn't really even given me a shit test whatsoever, good relationship with her parents, doesn't play any jealousy games like most girls her age.

Obviously I would rather she be healthy and go traveling, rather than staying here with me because of a disease.

We'll see how things go I guess.

Another update:

Perhaps I should be distancing... But I was invited for dinner at her house, she lives with her parents. Her Mother introduced me to her friend and her Father as her boyfriend. They asked us how long we had been together etc. I wasn't aware of any official label, but perhaps this is just easier for her to explain or maybe it is how the girl sees us?

I had a pleasant evening, going into "parents mode" where I am fairly quiet and reserved, smile a lot and show excellent manners whilst contributing enough conversation to be charming and likeable.

But guys... I am falling here. This girl, she's going away soon for a few months, but whenever I am with her everything feels right in the world. This is a problem of mine, getting attached easily but I am still lucid and rational enough to be realistic, but at the same time, I can't find the bad stuff about her...

I know that its dumb to just be a serial monogamist, though I have fucked two girls since consistently dating this one, but holy shit can I be blinded that much? I don't believe in "the one" or that nonsense, but I have never felt such comfort and natural companionship with any girl before and it just sucks she is going away I guess.

Feels like we're getting serious, so I am going to give her my favourite necklace before she goes and tell her "I need that back" and then let her do her own thing, I feel like she will come back to me unless I bomb it somehow.

Also, she's mixed race and I don't think any white girl could compete with her body haha. Mixed race/black girls have the sexiest bodies ever.