I hadn't been insecure in this relationship until a few days ago. It's just a thing you cannot walk past and ignore when you see it. Didn't want to discuss it so I just broke up with her. I don't plan on spying or being like that if I get the clarification I need. I have feelings so I want to get to the bottom of this before I am done with the relationship.

Hey man. In a past year I had two difficult relationships and I know exactly what you're talking about here and that this is big issue. I think that there is a chance that she just ran on her ex online, needed to exchange a few words with someone and that can happen too. Don't break up with her until you reach the point where you can't stand that shit anymore, because if you break up with her for a 2nd time and somehow realize that you made a mistake you can't comeback. I mean, ofc you can but then your value will be so low that she will forget why she hooked up with you for the first time and you'll just end up heartbroken. Just try to put aside this ex issue for a while because it can(and will) overshadow nice memories you too have, take her to a beach, or go banji jump, on a roller coaster, whatever funny, make new memories and if this shit appears again, well just end relationship and move on.
P. S. You can also play some drinking game with her and after a while when she gets wasted ask her about her ex, but make it look natural so she won't regret it in the morning because she talked about her ex with you, mention your ex or something, talk about some beggar you ran on today that looks alike her ex but his older version and when you two start laughing about that ask her what was he like, or something and by the way she talks about him you can see does she feels something about him or not but don't forget to mention your ex and some other guy she's been with before that guy so she won't become suspicious about your intentions.
But fuck this manipulative shit, do it only if you really need to because you may end up feeling bad about that. Go with the new experiences with her but only good ones.

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Insanity is doing the same things over and over and expecting different results.

Hey, I haven't posted on here in a good while but this thread compelled me to do so.

I will be blunt about it, but nothing I've read seems to me that this relationship will work out good. I know if I was in your situation, I probably would have done the same as you and well done for putting her in a position where she realises she needs you.

However, I've been in a similar situation and what I learnt, and what female friends have told me in the past is: Human beings are creatures of habit and when you get to know someone, you get to know their patterns. Once someone starts to regularly break their pattern, that's when it's time to tread carefully. An example of this was with my last ex; I literally saw her every day (when I was between jobs), one day she was going on about me surprising her and coming to her workplace, (which she didn't know I was going to do), we had a nice chat and stuff and she messaged me after to tell me she was going to come round to hang out, as she always did. Only to tell me a few hours later she was too tired to come around. I knew this was a break in her pattern because my place was on her way home, she was always tired anyway and all we ever did most evenings was fuck and watch a movie in bed. Transpired a few days later that she had been chatting to other men on SPAM, because her abusive ex had got wind of her being in a new relationship and had been contacting her about getting back together. I dumped her shortly after and she showed the same behaviour in trying to get me back.

I HATE SPAM for this very reason, even if it appears she's just talking to you, she could be replying to 5 other guys messages the same time she's online with you. My next relationship, I'm just going to delete SPAM and go back to texting because that app can make it very easy for you to get insecure/anxious.

Not sure how you were able to see she had been talking to her ex at those times, but I must stress, that it is very easy to forget OTHER means of communication. Her ex could be calling her while you sleep, texting her and emailing her during the day and talking on facebook. You'll never know. But if you suspect they are talking, frequently, they probably are. And if they are talking frequently, they're close to, if not banging.

As soon as she explained how dramatic her last relationship was, I would've been out of there like a shot. Sounds like there's some real baggage left behind there (albeit on his side). If you're still with her, she needs to cut him out completely and as mentioned, you need to call him in front of her. If she doesn't let you, end it. If she does and he intimates something is still going on, end it.

Life is too short to be fucked over by one chick and have it effect you for the rest of your relationships. Do you think cavemen worried about this shit? They wouldve found another mate and carried on with shit. Go out with your buddies and enjoy life, you'll soon forget about her if you're out having fun and living life and chances are someone will fill her gap quickly, if you let them.

Good luck bro, hope it works out.

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REBORN