How do you think this will end if you do get her? It shows a lack of character to not break it off with bf before jumping on your dick. The worst part of that is dude just asked her to be honest about it and he's cool with it. She said she's emotionally weak. I believe her.....

I have to disagree. When a boyfriend objection arises, it is quite effective to say simply in a deadpan non-humorous fashion "Would you like another?"

It feels the same way to women that it would to a man. Imagine, you are talking to a women and she says you are hot. You say "I have a girlfriend" and she says "Want another?" Your cock gets hard.

It's a boyfriend destroyer because you set out with the intention of fucking her every which way to Sunday and not giving 1 shit about her boyfriend. Make it better, be a better man and the boyfrie4nd will be forgotten about in no time.

I only say it because it has worked for me.

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That's my $0.02

-Bluesy

Its no more a BF destroyer than her having already made her mind up that she's going to cheat whether she does so as a 'way out' or whatever.

Again, BF destroyers don't work. Thinking they do is tantamount to believing in the pegasus.

They do work. And I don`t THINK they work - I KNOW they work. Believe me. I`ll admit you have to get the timing right though. If she is head over heels with the bf then you got your work cut out, but anything less than that and you have a shot - long game/short game, whatever. If she`s gonna cheat it doesn`t neceassarily mean she`ll cheat with anyone, she`ll cheat with the man that she BELIEVES is of higher status than her current bf. Seen it a million times, done it myself (unintentionally and intentionally), and will see it a million more times in the future. They work, you just gotta frame it right.

When I recognised I could do this (without being conscious of any technique) I stopped doing it. But I could do it again if I wanted to.

Thank you all for setting me straight! I have forgotten my ways and I'm back in the right frame of mind.

I've gone MIA on her and I've been busy so I've had time to take a step back and take in all your advice. I'm going out tonight and I plan on sarging and getting over this oneitis.

I plan on keeping her as a FB and see where that goes. No more brining up feelings, talking about her BF or breaking up with him.

If she wants to get with this awesome, Alpha male, she's gotta work for it. I'm done chasing. I'll contact her in a week or so, only when I wanna hook up. No more date nights and treating her like a GF.

Game on, boys!

K

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In a world of compromise, some men don't.

Last night I went out, met some girls and got a few numbers. I plan on going out more this weekend but I got a question:

I'm new to the FWB game. It's been 4 days since I've last contacted/heard from this girl. I still wanna hook up with her, but I'm not gonna bring up feelings, getting her to break up with her BF and being my GF and all that AFC crap.

Should I still freeze her out and wait for her to contact me before setting something up, or just go ahead and call her to hook up?

As FWB, is the rule just contact when you wanna hook up?

Thanks!

K

_________________
In a world of compromise, some men don't.

First
I agree with the above posts alot.
Pay attention to just about how unanimous it is in here.

You've made some mistakes (and that's ok because you're human and still learning)

But part of becoming successful with women is knowing what to do and say, in the moment. Trust me, I fucked it up alot when younger and while we are the same age, I've been utilizing this stuff for over a decade.

My take on the situation, to constructively help you get your mind right moving forward is:

You are a man.
She is a woman.
That means for her to be with you,
YOU call the shots.
You "allow" her to do things but if she wants to be with you, it's your way, or the highway.
So, when she tells you not to fuck other women and you agree, you are allowing her to control the situation. Also, you're allowing her to see the other dude freely.

"Not caring", as often advised, to me, means to not care about the "relationship status", not her as a person.. but it also means that even though you like her and care about her, you do NOT care if it "works out" unless it is your terms.

Right now, it is NOT your terms.

Now you are stuck pulling an ultimatum, which yes is the move, because when she first says, "Im confused with how I feel about him.. blah bkah blah.. dont sleep with other women behind my back" you, immediately are supposed to yank it away from her.
Is she exclusively your woman?
NO
So then what grounds does she have to tell you that you can or cannot spend your time with other women?
answer: ZERO
All she has to do is become exclusive and lock you up but she wont because right now she gets both of you.

NEXT time, you say,"Im not comfortable agreeing to not see other women for a woman that is not willing to be exclusive with me as well"
Something along those lines.
A hardcore dude that REALLY dont give a shit would
say,"Fuck you bitch. You arent my boss"
I like a less harsh approaxh earlier:
"Dont boss me woman"
Let her know, youre a man and she will not be telling YOU what to do.
It is about self respect.
Does someone who allows their partner to cheat on them TRULY respect himself?
NO
You tell her upfront that you want her but you dont share
and if she isnt down with that, yank away access.
Go get busy making yourself better and give HER the space to decide.
You need to show women from thw get go, I like you, I want you but if you are going to invest your time, she will respect you or else you're gone.
Zero tolerance.
Also, you need to use frames early on to frame her as the pursuer, until you can get a crossover dynamic where she truly does pursue more.

You will have a MUCH more successful long term relationship always when:
-The woman respects you as a man
-She comes to you/pursues/makes herself available to you

IF you ultimatum her now, as suggested, you need to become scarce. Allow her to feel what it feels like to experience potentially losing YOU.

She isn't going to truly decide if she is ready to end things with him as long as you are allowing her to have both worlds, cake & eat it too scenario.

Its cliche, but its the "if you love them, let them go. If it's meant to be, she'll come to you, if not it wasnt meant to be"

Trust me & believe as those guys have said, IF you were 80% & he was 20%, he'd be toast. He'd have been 0% REAL fast & you would be 100%.

I think it's ok to let it roll a little longer because alot of women are very bad at getting rid of dudes they dont want.. many resort to TOTAL crazy (acting) behavior & shit trying to get HIM to get pissed and dump her
but some dudes just dont take a hint & stick around hard.
If he was like a high school sweetheart, her first(lost her virginity), been through alot with him, she'll be even more reluctant to leave.

Your best bet now though is to let her know,
you are a man of value
and you dont allow relationships that are in doubt to continue
so if she isnt moving on to you
you will be resuming dating
she may "call your bluff" if you pull away and dont REALLY move on dating and try to freeze you out. Dont break.
MAKE her come to you, by REFUSING to pursue her any more.
If she comes to you, reward her.. with amazing sex.
Never pursue again.
Just be the guy that delivers when she comes to you.

Personally though, I think you should start looking at new options. Believe me, as great as she may be, there are plenty more brother

Good luck