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Stephen I am sorry to steal the spotlight, but I need to hear Neo's opinion, as I've heard he is one of the experts. I am in a similar situation as Stephen, with a little bit of differences. We have been in a relationship for 1 year, I am 21 and she is 22, and we live together. In the beginning she was super needy, insecure, and jealous, and now she is completely the opposite, never showing signs of neediness, never qualifying, and taking me for granted. We have a 3 months dry spell, but my situation is worse than Stephen because I dont think she is even turned on by me any more.
But in terms of relationship power, she is the one holding on to me, and I am the one who is about to leave and break up most of the time. And she is the one who always rolls over in fights and problems, and she says she loves me to bits, and she does show it, but in a cute way, not in the seductive way I hope for ... She is quite good looking, but so am I, and she used to think I am too good for her, and that I can do better than her, which is probably true. Bottom line is, I feel like its time to for us to part ways, because like I sad, it feels she is not interested, never making out, never having sex... Oh yes and one more thing, the last time I broke up, the only reason I changed my mind is because she threatened to kill herself, as we were outside, and I ran after her to make sure she doesnt do it, because I wouldnt rule out the possibility completely... (long story, the relationship is full of drama). What do you thing Neo (and the other experts), should I end it?
I think alot of the problem is that you and Stephen focus too much on how the girl feels. Forget about whether she is attracted to you, jealous or interested. How do YOU feel in the relationship? I mean, it doesnt sound like either of you can be happy with these girls and i'd wager it would feel like you're doing a jail sentence. When you ask a girl to be your gf, you're not saying "I want you to be my gf, and will go through anything to make sure this lasts forever." You're saying "I like you, let's see if we're compatible and can be happy long term." If you want to feel wanted in a relationship and you want to have sex in a relationship, you can analyze and try to find theories for why you're not getting sex but you're the one suffering. Instead of asking "Does she like me?", think "Do I like her? Do I feel happy with her? or am I constantly blue balled and trying to figure out things?"
You're the prize. You gave her the privilege of being your gf, don't forget that. If you come to work late every day, your boss tells you about it, may try to help you get to work on time, but if you keep messing up they just let you go and find someone to do the job.
I never understood the blue balls shit. Never had a gf do that shit because they know I like to fuck and as much as I could love them, I love myself more. A girl blue balling me for bs would literally kill alot of my attraction for her. Both of you need standards.
You need to put your happiness first. Why would you accept anything less than what you deserve?
CHAT