Girlfriend of 8 months and I went on a trip away to NYC for 4 days. Long story short, something happened in my life during the trip that had me madder than I’ve ever been, and I let that show in my body language towards my girlfriend (ie. being distant, ignoring, being an asshole to her), who had nothing to do with it and had no idea what was going on. It got bad enough for me to the point where I ended the trip half a day early and I got her to pack up and we drove home to Ohio. I acknowledge that this situation is completely my fault and my behavior was uncalled for, kind of a one-off thing.

The week after, we talked about it, and the gist of it is that she doesn’t know whether or not she wants to stay with me after she’s seen this side of me, especially since she had nothing to do with it and I still let it affect the way I treated her. I’ve felt horrible about it all week long and went a bit AFC with asking (not begging) for forgiveness, telling her I’m willing to do everything I can to control my temper, even going as far as recording a song for her on piano (I’m a pretty damn good musician which she loves). But she keeps saying she needs time to think, which I’m now giving her, no texting or calls or anything. I’m not too worried about her cheating, she is a very good girlfriend and has a solid set of values (which is why I really want this thing to work out).

Before this everything was fine, we had lots of fun, she was very affectionate, always compliant, and loved hearing from me. Now I know the ball is in her court, as if I’m waiting on judgment on whether or not I’m a good enough person to deserve another chance. Is this situation salvageable? I want things to go back to normal, and I am genuinely going to make an effort to never let something like this happen again. Again, this is not my girlfriend trying to control/shit test me, I fully believe that the whole thing was caused because of my actions.

To be honest, I thought from the title this guy smacked the shit out some girl or something. I dont think it was a big deal. You didnt yell, swear at her (if so that's missing here). You were more pouty and distant and you ended a trip half day early. You were still wrong with how you handled it and I could see you being in the doghouse for a while but 8 months of happiness should be greater than 4 days of shit(especially if you had something bad in your life). If she breaks up with you or is seriously considering it now she has other reasons to leave. A girl never breaks up with you over one incident.

Thanks brother. I guess it took the opinion of one of you guys to let me know that what I did isn't as serious as I was making it out to be... still I think I really messed with her head by acting like that. She thinks it'll happen again.

So the best course here is to probably just let her clear her head for a bit, no contact, nothing, right? Everytime I initiated any light conversations this week she's been distant, mentioning that it seems like I'm trying to make it seem like nothing happened, so I will just give her the time she needs to think. My hope is in my absence she'll remember the fun times (there were a lot) before the trip, and decide to give it another go soon.

If you've effectively communicated that you are sorry, you don't aspire to be that guy, and that you will try not to be that guy and want her to help you do that, then yeah, silence is key.

If you haven't, I'd clearly and confidently get that message across and leave it. Don't push for a decision right then and there, just state your case and leave it for some time. This might be an instance if you went too AFC for too long that you did more damage there than in the actual instance.

It sounds like you lost your patience not your temper. If you think you have done something wrong then this is one of those times you just need to man up and apologize. GOOD LUCK

Well, update...

She broke up with me. After I apologized last, she said she needed time to think and we left it at that. I messaged her 3 days later (mistake I now regret, should've kept silent) saying if she wanted to talk I would like to do that as well, but if she needed more time then she could have it. She responded saying we should meet somewhere to talk but less intimate, maybe even a coffee.

I was annoyed by this (bad move I know) and said that we're in a relationship, if we are to talk things out it should be as a couple and not like we're strangers. She said she felt different about me now that she's seen my "angry" side and that it's not something I could change overnight as she now feels uncomfortable, and she didn't know if she wanted to stick around to find out if I could. Also gave me shit for not giving her the space she asked for (it's not like I texted her constantly every day, I'd only text once every few days and if no answer then I wouldn't continue).

So she called me that night and broke things off. We talked and I told her that I wanted us to be able to work through things like this together, but she wasn't having it, so I cut the conversation short by saying if that's what she wants then I'll respect her decision and wish her the best. Haven't contacted her since, it's been 3 days.

So I'm probably fucked... I definitely want her back but I know not to say a word to her unless she initiates. I do have other girls I can fuck soon (like this weekend soon), but I don't know if that'll just make me feel even worse about the whole thing. Does this look like it can be saved? Like I said, before this the relationship was mint, no problems at all and always kept her excited and sexually satisfied. The only time I was AFC was this past week or two when I apologized multiple times and asked her if she was ready to talk instead of letting her contact me when she was ready.

It doesn't look like it can be saved by you contacting her or begging for mercy.

The ONLY thing that could possibly save it for you is for you to move on, work on your temper issue, if you think it's something that you need to work on, and focus on that. I would not go out of my way, in any case, to show her to explain to her what you are doing. When your mind starts thinking about texting or calling, just remember that doing so is more or less buying insurance that you'll never be with her again.

Screw her. You lost you patience and were in a funk. If after 8 months you get pissed off (as long as you didn't verbally or physically abuse her) and pout, if she leaves the relationship wasn't strong anyway. I don't know what your definition of being an asshole to her is but unless you really went over the line, a good gf would at least understand you were mad. The AFC stuff was a bit much but this is bs.