Hey guys,

Long story short, I met a woman 7-10 years my senior (I am 30) last month at salsa class. We went out a couple of times and then the summer holidays kicked in and we lost touch. During the 2 dates we had, I did some cold-reading and other games on her and saw she was definitely receptive. Now, because she was older and also a colleague (even though she works in a different building and we never run into each other), I decided to put a stop to this.

From our discussions, I got the impression that she wanted a committed LTR. I was 100% I didn’t want anything long-term with her, and I would certainly want to date girls of my age at the same time. So, I did not find it appropriate to use her feelings just to have sex. Besides, I had some back-up plans and was dating some other girls at the same time.

One month later, my back-up plans led to nowhere. This wouldn’t be so much of a problem if I wasn’t going through a 4 year dry spell… To be frank, even with all the PUA advice and tips, I fail horribly at dating. Actually, she is the closest woman I have been to K*close all those years.

So, I start having second thoughts and tell myself that it could have been a chance to get back in track (I need practice, right?). I would really love to have a NSA relationship with her, but I am afraid she might want more. I don’t want to be a bastard and pretend that we are dating (moreover, I might get bad rep at work, gossip runs everywhere).

Should I still contact her despite knowing all that or should I forget about her? I am really busy with work until the end of the year, so I won’t have much time to date other girls. My dry spell keeps lasting longer and longer…

I am really tempted to send her a text but it could get messy… If we somehow hook up together, then how will I break up with her without hurting her feelings? Really don’t know what to do…

Thanks for any advice, mates

I've pondered the ethics of pickup before.

Basically the idea of fucking a woman who wants more, when I know I don't. You thought at some point that was a bad idea, and I think now you feel differently because you don't have a backup plan in place like you did before. Remember that. Just because you don't have a woman now as a fall back option, doesn't mean there is and will never be another option that comes along.

I determine whether or not to fuck a chick in the moment. Basically I feel like if I have said what it is I want and what my limits are, she is an adult and can make her own choices. If she gets more hurt because she fucks me and wants more, that is her fault, she is responsible. If I don't misrepresent my intentions, then I'm morally fine.