Ok so quick synopsis:

Known HB9 for a number of years. Always on and off but never anything serious. Never officially "dated".

HB9 got into long term relationship and I broke contact. 2 years later, relationship is broken up and we start talking again. This is 4 months ago. At first things were slow because she was getting over it and I respected that.

More recently we have been spending a lot of time together (3-4 times a week for past month). Every time we get together there is great chemistry and kino but still no sex. Always kiss hello and then some spooning and makeout before I go. The opportunity for sex just never seems to arise and whenever I try and make a move for it she gets uncomfortable. Even when I stay over she always is "too tired" or just falls right asleep.

I'm fine with it because I really care about her (please save the "Go bang 10 other chicks" comments). But lately it's been eating at me. She's basically admitted that we're dating and introduces me as her BF so I don't understand what the sex issue is.

To be fair I haven't been AFC at all. I pay most of the time, always do what she wants etc. Keep in mind that this isn't a chick I just met and am gaming though. But things have gotten serious enough where we have met each other's families, friends etc.

So basically I'm just looking for honest opinions on why the sex isn't happening and what I have to do to progress it there. I was LJBF'd for the first couple years we knew each other (way back) but I feel like I have broken that barrier now so I don't know what the hiccup is. I feel like if we just have sex it will make things less awkward and more normal.

The PUA in me knows this is a fucked situation but the other part of me says why would she carry it on if she didn't really care. And she is affectionate and buys me gifts etc. I just don't get it.

Any ideas?

Is there any oral or anything happening? how much do you make out? Sexually escalate all the time.

In the beginning you should be all over eachother, making out all the time. Remember that making out includes using your hands. On her body. Just try to make her really horny. There is a sexual escalation ladder somewhere on this forum (google it) that is decent if your not very good at what your doing. Get her really wet. If you can get her wet (usually you can get girls to soak their panties), lead her to your cock. If she still doesnt wanna do it, talk to her about it.

The explanation (if your getting her wet) could be that she has an STD or there is somethign mental that is stopping her.
"always do what she wants" is AFC. Your the MAN you decide what you two are gonna do together. Doing whatever she wants makes you an AFC.

Nah no oral or anything. I think it may just be a little weird because we've known each other for so long and have never had sex. And because I was LJBF'd for years. I feel like if I break the barrier it will be fine.

I'll look at the escalation charts. But like for instance when we're laying down she always turns her back to me so it's hard to do anything. I feel like I just suck at knowing the right timing to make a move.

Any pointers for laying down watching tv while holding her?

If your dating her and laying down watching tv you really don't need tons of pointers. Just stop getting so worked up over it and stop thinking she is "different". Just escalate and make your move like you would with any other girl.

Well she's said to me on a couple of occasions that we're not going to sleep together for a while. Don't know why or how to interpret it. It's weird.

Define "make a move"

It's possible you aren't arousing her. With respect to being turned-on women are like volume knobs whereas guys are like switches.

Timing.

Checkout my Peak Ovulation Theory thread at the PUA Lounge and then look at the estrogen graph. Take note of her menstrual cycle (if you've been along together and see each other everyday, you'll know when her monthly period occurs if she's a regular) and then aggressively escalate during the second peak (NOT the first peak) of her estradiol surge.

The sexual escalation technique here is to start your mental foreplay early during the day and then prolong the sexual tension until night time. Do some mental foreplay first before doing any physical foreplay. Mental foreplay tools will include texting, some slow RnB music with sexual undertones, etc.

When physical foreplay time comes, start that off with hand touching and then PROLONG the cuddling without any kissing or breast fondling or nipple sucking. Cuddle for at least one hour. After cuddle time, escalate aggressively and railroad your way through any LMR.

If you still lack enough experience in executing this, Practice Your Foreplay and Bedroom Skills on at Least 10 Other Women (wink, wink, wink).

_________________
Approach. Open. Escalate. Isolate

Here are my two essential rules on texting that will save you tons of time and money:

general-questions/topic137931.html

This is good advice except the ovulation theory bit. You can ignore that, just escalate regardless what day it is.
She is not physically attracted to you because you are not being a man. You do what she wants you to do. This is bad. You have to do what YOU want to do. Be aggressive. I'm not talking about rape Do stuff like random heavy make out then leave her. She will wonder what the fuck is going on.
Btw if there is no sex then this is not a relationship.
You can also talk to her about why sex is not happening. But be calm, and not a whiny bitch about this.
To be honest if a girl told me that sex is not gonna happen any time soon I would get the fuck out of there as soon as possible.

UPDATE

She pretty much ended it today. She said that she's been trying to make it work but she only sees me as a friend and that's why the sex has never happened.

Any recovery from this? IS it even worth trying to talk out? I mean I'm devestated to the point of feeling dead inside. I just don't know man.

We're perfect for each other. Just seems stupid to throw it all away without even attempting sex.

I think you should just learn from this experience. If your hanging out with a girl for a long time and sex isn't happening then your friend zoned. Personally from everything I have learned over the years I would still be friendly with her and contact her every once in a while, but I definitely wouldn't be friends with her and wouldn't be hanging out with her all the time. Next time your seeing a girl make a move for sex and see where you stand. If not you will always wonder what if. Forget her for the time being and focus on yourself. When your ready to be friends with her again I say go for it but realize it probably will never go further than the friends stage.

I hear ya man and I appreciate the advice. The thing is this is about the 5th time this has happened. Every time I disassociate and walk away she always comes back and we start up again.

I mean to me that says that she really does want it. She has a bad streak in her where she always ends up with some loser then reverts to me. I know there isn't much I can do about it but it kills me to see her unhappy when I know she is happiest with me. I mean this isn't pick up stuff. I love this girl. She is everything to me. I just can't keep going back and wanting to kill myself every time it goes south. And on the other hand I can't move on. I have gone out and done the bang other chicks thing when this has happened before but I still feel empty and never end up in a relationship with any of them because she's the only one I want to be with.

I'm supposed to have dinner with her tomorrow. I'm going to go. I have to try. Right or wrong.

Well good luck, just don't break down and cry or tell her about your thinking of killing yourself(this is crazy btw) because of her breaking it off. Just be relaxed and try to enjoy yourself and try to at least keep you dignity. If she keeps coming back though to me that means you are her crutch not her star crossed lover. My knee jerk reaction though is that you should move on, don't waste to much time loving a girl that only likes you when she is down. It also sounds like you are very young and she may be your first real love so it will be tough but just keep pushing forward instead of looking back.

Nah I'm not gonna do anything like that. And I'm joking about the hurting myself stuff lol. It's just depressing.

Just gonna be calm, cool and collected and try and talk it out and see where this went wrong. I think I need that at this point. Not gonna beg. Just gonna state my case.

And I'm not young. I'm 30. Just at that point in my life where I want to settle down and be with the person I want to be with. Thanks

Well good luck man hope it works out. I'm at the same point in my life, fucked it up with the woman I was in love with which is how I found this forum. Trust me when I say it gets easier.

Thanks man. I'm just gonna break it down to her. Put it all out there. She's never been as happy as I've seen her since we've been together. We have conquered every obstacle that relationships fail on. To let not trying sex get in the way seems absolutely insane. But women are!