So everything was great with my girlfriend etc.

I happen to see her message her friend that she is going to a bar close to her work that everyone normally goes to. She then said don't tell him i want to go by myself?

I got a txt from her saying im going to the bar with this guy brian and another dude she is friends with that i trust! and she told my to stop down if i want... This brian dude she hung out with him way before before her and i but it never went anywhere..

I ended up showing up later on because i wanted to see why she would go there because she never does. So she was quite at first and i bought the guy a drink and just kept at him and all the guys there to show i was the alpha male by the end of the night she was all over me even in front of him etc.

But should i be pissed that she was txting other people saying she doesn't want me to go and if you knew this info would you still have showed up or just tell her no go have fun i have plans tonight and then she will be thinking about all night anyway!

I also happened to read her msgs that night because this put up a big red flag but i saw a msg to the guy i trust that says. Im going to the bar with brian and i don't want to go alone with him will you tag along because i don't want my bf to come.

Me personally I would start withdrawing my feelings towards her HUGE red flag in the fact that she didn't want to see you at the bar.

I heard something on the radio today that said 60% of people in a relationship have checked there partners phones at one point and of those 60%, 40% of them found something that led them to believe their partner was either cheating or planning to cheat. I just avoid girls phones because honestly I don't want to know. GOOD LUCK

Dude she's running all over you. And ur friends are helping her.

This is weird...I can see the text "Im going to the bar with brian and i don't want to go alone with him will you tag along because i don't want my bf to come." meaning she wanted to go to the bar, but didnt want to be alone with the guy as its inappropriate because. In that case it just sounds like she just wanted to go out, didnt want to be alone with the dude (which is good), but she just didnt want you there. Could be she just wanted a night away from you or a night that wasn't bf/gf time. Sometimes people need their time away from their partner. The other way to look at it is she was sneaking to meet this guy, but I don;t see why she wouldnt just be alone with him then(like on a date). Seems strange she would sneak around, but still want someone else to be there. More info or an update would be needed. Something seems to be missing...is there a reason she won't want to have you there? I mean, I think if it was to cheat she would have gone alone.

Apparently it was because she wanted to go out and didn't want me to feel weird because she dated this guy before and she didn't want to go alone so that is why she brought he best guy friend. Anyway when she got there is was beat and she was bored and msged me to come and see her anyway. It still kind of urks me but i think i should have blow her off and so no baby have a good time ill catch up with you later i have some stuff to do but i showed up and turned it around either. This is the first time a red flag has been thrown my way but we have been spending alot of time together. So it was probably just to get away. Your thoughts?

That sounds better. I'd bust ur boys balls for not telling you about it. If you dont your a pussy.

[quote="Natty"]That sounds better. I'd bust ur boys balls for not telling you about it. If you dont your a pussy.[/quote]

I don't want him to know i went through her phone, he is more friends with her then i but he sticks up for me so that is why i trust him.

So with all of this i had a few questions:

My game has taken a turn now that im in a relationship i want to regain control but not lose her because of it. so here is the situation.

So in the beginning i was confident, went out with friends to bars etc, played sports, spent time with her etc. now that things are serious I have changed and i am always available to her and now of course i am spending time with her when i want to spend time and she is withdrawing herself etc. picking fights over stupid things etc and i give in a apologize.

An example was i went out with friends because she stopped txt me so i assumed she feel asleep, i told her the next day i was out with my boys and she seemed cool about it but then i got a txt saying im not happy that you didn't tell me you where going out and im going out by myself with my girls tonight. I was like ok but i was just hanging with the guys i told see the big deal. anyway the drama keeps increasing and now she ignores my txt when we talk etc. I know to withdraw but when i do she seems to withdrawl 10times more then i do.

So i know what to do with withdrawing my attention, don't respond right away etc. what do i do when she ignores me. Anyway what would you guys do to regain control.

Can't fully reply right now but just wanted to lol at your last post on relation to your first post dating everything was great but this. Context is really important for advice...

[quote="neo87"]Can't fully reply right now but just wanted to lol at your last post on relation to your first post dating everything was great but this. Context is really important for advice...[/quote]


It goes great for awhile and then i lose control. Im just trying to find a happy middle. Like now im pulling back a little and it is working she is responding right away etc but like how long should i hold back before i reward her good behavior ya know lil stuff like that?

If your going to constantly worry about when to respond to simple text messages I think your going to lose her. Just respond whenever you feel like it. If she pulls away then so be it, seems like it would happen regardless of your texting fast or slow. Just be decisive and confident in your actions. GOOD Luck